The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.
Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.
We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.
We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.
We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.
The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes.
Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Well Jeannie...these are my own words..and just my take on this...
I can hang onto baggage from yesterday..guilt and remorse..no self confidence.....from failures...beat the shit out of myself...hold resentments against myself and others..and many more negative things..that can take me right into the valleys of depression..and hell..and have a really big pity pot party...with the "Why Mes" "And why didnt things go MY WAY??"
or
I get can rid of that stuff..and climb out of the valley..by working through the 12 steps..
Then I can feel really good...big ego..got everything..and everybody..going and doing things my way..
Look into tomorrows..get these big ideas..and goals..and want it all "RIGHT NOW"!! Expectations of others..and myself..way out there..
What happens? I shoot for the moon..and forget to take enough fuel to get there.:) and the rest of the people...I counted on..jumped ship..
The higher I jump...the bigger the fall..
!2 steps..baby steps..Higher Power...
Little goals at a time..one day at a time..
If we aim for little peaks..and fall-the bruises arent as big..
We didnt get this way in one day..we arent going to get all better in 6 months.:)
And if we are trying to climb a mountain...without leaving the baggage behind...its a pretty heavy load..to get where we wish to go...
The 12 steps are in order..exactly as they should be...
I did everything my way..for a long time in this program...
The steps werent for me...DOH!!
I thought I could do everything on my own..and get better...
I firmly beleive..that in a lot of ways..I got sicker..
Dont know if Ive helped Jeannie...but there are no easier softer ways..
Ive tried em all...
Ive learned that everything in this program ..is suggested...simply because, we dont like being told what we hafta do...
Know what?...all this suggested stuff...is really."We had damned well betters" or nothing..absolutely nothing... is going to get better..
Been there..done that...
Keep pluggin gal..
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Boy did I need to hear that! Phil, as always... thanks for not beating around the bush. We make it a lot more difficult than it has to be. Keep up the reality checks. I appreciate it more than you know!
Welll guys...I have people in my support system..and on this board...that hafta give me reality checks...sometimes on a daily basis..and thank God..they are there..
Sometimes..they really piss me off..because I dont like what they hafta say..
But they say it out of love..and it gets one back in balance..with whats real...and we learn some more..
I have days where my balance is wayyyyy off key..and the ego dictates what the day is going to be like....not a good thing.:)
Humble is a big word...
An old timer told me once.."Hey kid? Youre just a small splash..in one big ocean..youre not the whole ocean" ohhh that one hurt....but he was right...
Its easy to talk the talk...its a lot harder..to walk the walk.:)
Have a good night...
Jeannie...just dont drink today...and do youre best...Youre doing that...
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
thanks for the share hoping to come around here more often to learn more about myself and to start elevating myself to a level of honesty and vunerability.
ballance seems to be something i can attain when i have me in check and life in perspective...and stay in the moment.
humility and an open heart and mind coming out behind the walls that i needed to build for the last year to keep it together....but selfishly cutting myself off from love and knocking down people to avoid my own pain. somewhere along the line i got all wrapped up in survival mode and lost my humaness...something regretable...
ballance for me is allowing me to be vunerable and to allow and respect others to do the same. For the more i try to control my life the more unmanageable it can get. And is when i become a person i find unacceptable.....
good post thanks again.
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armed with the twelve steps all things are possible
