Recent experience with a fellow AA member reminds me just what it means to be powerless. It means to have no power, no choice, no option. Powerless over alcohol means I have no choice of my own, whether I drink, whether I control the amount, or whether I don't drink, it's all beyond my power. Lack of power. that was my dilemna!:) I was in a fight I could not win. Despite repeated attempts to control or stop all together, each ended in failure. Starting the day with the best of intentions and ending it locked up, drunk. That's powerless. The best I could manage in the end was a few days abstinence before the obsession returned and I was back to square one.

Then AA suggests a way that I can get that power. I have a window of opportunity, perhaps just a few days, to make a start before the obsession comes back as it inevitably will. I give up the fight  and instead develop a thirst for learning about the spiritual principles that will save my life. I am uncertain. It's all knew, I don't know anything about God, but I am willing and I try and the window is kept open a little longer than usual.

Hey I've just passed 90 days, how did that happen? The obsesssion hasn't returned, it feels like it's gone. Life is starting to look attractive for the first time, I no longer have to hide from people, that feeling of uselessness has gone, I get on better with my fellows, I can sleep at night, and the power to choose has come back. Not to drink, but the freedom to make choices in every area of my life, that was denied me by alcohol. And the power to help others. I find that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself.

And I think of my friend. People tell him don't drink! Like he hasn't already thought of that. He's powerless, he has no defense, like me he is beyond human aid. His only hope is to find his way onto a spiritual path, and maybe we can help him with that.

God bless,

MikeH