Finally, I had to resort to the big guns, I have a friend that I've complained on these board who always has a way to get under my skin and get me to break my cycle. He usally pushes and pushes me sometimes 5 or 6 calls a day to get me to go out. Some times I can hold him off for a few days but i have always given in. I'll tell him I hate the bar scene, I hate clubs, I'm tried of hitting on girls. but the calls will keeping comming in..
So today after avoiding many many missed calles from him. I gave up. Its his birthday this weekend, and I know what that means, limo to the big city bottle serivce ( all thing he was telling me on the phone when I answered) , so I just flat out said , I don't want to go because i'm in AA and I don't want to risk to go to a bar. He responded, Well stay strong, then made an excuse to leave. Well first he asked if I was really in AA and I told him I had just finished a meeting which was true.
I feel so relived for saying something I was trying to hide it. I don't want to be walking around with a shirt on saying i'm a Alcoholic. I had that feeling of loosing a friend when the phone hung up but I really don't need that pressure from him anymore.
Great job! Yes, it was very difficult for me to cut ties with people who I considered close friends prior to getting sober. You have to make your sobriety #1 priority. Let nothing or nobody get in the way of that! It's not easy, but I think you did the right thing.
You'll find out if he was really your friend soon enough. There are millions of fish in the sea... and if you're lucky, I'll be your new friend... so there ya go. Win some - lose some... life on life's terms!
(just jokin with ya - any friend of Bill's is a friend of mine) XXX
And hey - good job on taking this serious - I'm not going to say it's about time or anything, cuz I was trying to stop for like 7 yrs before I did.
p.s.
it's about time.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Funny thing is I told him we could have lunch close to the university where he works, he wasn't interested you could tell by his voice..... yeah i guess we could do that was his answer.
We all find out who our true friends are. They are the one's who support our efforts to stay sober and some even join us. The others want us to join them I learned they weren't my friends just people who wanted me to share in their misery. Good job and it was good to have you at the meeting tonight. Keep going to meetings and make them a good habit to replace your bad habit. Soon AA and recovery will become a way of life for you and you'll be wondering why you waited so long.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Nice one. I wouldn't hAng out with someone who kept saying, "hey Steve, I'm really mad you don't want to play Russian roulette with me". For me, friends that insist that I drink are basically doing the same thing.
He actually called me agian today, asking me if i had changed my mind, I told him once agian I'm not going to a bar. Hes like well if you change your mind let me know, well he said "When you grow a pair let me know"
Maybe from now on the calls can just go to voicemail.
I agree with pappy... What you're doing takes a lot of courage and inner strength. I don't know your friend, so I will refrain from making a derogatory comment about the size of his 'pair' haha. As pappy said, a true friend- the kind you want in your life now- would be supportive and not making derogatory comments about your manhood because you Manned Up enough to get sober. THAT takes balls! Good for you
I agree :) lol , I don't know why i let it bother me i've known him for a long time I guess, like Tasha said plenty of fish in the sea. I didn't think of a true friend wouldn't do that but its true.
By you not drinking mandm, he may feel convicted about his own drinking. People seem to find it hard when we don't behave the way they want or expect us to. It gets them thinking, then the jealousies, resentments all start. Making excuses about what and why they dod what they do. Yadadada......
Thanks Tracey , thats a good point he ended up calling and nexting me a few more times after I even posted this last post, and your right taking care of me is number 1, I just woke up this sunday with no regrets and I feel great!
Well that's great - you can write that all down, how good you feel; some of the things you're grateful you DIDN'T experience as a result of drinking this weekend etc. That way - when you get the itch... and you probably will... you can look back and remember why you're doing this another day. Just one more day. No matter what, put that drinking off and stay sober just today. Get to meetings every day now for a while and give yourself a fair chance at this.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks Tasha, its funny u mention writting stuff down... I was cleaning my bedroom yesterday and i found 2 journals both at least a year apart, both where exactly the same ... " I'm writing this down beause my drinking is out of control" ... I felt really gulity not going with my buddy yesterday for his bday.. but today i was so happy i didn't go.
I always want to try an 'alternate route' - the 'scenic path' - the 'road less traveled'. I think it's cool or something - but actually... I just end up lost and frustrated a lot. Following the way that is proven to be smooth and easy... that many have traveled and can attest to being best is just not my first choice for some reason. I'm going to figure out a better way... my way... bla bla bla.
That changed when I came to AA. For the first time ever, I just did what I was told, and did what the others did to make it out alive. I'm glad I did. I can still enjoy the journey, the views, the whole scene... and I don't have to be different or unique anymore... just unique like everybody else.
90 meetings in 90 days is the proven easier path now Mandm
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
