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Post Info TOPIC: En Bloc Blackouts !!


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En Bloc Blackouts !!
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Hello Guys,

I am a 35 years old Male from Chandigarh (The City Beautiful), India. I have been drinking since 1992 when I was 16. In fact, my DAD offered me a BEER when I cleared my High School with Distinction Grades & ever since, there is no looking back. I am not a  daily drinker but a weekend freak who loves to party with friends. For the last 4-5 years, there have been couple of instances when I actually BLACKED OUT completely. I don't even remember how I drove back home in my CAR. During 2 of the instances, I lost my wallet. Once, I banged my car somewhere of which I only have a faded memory that I hit some tree while taking a turn. Once, I almost slept in my car in the middle of the road, luckily, my friends were following me & they drove me home. 

Every time, these things happens, I feel guilty of being so much irresponsible. I am a family man, got a lovely wife & a daughter who cares & loves me so much.

I did an evaluation of myself & jotted down couple of things. The first & foremost being the company of one of my good friend who is a daily & a heavy drinker. I think, 99.99%, he is with me always when I go out. I seemed to be matching up with his pace which is wrong I believe. He is a good friend & I don't wanna loose him. In fact, at times, I have been helping him out with his daily drinking habits but I think now, I am more or less, getting fitted into his frame. I have got other friends who are my well wishers, they have been telling me to stay away from his company, not sure if that would be the right way to get sober.

Any suggestions please?

Have a nice day .. :)



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Hello Old Smuggler, ...

Welcome to MIP ... ... ... glad you found us ... there is a ton of information to be found here in the past posts AND we address current issues as members bring them up, in an 'on-going' active board for all to view ... we monitor each others progress and we bond with others on some spiritual level ...

So? ... You're a weekend party animal? ... little or no control over how much you drink? ... 'blackout' sometimes? ... and have a 'best friend' that drinks the same way? ... and you spend time doing this rather than being with a family that loves you and is probably very concerned for you?

There are some tests here with a few questions to let you see if you are 'alcoholic' or not ... ONLY YOU can make that decision ... if what you do when you 'blackout' scares you, and you continue to repeat that over again and again, then we know you probably belong here with us ...

As far as your friend goes ... yes, it is easier for you to quit drinking if you're not around him for a while ... in fact, he may get envious of your courage to get sober and try and to do the same ... you could be the example he needs to encourage him to get sober too ... and the extra time at home can be a blessing to those you love as well as blessings to yourself ... if you feel you have a problem drinking and cannot stop, you're in the right place ... the solution to your problem is here ...


Love ya man, and stick with us for a while ... you can always re-claim your misery by drinking if you wish ...
Pappy



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Is A.A. For You?

Twelve questions only you can answer


Copyright © 1973 by A.A. World Services, Inc.
IS A.A. FOR YOU?

Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try
whether you think it can help you.


We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.


Answer YES or NO to the following questions.

1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No

3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No

4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No

5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No

6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No

7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No

8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No

9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No

10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No

11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No

12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No





Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES,we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.

There are many roads to recovery including substitute substances(methadone /suboxone,antabuse etc)but WE here at MIP subscribe to the methods of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Only you can decide for yourself if Step 1 "your life is unmanageable and when you pick up a drink you are powerless to stop..(you have given some descriptions of your using habits.You can also read the Big Book on the breakdown of different kinds of drimkers beginning with CHAPTER 2 THERE IS A SOLUTION...WE believe we suffer from a mental physical and spiritual illness and we find our solution by putting down the substance and getting into what we call the solution"THE STEPS.worked with a sponsor and the application in all areas of our lives...

As far as identification,that is also up to you..There are 2 major differences in the STEPS as approached FROM both programs 3rd tradition(5th tradition at a meeting) and Step 12 (AA is more drug specific here where as NA is more inclusive of the addict) I personally do not believe in identifying as an ANDA (addict and alcoholic) but that is my own thing I feel that may shift the particular focus of each separate program but I have been to so many meetings (BOTH AA AND NA where there is ANDA identification MORE SO TODAY THAN 20 YEARS AGO.)Some meetings will address that issue(hopefully privately afterward) others may not ...The times they are a changing they say!!...Im from the old school thought pattern but this is not about me...I have actually identified as a firm believer in our 3rd tradition(ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS desire TO STOP USING/DRINKING).I respect the house im in(my stuff) You have answered a lot of your own questions.Do not let names or Identification or am I this or that stop your recovery WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN RECOVERIES AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REMAIN FREE FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION ...Just For Today "dont use"(drink or drug or use any mind altering mood changing substances and all roads to recovery ,a day at a time, is open to you..Thanks for sharing.In support and prayer WE DO THIS TOGETHER....seek that sponsor to guide you through(You do the work)the STEPS,give back to the best of your ability ,find that POWER greater than you(and a guideline though not stated is IT only be loving and caring AND GREATER THAN YOU )remember our 2nd Step says 'we came to believe'THAT' not "IN' a Power COULD restore us to sanity....Hope to hear more from you...Stay blessed and More is always revealed.........'



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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Welcome, Old Smuggler.

Congratulations on finding the courage to join us on this site and begin to face your drinking. Sometimes taking that first step can be the most frightening, in my opinion.

For what it's worth, it sounds to me like your drinking might be a problem. It also sounds like you have a good life outside of drinking, with friends and family, and a great city.

One thing I wish someone would have told me when I first started suspecting that I was drinking too much was that you can lose EVERY good thing in your life with one bad night of drinking. Friends, family, health, job, freedom - all of it can disappear with the dangerous mixture of a blackout and a bad decision.

I'm not saying that to sound scary, but rather in the hopes that you will understand how dangerous it can be to reach a point where you are blacking out. And it sounds like you've had a few close calls.

Anyway, as always, Pappy had great advice that I highly recommend following. God bless and good luck. I hope you keep coming back to this site and posting about your experiences. There are lots of great people, great conversation, and tremendous amounts of support.

Best,
Adam

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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton



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Thanks for the reply Brother, I appreciate it by heart.


Yes, I undeniably want to admit that I am a weekend party animal with a little or no control at all. Blackouts have been common during the past 4-5 years & I tend to forget the last 1 hour or so of the previous night events. What really scares me is when I get up next morning & try to recall the events of the last night; I have an absolute faded memory. Most of the times, I have no clue of my driving back home. But, to my utter surprise, I always manage to reach home except few not so appalling incidents. But, this is not the way I want to be. I just cannot put my life at risk & the lives of others as well. Plus, being an educated person, I know that alcohol puts a big toil on ones health & wealth.


I work in software MNC at Managerial level with pretty good package. People know me as a thorough gentleman at work. I am not an atheist but seems like something drives me as soon as the weekend comes. I just cannot resist the temptation. Most of the times, it is me only who initiates the weekend outings with my friend. Honestly, 4-5 years ago, it was the other way round. It was him who used to entice me for an evening full of fun but seems like I have lost the track now. On weekdays, I am very busy with my work; I never drink alone @ home. There have been social events too wherein I remember that I forgot my limits & came back drunk with a total blackout. Got involved on a roadside brawl once, lost my car keys & kept stranded till morning. BTW, my friend was with me during that incident as well. I am not blaming him for the current state of affairs but I have realized that I can definitely get sober if I keep a distance from him.

I once found myself sleeping under the bed in other room, not sure why I went under the bed & slept on floor. All I remember is that I came back home late & generally when it happens, I prefer to sleep alone in our other bedroom.

I love my wife & daughter but I am little reserved at home. I prefer spending time alone watching movies on my Laptop or on Facebook. They always complain that I dont spend enough time with them. Somewhere, I too have realized it lately. Most of the times, I get annoyed for no reason at all. And I know that Alcohol has been driving me crazy in recent times. On the contrary, with my friends, I am a different personality altogether. Sometimes, I fail to understand these mood swings.

Anyway, I would now answer these questions truthfully & see where I stand now.

1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Yes
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
Yes
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
Yes
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Yes
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Yes
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Yes
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
Yes
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Yes

Finally, I have said YES to 8 out of the total 12, means I am in trouble with my drinking. I need all the help, advice & suggestions from the like minded guys so that I can get sober.
Yes, I do want to get sober & quit drinking. May GOD give me all the strength & will power to overcome this evil?

Pappy, please suggest me the next plan of action.

Waiting for your reply.
Kind Regards



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Thanks for the note Adam, I appreciate your kind words. I am absolutely determined to get rid of this evil now.



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Hey, OS. Welcome to M.I.P.

I can relate to everything you just said, especially about the blackouts. I remember blacking out on numerous occasions, and in some strange and unusual places as well. It certainly makes you wonder why I'm still alive.

I also know what it feels like to have a drinking problem. I was a heavy hitter myself for over 25 years, before I finally sobered up, so I know how terrifying this ordeal can be. The thing was: I could never stop drinking for the life of me, and that was only half the battle.

Here's the thing, though: We cant just whisk away our drinking problems like we do a dirty floor, it doesn't work that way. So my suggestion is quite simple really, just start somewhere even if that somewhere is M.I.P. It's a choice you'll never regret.

I suffered endlessly during the course of my 25+ years of drinking, but I never lost that glimmer of hope even on my worst days. I guess it was because of my sober upbringing after all.

The prospect of losing something in return was never a question either, but where to turn was. In order to turn my life completely around I needed something more powerful than a set of broken promises, which for me came via A.A.

It's also been my venue of choice for the last 12 years, thank God, but it's not the only recovery source that works. They're many other outlets that work just as well.

So I suggest you get on board with whatever recovery routine that works, and the rest you'll learn along the way. We promise

Welcome to M.I.P...






-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 03:14:31 AM

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Mr.David


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Hey O.S., ... ... ...

If you are serious about getting rid of alcohol in your life, then first you need to search 'on-line' for local AA meetings ... there should be some near you ... then get to the next meeting ... Get a copy of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) and start reading it ... when you do, you'll quickly see how closely you can identify with its contents ...

(here, we have the books available at the meetings @ cost ... I'm not sure how things are done there ...)

Spend some time here reading some older posts that address the many questions you have ... there is a lot of wisdom here ...

Once you've gone to a few meetings, I highly suggest you ask someone to be your sponsor ... a sponsor is a guide to help you work the twelve steps found in the BB ... ABOVE all ... ... ... Keep an open mind ... (the mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless its open) ...

We are here for you ... let us help!


Love you brother and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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Aloha Old Smuggler...rethink your response to No. 6 after reading your entry to the group.  It's okay because you are qualified however for me I had no wiggle room when identifying the need to get and stay sober...any reserve in favor of the disease and I wouldn't have made your cyber introduction.  Blackout..yes!!  Overdoses? yes to that also.  "I've had enough thank you" is how I respond presently to being presented a drink.  Practice that one for now as you get started into doing what we do.  Welcome to MIP.  Do you have AA meetings available to you in your area?    smile



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Thanks Pappy, Jerry & David for your kind words.


I am extremely serious about getting rid of Alcohol from my life. I did a research today over the internet & found out that AA meetings have been happening in my city as well. I would also go through the literature as suggested. So, the meeting here happens on every alternate day. I would attend the upcoming one on Sunday, the 16th June 2013 at 6pm. I would certainly keep on sharing my experiences with you all on a regular basis.


Today in the evening, while coming back from work, I got a call from the same friend asking me to stop by & share some drinks with him. Honestly, I said that I have some personal exigency at home so please excuse me, he said OK. But I believe that from next on-wards, I would say Ive had enough, thank you as Jerry has been telling his mates.
Thank you David for sharing your tale with me, believe me, it gives an immense strength when like minded people share their experiences & the way we learn from each other.


Today, after my dinner, I would go through the older posts to get answers to my questions which are somewhere stuck in my mind.


Thanks guys again for all the love & affection.



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When you are at the meeting listen to the similarities and not the differences.

We're all the same at the root, and we get here because of the same problem, but we do it in different ways.

If you look at the different ways rather than the same problem, then you'll miss the important thing - that you are one of us, one of the many, and that the relief comes from doing what the rest did.

You aren't unique and you aren't alone.

Prayers for you, my friend.

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good on ya for seeing the problem and WANTING a solution!
it may be hard, but it is wise to step away from wet places and wet faces. if I were to be around those when I got into AA, I highly doubt I would have gotten sober. it also showed me who my real friends are, which was none of the ones I was hangin with when I was drinkin.
I also couldn't help anyone whith a drinkin problem when I was drinkin. that would be like standin on a ledge ready to jump, but tellin the one next to me planning on the same thing to not do it, lifes worth livin.

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Stick with us O.S. and if tempted to have a drink, just try to recall your last 'blackout' ... just don't drink for today ... let tomorrow take care of itself ...

Pappy



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Thanks for the wishes Frodo :)


Absolutely true Pappy & Steve, thats what Im trying to do.. Avoiding wet places & faces !!


Yesterday was Friday here & was my daughters Bday .. We went out for a dinner, the Barbeque Nation restaurant did offer a complimentary 3 pints of Corona Beer with buffet dinner & I straightaway refused saying Thanks a Lot .. Believe me, saying No was never easy but I did it .. The family was happy too, we had a great time together, enjoyed the food & had loads of fun.


Wish, this strength would remain within me forever, also planning to start meditation, yoga along side.



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Hey O.S. ...

Be sure and read the first 164 pages of the AA Big Book this week ... look for the similarities in your own life ... be completely honest with yourself ... pickup a sponsor within the next few meetings and let him guide along the right path ... you don't want to do these for naught ...

It's time to begin your 'spiritual journey' ... one that will bring you 'peace and serenity' of the type you've probably never known ...

For 'Today', ... just don't drink, go to a meeting, read the book ... the pattern for a good/great life is found in the principles of recovery in AA ... you'll be amazed before you're half way through ...


Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'

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