Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Thought for the day
Post Info TOPIC: Thought for the day
justadrunk


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3726
Date:
Thought for the day
Permalink  
 

Friday, July 5, 2013

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Survivor Guilt

We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.

Then it hits. Guilt.

Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.

We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a non-recovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.

How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.

And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.

We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.

We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.

Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden



__________________

Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  
Pythonpappy


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

Great post ... thanks Tasha



__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Pablomoses


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 212
Date:
Permalink  
 

Wow, this thought could be designed exclusively for me today and tomorrow!! I was invited to a family party tomorrow. There are several family members who have identified themselves as members of our alcoholic club, yet, they still practice their disease. I choose not to go to these functions for many reasons. I do feel a certain amount of guilt choosing this path.
Letting go of others with love, and loving myself without guilt is the key for me today!!

I can tolerate being the designated driver for friends, and have no problem watching them drink. There is just too much baggage that goes with watching family members drink.
MIP/AA is my chosen family, I must distance myself to get myself healthy and happy.
My quality of life has improved exponentially as I have remained sober, working a program day by day, maybe that is why I can't be involved with the drama patrol, which is certain members of my family.

Thanks!!



__________________
There but for the grace of God go I.
justadrunk


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3726
Date:
Permalink  
 

Good luck pab

__________________

Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Thought for the day