I want a drink so bad. I am at the end if my rope. Do not know what to do. I am so full of fear that I can not think. I pray and pray. Today it is minute by minute to hold on. I am stuck and do not know how to fix it.
You have made it past the one year mark, today is not different except in your mind ... ... ... How did you stay sober for a whole year ??? ... ... ... You've been to enough meetings to see what happens when you take that first drink ... and you know well that it will not do anything but make your situation worse, a whole lot worse ...
Call your sponsor and a couple others in the program and go to a meeting ... get your 'thinking' back on track ... I know you've gone through some troubles lately, but not nearly like those poor people in Moore Okla yesterday ... A lot of families lost their own kids when that school collapsed during the storm ... A lot of people have problems and you're no different ... One of our good friends here on this board, last year went back out to try some more drinking ... the next morning she was found dead with a couple empty bottles with her ...
This disease is fatal ... and you have the solution laying in your lap ... now get up and find something to do, make some calls, and go to a meeting ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I want a drink so bad. I am at the end if my rope. Do not know what to do. I am so full of fear that I can not think. I pray and pray. Today it is minute by minute to hold on. I am stuck and do not know how to fix it.
X 2 to the above post. You live in a Metropolitan area with many meetings at all times of the day. Pray and move your feet. God will take over. The way you're feeling is temporary. It will pass. Don't react to the fears, let them run their coarse and continue to work The Program.
You are not any different than the rest of us ... when we pray for help, we have to sit back and listen ... your answers are there, just wake up and see what it is God is trying to tell you ...
Open your mind a little and see what is in front of you ... None of us can see the whole picture but we know we are where we are supposed to be ... acceptance is one of the keys that allows this program to work ...
You're starting to sound like you've already made your mind up to drink ... in that case, nothing we say will help ... at this point you have to help yourself ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I once had a similar conversation with God after I had been down in a motocycle accident and the response that I got was "you're no longer hurting...you're healing" I was actually talking out loud that I was so afraid that I was going into shock and the realization that my body was actually healing interrupted my mind where my fear lives. FEAR F alse E vidence (just) A ppearing R eal. Go take your mind to a meeting and let it listen to other recovering alcoholics...don't let your body drink first as a result of the BS your mind .and your. emotions are going on and on about. Ours is a "compulsion of the mind" .and. "an allergy of the body" Don't drink...don't think...go get with brothers and sisters who know how to change it. In support...Keep coming back!!
Today is Day 388 for me. Life is coming at me hard today and I want to run away. No one around to talk to. I needed to "scream" to let it out. So I came here. The moment has passed. I have calmed down. I have been down that road a drink can take you and I don't ever want to go back there! Will be running to my meeting in a few hours. Just need to make it to midnight. Thanks for listening!
