Late last night I helped a drunk neighbor attend to her drunk company whom were so messed up from drinking they could not walk and messed themselves. A hour or so passed by the time I had 2 sets of keys and two drunks cleaned up and sleeping ( passed out ). As I walked home I started to cry as I was overwhelmed with the memories of my drinking days just 16 months ago. That was me I just took care of. That was me thinking " I got this. I can drive". That was me messing myself and my family there to clean me up.
This morning when I woke up I thought about the night before and how thankful I was to have experienced the events at hand. It showed me how proud I should be of myself for making that decision to change my life. How I shouldn't be so hard on myself because it took me over a year to even get a year sobriety. How I shouldn't dodge getting a sponsor because I don't want them to know anything about me. How I should quit trying to find reasons why the steps won't work for me. And how if I don't stop being stubborn that could be me again.
I needed to be there last night. It came at a perfect time for me and my recovery.
What a great share and I can relate to everything you said ... it's great to be sober, ain't it ...
I live in Georgia, but I am from Nashville ... ... ... The 'Shade Tree Group' used to be my home group ... in the Hermitage/Donelson area ... my old sponsor is still there ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I really wish I could just have a few drinks and then stop, I REALLY do. The problem for me is after I have had a few, I stop caring about stopping. And every drink after that just takes me further and further into the abyss. Things happen you know!? UNFORGIVABLE THINGS!!! LOL!!! And im sure those drunks you helped last night had every intention of stopping after just a few. they just... didn't care after a while that night. Aint Nothing like a good hangover to remind you how much fun you had last night. If their anything like how I was they have probably stayed drunk throughout the day. And will do so as well tonight... the night time is the right time, yes??? oh yeeesssss!!!!
Thanks for the share. I can also relate to your share. One drink can lead me to that same depravity you described in your post. I'm glad you were the sober one doing the babysitting. It's a job that I have had to do a couple times since becoming sober. I can truly relate to you crying afterwards. Tears of joy plus some guilt of being the messed up one getting cleaned---with that awful sense of disgust and disgrace!!
It did me good to see others doing and being what I used to do.......seeing that lost look and stumbling around------wow, I was really there. And, the decision to have one drink will lead me right there again or worse!!
Welcome! I also had the experience of being around someone absolutely wasted on July 4th. He would not stop talking to me and it was irritating as hell. It gave me uncomfortable memories of being invited to parties and embarrassing myself and who I was with and then never getting invited back. It gave me uncomfortable memories of trying to initiate and participate in conversations when I was too wasted to keep up. This guy eventually passed out of course and it was obvious to me that he was fighting it and headed there from the second he came in. Hence, it seemed pointless to talk to him about anything that he wouldn't remember and that didn't make any sense anyhow. I just wanted him to go away so bad. It did strengthen my program I suppose but I guess it highlighted more work for me too maybe. It was an intense reaction. I almost had to ask my partner to leave because that is how I drank towards the end...so wasted and sloppy all the time. Drinking to pass out. It thoroughly disgusted me and took my serenity away for the entire time I had to watch and interact with him. I don't want to have that intense a reaction to someone that drunk but I guess it's not all bad. It means I don't want to go back to that.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hey Body, welcome! Many of us have found ourselves in social situations that involved drinking and drunks. I think it's a healthy reaction to cringe when it reminds us of ourselves. It's also a testament to the power of this program that we can navigate those situations with our sobriety intact!
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
