Before recovery, I was full of excuses. I didn't do this because... I acted this way because she did that. He deserved it so I gave it to him, etc. On the rare occasion when I was cornered and couldn't justify my behavior, I'd make an apology - but I'd always qualify it with an excuse or at the very least a reason. The bottom line was that I could always place the blame outside of myself.
As I worked through the steps of the program, I discovered a fourth column in the fourth step called, "my part." This column formed the basis of my amends during the ninth step and taught me the proper definition of an apology.
My sponsor told me that when making an amends or an apology, I was to focus strictly on my part, ask if there were any other wrongs I was unaware of, and then ask what I could do to make things better. "You've done enough damage," I can still hear him tell me. "Whatever you do -
"Don't ruin your apology with an excuse."
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Copyright @ 2013 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yeah, that's the truth. Mixing an apology with an excuse is giving it with one hand and taking it back with the other.
"I'm sorry you found my normal behavior to be highly inappropriate." :)
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
