. . .we may surprise ourselves by discovering a treasure.

Not all secrets are bad. Some secrets are more like unspoken, unacknowledged mysteries than sinister destructive forces. We may quietly know what it is like to be a man or a woman in an intimate relationship, but we may never have told anyone in words. We may have a sense of how our lives have changed as a result of our relationship, but we may never have stopped to fully express it, even to ourselves. A piece of music may touch a place within us that does not have words. Those secrets are valuable and worth guarding like a precious treasure.

When we try to find words for these secrets, we may surprise ourselves by discovering a treasure. They may give us a sense of power or join us with others who understand us. These treasured secrets are an adventure for a couple to reveal to each other. What is the most valuable lesson you have learned about intimacy since you first met? What would you reveal to your son or daughter about the ways to gain the greatest happiness in love? How would you choose to live the last day of your life?

Select a treasured secret to tell your partner, and then try to describe it to him or her.