Hi, I'm Troy and I am an alcoholic. I just found this forum and am enjoying it. I'm 49 years old and have been drinking since I was 15 or so. I tried online AA only a year ago and it was a dismal failure. I may have lasted about 2 weeks before I was back to drinking.
3 weeks ago, my 19 year old son told me that he was sick of watching me drink. I never expected that my drinking had any impact on him, but I guess it did. My wife gave me the soft ultimatum. So I pondered my path for the past 3 weeks while I was out of town to teach a class. I think those 3 weeks were a nice reprieve from myself.
But as I drove home, reality started creeping back in and I decided that everything about life had become too insane to continue down that path. I live in a large enough city that I could find a group to visit to see what this AA was all about. I made a call to the local and found a couple of options. I unwittingly walked into an alanon meeting because it was in a building next door to the AA meeting. After a few minutes, I bolted because I just couldn't deal with thinking about what I was doing to my family.
I found the next meeting in another location and ended up there. My first thought as I sat nervously was that I was not like this bunch of drunks. I almost bolted again, but I decided that I ought to at least stay and listen for a bit. I was amazed at what I learned as I listened to those alcoholics shared on the topic of trust. Sheesh, I was just like them. They knew!
I'm so grateful that I was finally brave enough to park my butt on a seat for an hour. Tomorrow morning I am going to a beginners meeting to try and figure out what this is all about.
Welcome home - we're all family here... glad you've found us here at MIP - I think you will find this to be a nice addition to meetings : ) I tried doing only online and failed too - live meetings is where I found sobriety... but I've used this right along side of the live program.
The door is always open if you have a desire to stop drinking for today. Just don't drink today - and go to meetings as much as possible - every day if possible for 90 days and see what happens. That seems to be the best possible start for people, and you deserve the best chance at this.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Aloha Troy and welcome to the board...good to have you here and I have to agree that Yeppers!! alcohol can take down a believe with or against their will. This is powerful sickness...mind, body, spirit and emotions. Glad you got early awakenings and hope you learn about duplication...repeating your first day in AA every next day for 90 days and then take a look at the question...Am I an alcoholic? again. Remember...do it just one day at a time and don't drink any of those days. Keep coming back here and sharing your experiences with us. That also keeps us sober.
Welcome Troy! Glad you mind is opening up a bit. I would suggest reading the big book now. When I read that I was like "What the hell!? They wrote this book all about me? And it was written in the 1930s....!" Pick up a copy of "Living Sober" also if you can. That is a great book to have for starting this journey. I am excited for you because I can hear elements of a true surrender. It does sound like you are ready for this. It's not all about quitting drinking. You are ready to change and it would seem your desire to change is outweighing your fear. That is a good thing. Keep us updated!
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Just back from the beginners meeting. Wow, what a way to start my day. The group was a little more organized, so I have the phone list and was able to visit before and after with a couple of folks. They even gave me a copy of the Big Book. I think I am going to stick to Step 1 for a while so that I am certain about my powerlessness over alcohol, but it seems to me that Step 2 and 3 sort of blend together with it.
Welcome Troy! Stick around and help us stay sober. :)
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Welcome to MIP Troy, ... ... ... glad you found us ...
1st things 1st ... admitting to yourself that you indeed have a problem ... when I started thinking about how I was going to get a 40 oz. beer after work and then another before I got home, I started to realize that 'alcohol' was doing my thinking for me ... there's a simple test to help you decide ... but you must use total honesty:
IS A.A. FOR YOU?
Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try whether you think it can help you.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism. We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days? Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.) Yes No
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do? In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to. Yes No
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk? We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually. Yes No
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year? Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially." Yes No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble? At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it. Yes No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year? Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking. Yes No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home? Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime. Yes No
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough? Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more. Yes No
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to? Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop. Yes No
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking? Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk. Yes No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"? A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking. Yes No
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink? Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired. Yes No
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES,we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.
There are many roads to recovery including substitute substances(methadone /suboxone,antabuse etc)but WE here at MIP subscribe to the methods of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Only you can decide for yourself if Step 1 "your life is unmanageable and when you pick up a drink you are powerless to stop..(you have given some descriptions of your using habits.You can also read the Big Book on the breakdown of different kinds of drimkers beginning with CHAPTER 2 THERE IS A SOLUTION...WE believe we suffer from a mental physical and spiritual illness and we find our solution by putting down the substance and getting into what we call the solution"THE STEPS.worked with a sponsor and the application in all areas of our lives...
As far as identification,that is also up to you..There are 2 major differences in the STEPS as approached FROM both programs 3rd tradition(5th tradition at a meeting) and Step 12 (AA is more drug specific here where as NA is more inclusive of the addict) I personally do not believe in identifying as an ANDA (addict and alcoholic) but that is my own thing I feel that may shift the particular focus of each separate program but I have been to so many meetings (BOTH AA AND NA where there is ANDA identification MORE SO TODAY THAN 20 YEARS AGO.)Some meetings will address that issue(hopefully privately afterward) others may not ...The times they are a changing they say!!...Im from the old school thought pattern but this is not about me...I have actually identified as a firm believer in our 3rd tradition(ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS desire TO STOP USING/DRINKING).I respect the house im in(my stuff) You have answered a lot of your own questions.Do not let names or Identification or am I this or that stop your recovery WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN RECOVERIES AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REMAIN FREE FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION ...Just For Today "dont use"(drink or drug or use any mind altering mood changing substances and all roads to recovery ,a day at a time, is open to you..Thanks for sharing.In support and prayer WE DO THIS TOGETHER....seek that sponsor to guide you through(You do the work)the STEPS,give back to the best of your ability ,find that POWER greater than you(and a guideline though not stated is IT only be loving and caring AND GREATER THAN YOU )remember our 2nd Step says 'we came to believe'THAT' not "IN' a Power COULD restore us to sanity....Hope to hear more from you...Stay blessed and More is always revealed.........'
Stick around man, miracles happen here!!!
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey Pappy, thanks for that list of questions. I honestly took it last weekend and I answered yes 9 times. I decided to stick to step 1 because the last time I tried to quit drinking, within 2 weeks of not drinking, I decided that I didn't have a problem and could go ahead and drink casually. Big mistake, 11 months later, here I am. This time for good. But, i can also say that Steps 2 and 3 are just the logical next steps. As a practicing (I still haven't gotten it right) Christian, it just makes sense to me who my HP is and what HP can do. I did find a promise in Deut. 29:6 that seems to fit quite well. Thank you all for the support. As a new friend told me this morning at the meeting, "We're gonna keep loving you until you believe that we love you." It sure means alot to me.
Troy: ask God to relieve you of your obsession. It's never too early to do that!
He did it for me, and scores of millions of other alcoholics.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
You are welcome Troy ... the test is mainly for those who are 'riding the fence' and unsure of what their next step should be ... ... ... glad you're here!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi Troy and welcome to MIP. You mentioned in yout first post that you wanted to find out what AA is all about. The short answer is that it's all about ACTION, not understanding. It's impossible to understand the program in advance, the first part of faith I guess.
If you are an alcoholic of my type (hopeless variety) you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience can conquer. It follows then that having this experience is the top priority, a matter of urgency, as until this occurs the obsession can and does return and we drink again. The path to this experience is the 12 steps. The first merely identifies the problem but most emphatically does not bring about recovery. If you are powerless over alcohol and suffer no delusion that you will ever be able to drink safely at some future time, than that's about step one in the bag.
Step two is choosing the solution. If you are beyond human aid, then spiritual help is about all there is left. Could the power that has worked for so many others, work for you also. If you are willing to believe this is possible then that is step 2.
Step 3 is a decision to take whatever action is necessary to hand your life over to God and be guided by Him in the future.
The action for step 3 is step 4 where we begin to clear away the things that have been blocking us from the sunlight of the spirit.
Step 4 is where the journey really begins. Some might counsel a slower pace. In my experience no one seems to know how long they have to get into action before they get caught in that strange mental blank spot and find themselves drunk again. For me it was about 3 weeks, for others it may be less. This is the powerlessness that we talk about. We have lost the power of choice in drink. We could all stop for a few days on our own power, but we need a long term effective defence gainst the first drink and that must come from a higher power. It's all about action.
