I really can't remember the last time I sat in a meeting when someone announced a relapse. Today there were 4! It was the noon meeting. I go to it about once per week still.
I suppose it's something about spring, and thinking that a beer sure would be nice with that BBQ... or whatever... it can be that simple really for us... can't it
I guess today I will be extra careful that I keep doing what I need to do. I REALLY didn't want to go to a noon meeting today, but I'm glad I did. I don't have to wonder what would happen if I tested the waters... thanks to those 4 who did and shared about it.
I alone am powerless over alcohol. I have no defense against that first drink. None what so ever. I can not remember without help what it was really like... not really. My mind twists things... it goes places it shouldn't, and causes me to forget really fast and all together. Without help, it is too much for me... and I will certainly drink. If I don't, I will be miserable for it, without that same place I seek out the help to remember what it was like and what it's like now. I wasn't likable before AA... that's what it was like. I couldn't like myself, and I couldn't feel it if you did either. I would be stuck in that dark corner where I can't live with it and can't live without it.
Today I am free in the light of the spirit - thanks to you my friends, AA & my HP. Thanks Bill and Bob, and for all of you who keep the light on, and the coffee hot.
I need to announce to my fellows that I am an alcoholic regularly... Hello, I'm Natasha, and I'm alcoholic... grateful to have a place to say that today : )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Nice thing about this program, there are these folks that will go out and do "the research" for us. All we have to do is show up at meetings to hear the results.
Hi Natasha. I agree with Dean, I don't mean to sound heartless or uncaring, but whenever someone has a relapse and comes back to tell us that it was bad and didn't work any better this time I thank them because I don't have to go out and try it. If it didn't work for them it won't work for me either. One of the great things since I sobered up is that now I not only learn from my mistakes but I learn from other people's mistakes too. I pay less attention to what people say and more to what they do. Sometimes I can't hear a word they're saying because they're actions are screaming too loud.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Great post, dear. It's unfortunate to see so many suffering alcoholics out there, but I need to remind myself, every day, how fortunate we truly are.
We certainly walk a thin line when it comes to recovery, and for some it can become even thinner. They either abandon the program altogether or become so disillusioned that they forget how lucky they truly are. It's a critical part of this recovery program that I feel is truly missing: Emotional sobriety. Once we get our emotional house in order we can better manage life in and out of this program, for sure.
I also agree with the alcoholic part: But for some of us recovery is not about finding solutions, but how to better manage our expectations. We've come so far and expect so much, but what we don't realize is how expectations can ruin a good recovery program. They can become the catalyst the causes another relapse, or worse. That's why I remain humble, because humility and an open mind can lead me to faith: Faith in all things recovery. It's how I work this program.
As I look back on my life I can honestly say I wouldn't do anything different. Every morning brings new opportunities and with every breath comes another reason to live. But there's one thing I will never forget and that is this: Once we turn an uncontrollable urge into a manageable task, like you have, then sobriety can feel at lot easier. But it's not always that way for everyone. The world seems pretty small when we view it from inside a bottle, but let it be known: We can change the person, but not always the view. Pessimism and alcoholism go hand and hand. So what version are we? Well, I think you already know. Thanks, again, for reminding me. Have a great sober tomorrow. Onward...
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 02:36:20 AM
I went to a nooner the other day and I very much didn't feel like going. Just before I was about to walk in the door I got a phone call that a family member had died of an overdose. It was a good reminder that this disease doesn't eff around. At the meeting someone shared about a relapse and I too hadn't heard of a relapse in a while. I was able to share about my family member and share about my feeling that if I can't stay sober I can't help other people stay sober. I then gave my number to a woman who was struggling.
Nice post! I go to a noontime meeting almost daily. There are two in my area- one is generally considered 'better' than the other by many in AA. I like them both equally, for different reasons. At the one, there is a large contingent of solid sobriety, the steps are often discussed and there are many old timers and newcomers alike. The other is one that relapse is discussed often, and many who are not sober, or have trouble putting any time together attend this meeting. It's both a great opportunity to extend my hand to those struggling and a great place for me to hear how bad it really is out there. I am often reminded just how precious sobriety is. This meeting may have a bad rep, but I always, always learn something every time I go... No matter how much I may have not wanted to go. It is heartbreaking to hear of relapse, and especially of those that struggle with wanting sobriety but perhaps are not done drinking. I find myself praying for those that still suffer often. Yes, I am, and always will be, an alcoholic.
I hang with those who have "gone back out" and I listen intently and sometimes ask important (for me) questions. It's one of those "hasn't happened ...yet" things with me. I learn better and more when I'm sober.
Great post as usual Tasha...I'm still waiting for the one to come back from out there....And say "It was better this time!"....That's if they're lucky enough to make it back....Learn from it....Be there for them....And learn from it.