I'm not feeling to well today. About 2 days ago I received a call from my daughters counselling office. They hadn't heard from her in a while and were seeing she was still alive. Actually really living!!!!! It didn't hit me at the time I just thought it was casual conversation. Then yesterday a lady called me from another town asking if I had a daughter named ...... I said yes fearing the worse. She said that my daughter had caused a ruckus and done this and done that etc..... I'm glad she let me know and I spoke with my daughter about it. She's going through a bad patch at the moment and she's cutting back on her drinking as well. She's not doing it with any help or support except for us. Hopefully she'll make her way back to counselling again as it does work for her. Then last night it hit that the office was actually checking to see if she was in fact breathing still. It's bought back the feelings of how I failed her in the past. Everything's coming up again. Think it's going to be a minute at a time day today.
Stay strong Tracey, ... and talk to the Man upstairs ...
I think you'll have a better chance of communicating with your daughter if you remain a good example of someone working the program ... so you stay strong and be the person you wish your daughter to be ... she needs a hero ... it'd be great if you became that for her ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My daughter was abused by a couple of my husbands drinking buddies over a period of time. She has been in some very dark places because of this and gets very depressed. I didn't keep my baby safe.
None of us can change the past ... and the tools we have in the program help us work past the guilt ... your choices today affect the rest of your life and possibly your daughter's ... ... ... it took me a while to break through the barrier I built up between me and my son ... after a couple of years sober, my family slowly started to trust me again ...
I kept telling him how to live his life when he saw that I couldn't live my own ... when that changed, the door to communication was opened ... we now have a wonderful relationship ... and I can shut that door with just one drink ...
Your daughter will have to work out her own issues ... and she probably identifies with you and your past and it scares her ... and if you show her you can change and stay sober, then you give her the best gift you can possibly give ... and that is HOPE ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My daughter was abused by a couple of my husbands drinking buddies over a period of time. She has been in some very dark places because of this and gets very depressed. I didn't keep my baby safe.
I did not keep my oldest daughter safe as well. God decided what would happen. As Pappy says, we can not change the past.
I know Pappy and Dori. At the moment I feel I'm on the first three steps again. I can't, he can, so let him. Totally powerless over it.
My daughter has just rung up, she's still not in a good place. She's taken the day off work. We'll head into town a little earlier and spend some time with her.
It's amazing to see how very honest you are being. I just want to reassure you that what has happened is very normal for alcoholics. All of us have done or neglected to do things that we deeply regretted.
Some of my stuff had me feeling that I was the worst case ever to come to AA, and if anyone knew about me, they would kick me out.
But, through the steps, I learned that I was just the same as the others, that there was nothing new of different about anything I had done and I lost that sense of guilt and lonliness. "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". We will see how our experience can help others... Tracey, we need you and your experience. If you haven't already, you will recover and be given the power to help others:)
Thank you Mike. Most of the time I handle it all ok. It's mainly when things get her down the guilty feelings start for me. She was down when we arrived after lunch but felt better by the time we left. I spoke with her and showed her how she has choices in her life. She's not as stuck as what she thinks she is. It was good to see realisation and hope make it's way back to her.
Prayers sent for you and your daugther. Lead by example and be there for your daugther NOW... In order to be there and transmit the power of love, you'll have to pull closer to the God of your understanding. Asking that he/she remove the things which are blocking you from his/her Spirit. You must be the stable one now that your daugther will gravitate to if your house is in order.
Then let God work his magic. We are not powerful enough to change the thinking, feeling or behaving of another. But, we can inspire change and be helpful to others by carrying Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of Life.
Thanks Tasha and Mike. I feel more positive about things today. That is so true Mike. I do need to focus more on my Higher Power again. It's amazing the difference when you don't take the time to connect.
