Oh Dori, ... what a tragedy ... my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family ...
Sometimes, the unexpected happens, and when it does we must try to be prepared and strong ... for us, one never knows if that next drink may lead quickly to being our last ... Personally, I don't think I have another 'recovery' left in me ... I almost died during the last one ...
I will stop at that, cause I figure you are beating yourself up enough to get your program back in order ... you belong here with us, not out there in the bottle where you are rendered useless ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks Pappy. My Dad died in '82. Mom and Granddad in '05. This is the worst. Eric was so young.
Believe me, I thought of using this as an excuse to drink again. But I kept going back to the Steps and God. And would Eric want me to drink over this??? No.
Taking a drink would have put me right back where I was. If I were to pick up the bottle again I would be doing what Eric did. Taking a short cut.
Now comes the anger. YOU STUPID KID!!!! Yep, just as I was. And then guilt for thinking such a thing. I survived and he did not.
Hey Dori, ... part of the story about my son's accident that I rarely tell, is that he never ever drove without his seat-belt ... this time, he'd had a few beers, dropped his cell phone, undid his belt to pick it up, ran off the road, flipped, and was ejected ... now he'd never walk again ...
I said the same thing ... YOU STUPID KID! ... (that happened in '09, ... 2 weeks before my 1st AA birthday)(it took every ounce of AA strength I had and the power of God to keep me from drinking that next few hours while he was in CCU ...)
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Dori, my mom died 5 days before my 16th AA thanksgiving. Every year she would prepare for it. She had gone on a holiday with her friends and suffered a stroke. My AA friends and their families just took over everything. I was functioning in super slow motion and nothing seemed real even on my thanksgiving dinner at my group. I thank God that she celebrated 15 years of my sobriety in total joy. I pray that God will strengthen you.
((((Dori)))) with empathy and compassion I wish his family and yours serenity. Short cuts...what a subject for another discussion or post. I don't believe that the consequences of God's will is shock and sadness. I believe that acceptance is from the will of God; for me. No matter what happens I can accept. Your perception of picking up again being a short cut is soooo very right on. Today that is more easy to see than when I was a newbie. I get it now and also get that alcoholism in my life was not of the will of God and AA was. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
The taproot to that kind of anger is usually fear. I was always fearful when I was out of control...powerless...unable to manipulate my situations. Might be that if he was in your presence you and he would be fine and he would have your full attention and generous love and then...he's not and HP's got him. (((hugs)))
