Hey everyone, I'm new to AA, I have 68 days today! I've found a sponsor and of corse will be talking with her about this soon, but I thought I'd try online too. I have always believed in a higher power. I haven't had bad, or good experiences with any of it. But, I'm just having troublefor some reason praying... Andbelieving. It scares me. Why do I cringe when God is brought up in meetings? What am I supposed to pray for, or be thankful for? This makes me very sad I'm not accepting a higher power better. Will it come with time? I just don't want to be that person who says they pray when they really don't! Any experience, strength, or hope could help me :) thanks in advance!
I started with really simple childlike prayers like dear God, please look after mum and dad, please help me to stay sober and please look after my friends in AA. I had no real conception of God at this stage, just a willingness to believe. I was also following the Big Books imperative "we vigourously commenced this way of living AS we cleaned up the past. Backward though it might seem it was activity in steps 10,11 and 12 that gave me the will to take steps 4-9.
Now, aside from the serenity and Lords' prayer at meetings, I use three prayers frequently through the day and they all work. God, please take these stupid thoughts away. God please send me the right thought or action for this situation. (what is Your will for me?) And God, please can I have a car park. I try also to spend a little time in meditation each day.
Aloha Sara..."coming to believe" helped me first and then learning that prayer isn't always asking for stuff, for me it is conversation with that which I have come to believe in. The God of my understanding isn't simple. I was born and raised in Hawaii and currently my business has me working outside in the atmosphere; land, sea, sky, clouds, mountains etc. I have come to believe and understand my Higher Power as creator, Father or Father creator and I use the cultural name to bring my relationship with HP to a personal level...Akua. My belief is that Akua is with me 24/7...by Akua's own choice. I don't choose where or when my HP is present or who and what HP uses to steady my spirit or lift it. Prayer for me is conversation so I converse with my HP and mostly stay within grateful expressions. which keep me open to and for all the good stuff around me and how I fit into it. All of this around me isn't just a special gift...I am part of all that is around me as a brother or family member. I know that I am abided by because my life is peaceful and serene. It is perfect because I have accepted it for what it is and I have experienced events with my HP which never occured in my drinking life...magical, miraculous events just for me. Others have had these events too and most all of them have come to the conclusion that some "other" or higher power has changed for them what they could not change themselves and then come to the understanding of what they could change on their own and what had to be changed by a HP. That's a personal perspective of the Serenity Prayer which I practice. I no longer try to do God things I ask for the courage to do my things and the wisdom to know the difference between each.
Prayer is conversation. Awareness that "God is" is my 24/7 meditation. When I wake up I wake up into that meditation and I converse the 3rd Step Prayer in simple terms...."Place me where you want me and tell me what to do"...my things to do.
Hope this is helpful with the responses of the others. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
I have to leave in just a minute for some dr.s stuff ... ... ... Quickly, the 1st thing that came to my mind was to read the 1st 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous ... there are several examples of wonderful prayers in there ... and it helps you understand the reason you're praying and to whom ... it's a great start for anyone ... and it's a key factor in staying sober ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It took longer than 2 months to climb out of the wreck I made for myself to them really start feeling the presence of my HP. I suppose "cringing" at the topic of God is not unusual at first because those conversations have typically constituted religion in our pasts and we have no other contexts for spiritual discussion in most cases.
Just in my case, I had to be doing the next right thing for a while before I reached the point where I looked around at my life and all that was in it and realized I had changed so much that I said "Oh my God!" and meant the "God" part in a way that I never did before.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome! It's a good question with lots of answers I'm sure : )
For me - the first prayers were selfish. I wanted to stop drinking and asked to have my cravings removed from me. They continued to be selfish as I was taught that it's helpful to pray for the people you are pissed at, resentful at - that you wanna strangle LOLOLOL... I had a hard time in the beginning... my emotions were SO all over the place and I was a lot more angry than I realized. So I would pray for people who I was not happy with - selfishly - to get the relief from the anger... not because I really wanted them to by happy. But they told me to pray that those people would have the life that I would want. It did change my thinking, and I saw them as people with issues and trials, and lack of tools and recovery or whatever - and also a person who has a mother that loved them the best they could, and a God who loves them despite what I feel are their mistakes... and all that... I started seeing them as people, and not just as 'things that were suppose to behave how I WANTED them to'.
At that point - though I didn't really understand my relationship with my HP yet - it was a really great place to start, because if nothing else... my thinking was changing.
However... as my life became more and more beautiful thanks to AA - and I started seeing things in a new way - some magical... or 'spiritual' things started happening. The more I prayed... the more these moments that just COULDN'T be coincidences no matter how much I tried to rationalize or fluff them off - kept on happening. Finally - after all this, and then working the steps and having my desire to drink GONE - POOF! I was convinced in miracles that could only be something from a power I did not and still don't understand. A power greater than me that I can't comprehend, but don't really want to... and then baby steps led me to one giant leap... of faith... and sometimes I have to revert back to the baby steps again so I can take that leap again... but I hear that's just how it's suppose to be : )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
If you have no faith, pray "God, if You do exist, please lift this obsession from me."
Don't think it'll work? Well, it worked for Bill Wilson, and scores of millions of alcoholics that came after him.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
I pray for grace, strength, and willingness to follow His will for me. I pray for an open, loving heart and compassion for others. I pray to be a shining light. I pray for forgiveness for my errors. I pray to grow closer to Him. I pray prayers others have written that speak to my heart. I tell Him all my secrets, my doubts, my worries. I share everything and take comfort that He understands.
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Thank you all so much! My sponsor suggested reading the big book. So I'm going to doo that and my simple prayers to start. I get over board on thinking and stuff sometimes. Keep it simple right!? Thanks everyone!
Thank you all so much! My sponsor suggested reading the big book. So I'm going to doo that and my simple prayers to start. I get over board on thinking and stuff sometimes. Keep it simple right!? Thanks everyone!
well then, welcome to the club ... I can see we'll get along just fine ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You got that right, Sunshine!!! we are alcoholics, that means we think way too much about way too little....and say too much about way too little!! But this is the place to do it!! we are a notorious lot, but we remain open minded, miracles happen. and you are one of our newest ones! keep coming back. sheila/jj
my experience is time does not do anything. Doing the 12 steps in AA (the only set of directions for the steps are in the Big Book) is what slowly taught me how to pray, and more importantly WHO i was praying TO.
i had to do my own work.
The discomfort you are experiencing at the mention of God is growing pains.
3sunshine3 wrote:
Hey everyone, I'm new to AA, I have 68 days today! I've found a sponsor and of corse will be talking with her about this soon, but I thought I'd try online too. I have always believed in a higher power. I haven't had bad, or good experiences with any of it. But, I'm just having troublefor some reason praying... Andbelieving. It scares me. Why do I cringe when God is brought up in meetings? What am I supposed to pray for, or be thankful for? This makes me very sad I'm not accepting a higher power better. Will it come with time? I just don't want to be that person who says they pray when they really don't! Any experience, strength, or hope could help me :) thanks in advance!
