I know that this will sound bizarre to some of you, but I just had my first drinking dream. Bizarre because I know that many have drinking dreams very often early in recovery. If I have had them, I don't remember. This dream began with me in a meeting, then curling up into a big lazy- chair and half sleeping while Nobody at the meeting spoke, or shared. Then I'm in a club that I went to maybe twice in my life (wasn't all that into clubs) with a group of old friends. I'm only going to have a glass of wine- which I drink like I've been wandering the desert for a decade. The bartender offers another, I hesitate then say 'sure', and notice my friends left their drinks behind...so I have theirs, too- like a starving person. A bit disturbing, but I know this is fairly common. What's strange is that I've yet to have these types of dreams during the past year, and the meeting part was unsettling. Maybe I need to step up my game in terms of the program. Thoughts?
-- Edited by Col on Thursday 16th of May 2013 09:00:28 AM
I always ask... "Has anyone ever had a drinking dream?" while I am the speaker at a meeting... everyone nods their heads... and then I say... "Do you know that non alcoholics don't have drinking dreams? Ask a non alcoholic that and they will just look at you stupid and wonder what the heck you are talking about." I don't profess to know what they are about or where they come from but for me... they are a reminder that I am a alcoholic...
I have alcoholism... not alcoholwaism.
I was having a drinking dream many years ago... drinking in the bathroom... someone knocks on my door, so I hide the booze under the bathroom sink and just stand there real quiet hoping they will leave... it is quiet again, I get the booze out, and take another drink.. and then I get the "knock, knock, knock" again... I hide the booze under the sink again... and stand there.... and then a real loud "knock, knock, knock!"... I realize someone is REALLY knocking on my door... I get off the couch and go answer the door, and there stands my sponsor! LMAO! I get exactly what I need when I need it.
Great Topic ... ... ... Yes, I had a few drinking dreams my first year and then very few after that ... I like what John had to say about it reminding me I have 'alcoholism, not wasum' ... (LMAO at that one John ... good one)
My sponsor told me that a dream is simply 'a thought', and that unless I acted on it, I was okay ... He also said that there may be a weakness in my program, and to go to a couple extra meetings to be sure I was in the right mental attitude over the whole thing ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I have had drinking dreams as recent as a few months ago....I spent almost 40% of my 65 years of life caught in the grip and its something ingrained in my psyche.When I awaken and realize it was a dream ,like John has stated, I am once again truly aware I am alcoholic .I thank God for the beginning of another day and begin to instill the Solution,guided by God's grace,into all areas of my life to the best of my ability.These dreams are very rare for me but they do occur..I used to dream I could personally fly,that I would run but be going nowhere,that I had a small pebble in my mouth that turned into a larger and larger rock that blew my head off,and other vivid strange dreams.Fortunately most are very rare but probably always be somewhere in that "vast universe" my mind!!!!Just For Today,(its the only day I got so far)I am grateful I am only sometimes dreaming and not living the "nightmare" of active addiction....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I've heard alcoholics who've said they've never had a drinking dream - so if you're new and reading this, and you're trying to convince yourself you're not an alcoholic and thinking you can run with the idea that because you haven't had a drinking dream you're not - think again - the fact that you're trying to convince yourself that you're not is proof enough in my book.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I have only had one of these since I've stopped drinking and it was really very strange. In my dream, I drank a glass of red wine and it started pouring out of a hole in my hand, kind of like the stigmata. It was totally bizarre and I'm sure full of symbolism.
Before I stopped drinking, on the rare occasion when I would remember my dreams, alcohol nightmares were fairly common. They generally consisted of me having done something really awful while drunk and not remembering it. It was particularly terrifying because these weren't just dreams - they were part of my history and a very real consistent threat to my well-being. The line between rampant drinking and nightmares felt consistently blurred. Over the past few months, though, I've started having and remembering other vibrant dreams and I enjoy most of them very much.
Also, when I was drinking I would consistently wake up in the middle of the night feeling terrified and anxious. The past few months I have enjoyed sleeping more than I ever have before. It's deep and restful and amazing. Who knew?
-Adam
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
Great point, Tasha! Although I know and accept the fact that I'm an alcoholic, I have had that quiet little voice in my head saying "I've got this thing beat... I don't have the dreams, I don't have the strong cravings for a drink often". I realize that it is a huge mistake to think this way. It's strange that I've started to think 'wow, I'm really going to have this alcoholism my whole life'-it IS a daily battle, and it won't ever just go away. It is a 24 hour program, and it's something in me (all of us) that has to be maintained daily. I think maybe the dream was my minds, or my HPs, way of telling me that I can't ever get to thinking that I've somehow conquered this. In the dream, I remember having this sense of 'does this really count- just one slip?'. Also- yes, Pappy I have been not as vigilant about going to a meeting everyday and have been seriously procrastinating the last few really tough amends that my sponser is pushing me to finish up. I thought I had my whole life to do the amends, and she's got me on a timeline that is pretty stressful.
You may have your whole life to finish making amends, but why would anyone choose to 'draw out' the process ??? ... ... ... I feel the push my sponsor gave me to finish this step was exactly what I needed(although, not at the time) ... All I can say is, there was a 'euphoric' kind of feeling when this step was completed ... that 'ton' of garbage was simply and inexplicably gone ... ... ... It was like a door to a new life was opened and I was 'free' to walk right in ...
I don't let up on the procrastination of my sponsees to finish this step ... it CAN prohibit a person from completing our program and enjoying life the way it was meant to be enjoyed ... Don't drag your feet here, 'JUST DO IT!'
You won't be sorry ... ('Great Relief' is just around the corner)
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 17th of May 2013 07:23:49 AM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
After my last slip, I woke up on the couch in my basement, looking at the coffee table littered with empty and half empty beer bottles.
After beating myself up a little I gathered up some of the dead soldiers and started carrying them upstairs to throw in the trash.
Then it hit me: I don't have a basement! Could this all be just an incredably realistic bad dream? Thankfully, that is exactly what it was.
But - you're going to be making amends your whole life... it isn't over when you've checked everyone off this initial list... and some have to be done in God's time, not yours. I can't do all of mine right now, it wouldn't give them due justice... God will present me with the time, not my sponsor... I have faith in God - and his name isn't Terri.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
You are right Tasha, but this comes under "and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it" ... ... ... this way, our amends is not something on the back 'burner' ... ... ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I always ask... "Has anyone ever had a drinking dream?" while I am the speaker at a meeting... everyone nods their heads... and then I say... "Do you know that non alcoholics don't have drinking dreams? Ask a non alcoholic that and they will just look at you stupid and wonder what the heck you are talking about." I don't profess to know what they are about or where they come from but for me... they are a reminder that I am a alcoholic...
I have alcoholism... not alcoholwaism.
I was having a drinking dream many years ago... drinking in the bathroom... someone knocks on my door, so I hide the booze under the bathroom sink and just stand there real quiet hoping they will leave... it is quiet again, I get the booze out, and take another drink.. and then I get the "knock, knock, knock" again... I hide the booze under the sink again... and stand there.... and then a real loud "knock, knock, knock!"... I realize someone is REALLY knocking on my door... I get off the couch and go answer the door, and there stands my sponsor! LMAO! I get exactly what I need when I need it.
John
John are you a doctor? I'd be curious to know how you know what non-alcoholics dream about.
I'm 60 and I have never heard of any of my non-alcoholics friends ever say they had a drinking dream! ... though I'm sure it's been studied, ... everything else has ... LOL
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
