I'm not sure if this is a healthy way of approaching the 2nd year of sobriety or not. I feel like now that I have some sort of grounding in reality, I can begin reconstruction. Now that the foggy mess of year one of sobriety is over, I can begin rebuilding a life for myself. Or, not really REbuilding, but establishing a sober life. If I think about it, there's not too much material to rebuild anything... Aside from myself, of course- physically, emotionally and mentally. I'm starting to feel like I have a bit more footing, but I dont want to get ahead of myself. I dunno. During the first year, everyone was telling me 'oh- the first year is the hardest!'... Now that I'm barely beginning year two people are now telling me 'oh, wait- the first year is nothing... The second year is the hardest!'. Hahaha- whatever, it's all just a day at a time, right?
Depending on the individual and where they are in their own personal program, things are starting to become clearer ... the phrase that comes to mind is "We will feel 'reborn'" ... we have gone through the process of getting rid of the old self and become as children, learning about the real life we skipped over some how, and then we move on toward 'maturity' in this new way of life ... it really is quite a journey ... If we have worked the program properly, then our attitude and outlook toward life itself has changed ...
We will not feel trapped like before ... and a new freedom arises from deep within ... we begin to realize all sorts of new opportunities that were closed off to us before ... life has new meaning ... and all of this of course is dependent on the maintenance of our 'spiritual condition' ... which, in time, becomes a good habit that replaced one of our old habits ...
At your current point in sobriety, you're like a baby that still needs a Mom or a Dad to guide you ... and it doesn't have to be hard unless you insist on making it difficult on yourself ... I made it hard on myself during my first year, but then realized it was just my old way of thinking trying to muscle its way back into my head ... just try and recognize the signs of your old self trying to do the same to you ... you'll be just fine this second year as long as you have us and you lean on your local recovering alkies ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Just another day? Yes, but you're starting to build your sobriety identity and sober past. Great stuff! It's like anything else in life- the more we put into it, the more we get out of it. Quality v Quantity is key for me. It's been a pleasure watching you grow during your first year and I'm looking forward to year two. Git R done!
Col - I was 'in waiting' to deal with other things in life - like alanon/adult child and codependent. This year for me has been about digging into to some of that, and I think of you often while reading the literature. If you feel ready - which might come and go because I threw a lot of fits and had to just take it easy - but if you do feel ready - it would probably be interesting for you to start looking into some of that : )
I find that I can do better amends because I have hung around on the other side of the street some.
I would get overwhelmed easily, and then just focus on AA again for a while until I felt ready again - but now it's going along pretty smoothly... and all the extra insight has been a good thing.
Just my experience - not saying you must do any of this.
Oh - and P.S.
If you check out some of the other groups on this board - especially for codependents - it's really cool to go back to the beginning and read from when the whole gang was over there. Best wishes to you!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
