A friend of mine kept relapsing in AA. Eventually he struggled to gain a few months of sobriety. Then the most horrible thing happened. He had a car accident and became a quadriplegic. I used to visit him in hospital for almost a year and he fully expected that God will give him a miracle and make him walk again. Unfortunately it's 3 years now and he has not improved a single bit.
I had to stop visiting him because he has become spiritually sick also, resentful and angry at everyone including AA which sought to help him. When we are given the miracle of sobriety through AA we must use it with gladness of the heart. I thank God that I never squandered that gift of sobriety, even through many temptations and trials.
"My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems. It was fortunate, for my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, during which I found little work. I was not to well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going." pg 15 Bill's Story AA book.
My son is a quad ... on Fri. the 13th, 2 weeks before my first AA birthday, (I like to say birthday here, because I was truly reborn) he was drinking after work that day and had an accident on the way home, single car accident in which he was ejected ... ... ... He has done remarkably well, but still has periods of depression mainly because of loss of friends ... (they slowly disappeared) ... truly a sad story AND very hard to witness ...
My son could be what they call a 'high maintenance' friend, ergo the loss of real friends ...
I say this so as to convince you that your friend may not be pleasant to be around, but I suggest you try and let him see God through your eyes ... Don't stop seeing him because of him ... see him so as to let him know there IS something to strive for after all ... it's not the end of the world ... my son went through a period of 'acceptance' then began to do things that quads are not supposed to be able to do ... (he has limited use of his hands, so he's classed as a high functioning quad) ...
Please do not abandon your friend ... this would only add to his list of reasons not to live ... trust me ... And just so you know, they typically don't like asking for help ... but by being around and letting them know you haven't given up on them is a tremendous encouragement to them ... and they will not always show that ... it is natural to become bitter and hate the world ... it is also natural with some, to blame everything on God ... he needs to be led or guided into seeing that differently ...
Be the light for him to emerge out of the darkness that he feels trapped in ...
God Bless him and you, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You have shared much wisdom here with us all ... and I know first hand of the issues of which you speak ... you and I also share a common gratitude to the same God above ... I know that from your past sharing, and I love it ... you have been a rock and I've learned much from you ...
I feel you have accepted my comments in the right frame of mind and for that, I am grateful ... it's been over 4 years since my son's accident ... I'm at his house now assisting in things that need doing since he just had surgery a few weeks ago ... unfortunately, while in recovery for yet another back surgery, he went to put on his socks and when he pulled his leg up manually to do so, he snapped the femur into two pieces ... they put his leg in a cast, so now his leg sticks straight out from the wheelchair and prevents him from driving ... so I got to take him to Dr.s appointments and such ... (and there a lot of them) ...
I just wanted to say to never give up on your friend ... I know you, and I know you pray for him still ... again, let him experience God through your eyes and actions ... your never ending faith will hopefully inspire him to a better spiritual connection ... sounds like he needs AA NOW, more than ever ... encourage him to become involved and get out of the 'self-pity' mood and into the 'I can help others' mood ...
Let him know that just his 'testimony' in meetings can save lives, that he can be the catalyst others need to work the program ... There is much he has to live for if we can get him to open his eyes and his heart ...
Love ya man, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
