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Post Info TOPIC: Thought for the day
justadrunk


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Thought for the day
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k

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Surviving Slumps

A slump can go on for days. We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings we can't sort out. We may not understand what is going on with us. Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work. We still don't feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as good as we would like.

In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, even when we know better. We may find ourselves obsessing, even when we know that what we're doing is obsessing and that it doesn't work.

We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better, the whole time knowing our happiness and well being does not lay with others.

We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in ways we've learned all to well do not work.

We're in a slump. It won't last forever. These periods are normal, even necessary. These are the days to get through. These are the days to focus on recovery behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately. These are sometimes the days to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can.

We don't have to be ashamed, no matter how long we've been recovering. We don't have to unreasonably expect "more" from ourselves. We don't ever have to expect ourselves to live life perfectly.

Get through the slump. It will end. Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better. Sometimes it can last a little longer.

Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. Soon, the slump will disappear. We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by where we are today.

Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that this practice will move me forward. I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and detachment are a good place to begin.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.



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Pythonpappy


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Wow, Thank You Tasha, ... ... ... Boy, did I need this today!

Lately, I've been feeling a lot like one of those chrome balls in an arcade 'pin ball' machine ... ... ... bouncing all over the place ... going nowhere but down the hole at the bottom of the playing field ... and no matter what I do, I cannot keep the ball in play ...

On top of recent computer problems, which has and is driving me nutty, I've been going through a whole new set of medical issues and today started off no different ... I rarely discuss my personal problems here, but thought maybe some family input here might help ... (I'm about to fall asleep as I type this) ... I went to a sleep clinic last night on Dr. orders ... I didn't pass, as it turns out ...

It's really a long story but I'll try to be brief ... I mentioned to my 'heart' Doc a few weeks ago, that my family says my snoring has taken on a whole new level of irritation to them ... that I stop breathing, gag, snort, then start breathing again ... and a few weeks ago, I started waking up @ 3 to 4 a.m. every morning with severe 'back' pain ... here's how my night went:

Sleep study chronology:
- I called to get instructions and to confirm date

- I called again the day of, or the day before, to reconfirm what I needed to bring ... they told me comfortable sleepwear, a book, or perhaps a puzzle ...

- Me and another guy showed up at 8 p.m. as requested ... the place was locked up and we were let in by the cleaning staff (to stand out in the hallway) ... @ 8:20 or so, clinic staff arrived ...

- during a pretest questionnaire, they were told of my recently developing sleep problems, and that I was taking meds for pain in the a.m. ... and that I had not brought the meds with me cause I thought narcotics might skew the test results ...

- I made it known that I live within 1 mile from the testing site (so round trip home was a five minute trip)

- they continued to 'wire me up' and we began the test

- @ 4:15 a.m., I awoke with severe back pain and they wanted me to try and go back to sleep ... I informed them that was not possible without the new meds ... they then told me it didn't matter if I had to take the meds or not, as far as the test results ... and that they needed a couple more hours of testing or the test would have to be repeated ...

- I said then why didn't you instruct me to retrieve my meds before continuing with the test, I was 5 minutes round trip from my house? ... and there was ample time to do so without delaying the test ... (there was a 45 minute gap for them to wire up the 1st guy)


Idiots!!!


A different person called me later on this a.m. to inform me that they had plenty of data to make a diagnosis ... I do, in fact, have severe 'sleep apnea' ... ... ... they said my blood/oxygen level dropped to as low as 81% during the test (below 90% is real bad) and that I had stopped breathing many times and the longest period was for 36 seconds ... ... ... she said she's not a doctor, but that the spinal cord deprived of oxygen like that could cause severe pain, among some more significant problems that I won't bother to mention ... and that I should be expecting a call from the doctor soon ...

Meanwhile, I've been going to the Chiropractor when I'm not at the kid's house, to try to get pain relief ... that usually works, but not this time ... and my wife and I haven't seen each other for more than a few hours here and there since my son's surgery a month and a half ago ...

So, ... ... ... I can easily relate to being in a slump as talked about above ... the suggestions made above are good for me to concentrate on for today ... maybe the evening meeting today will help ...


Sorry for unloading here, but I do feel a little better, ... ... ... it's just hard to be 'upbeat' when your 'back' is killing you ... something I think Tasha has experienced if I'm not mistaken ... ... ...


Love you guys and God Bless,
Pappy



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justadrunk


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Sorry to hear about all of this : ( Sounds like a real kill-joy! I do have constant back pain - and that is something that I never would have related to sleep issues - but I am going to check that out too! Glad you shared about it! I know that when I was drinking, I had snoring going on, but my husband hasn't said anything since then... and I haven't asked!

I sure hope you can get some relief from this! I recently learned more about sleep apnea, and had no CLUE that there were so many complications with it other than lack of sleep!

It sounds to me like me when I'm not feeling or accepting that I and everyone else is doing what they need to do to learn the lessons they need to learn - and it is not up to me to teach them.

This is a safe playground to let out the emotions and resentments and frustrations and be totally accepted and loved just as you are. It's also a place where we come to share the joys and discoveries. I love it here, and you are so loved Pappy : )



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Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  
Q


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Hey Pappy, here's praying for your recovery from sleep apnea. They do have good treatments for it - I hope you find one that relieves your suffering!

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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.  ---William James
Pythonpappy


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Thanks guys, ... I just really don't want to become someone who complains all the time ... I hate that ...

And Tasha, ... as for the 'sleep apnea' ... this seems to have started months ago ... it began with the 'sense' that I was getting a great night's sleep ... but suffered from extreme fatigue the next day ... I chalked it up to getting older ... but in fact, it seems your body is starved for oxygen and you really aren't getting the benefit of a good sleep ... ... only after my wife and son alerted me to the fact that I had begun to 'stop breathing' during sleep, then gasping for air after a long period, did I believe that I might have a serious problem ... the 'back pain' surfaced much later ...

Thanks for the prayers ... occasionally, that's the only 'pain relief' that works ...


Love you guys,
Pappy

 

P.S.   Tonight's meeting was exactly what the 'Dr. ordered', so to speak ... LOL ... amazing what true love of the fellow members can do for a person!!!



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
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