Walked out of a meeting today

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Walked out of a meeting today

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Good for you : ) Starting to trust your gut? Sounds like a gift and your HP had a different plan for you today than a meeting. Maybe catch one tonight instead???

Philipld · MIP Old Timer

I guess the guy wanted some attention hu? :)

With ladies present?

I would have told him to kindly watch his selection of words...or otherwise step outside and wele discuss it :)

But...yup..

You did the right thing

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

We are supposed to limit our discussions to topics dealing with alcohol use or abuse ... personal hygiene is a subject better discussed 'one-on-one' with a sponsor ... WOW, all I can say is my 'personal hygiene' suffered terribly when I was drinking ... and I don't consider it a topic worth discussing in the group ...

I believe an old timer should have stepped in and straightened this whole issue out before it went too far ... unless there is more to it than you have shared here, I would have either goteen the meeting on track or probably have left myself ... depends on who was there that superseded my sobriety time ... and of course 'group membership' time ...

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Such a good point, Tasha. I had a little visit with my nephew instead, which was delightful as always :) Yeah, I wonder what happened after I left. A number of people walked out around the time I did and some of them were planning on going back in. There were no newcomers present, thank goodness. That would drive one away I am pretty sure!

PhotoPhreak · Senior Member

Um, what does 'personal hygiene' have to do with being sober? Quite odd

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Yea,

For sure kind a wierd topic to bring up. I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I think Pappy is thinking in the right direction.

I would have been thinking about how to hijack the meeting and steer it back into a meaningful direction, it would take some creativity.

Hey, sometimes we really just need to see if we can "intuitively handle situations that used to baffle us". smile confuse People need a meeting and the Sr people in the group need to try and be of service in this kind of situation. IME

Col · Senior Member

That's a bit strange! Sounds like he got way off track. There's a guy who has 20+ years of sobriety who went to a meeting I used to attend daily. I have a ton of respect for this guy- he was homeless during his drinking days. Every once in a while he would mention that when he first came to AA it was through the court system... They cleaned him up, deloused him and all that. He would go to meetings thinking he was hot s*#^, scoping out the ladies because he now showered daily. He says this jokingly, and I think more of as a message to the other men (many of whom are in similar mind sets at this particular meeting) to focus on sobriety- not ego or hitting on women. I loved him for it as I was sitting there being leered at by men who just had their first shower in quite some time, and thought they should put their energies into the only girl in the room haha.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Why walk out of an entire meeting because of one guy's share?

Seems like a better solution is take a walk for 3 minutes, then come back to the meeting.

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Tanin wrote:
Why walk out of an entire meeting because of one guy's share?
Seems like a better solution is take a walk for 3 minutes, then come back to the meeting.

Some people were going back in. I felt totally uncomfortable after that, like I didn't want to share in front of this guy.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Makes sense to me RubyT ... ... ... if the condition comes about that prohibits your personal 'progress' ... get away, go to a place that does ...

Sports dude · Veteran Member

Conscious decision is made to accept the topic or not stay for the whole meeting, I have never left a meeting where I didn't retain something from it

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

I might have walked too. The subject is totally inappropriate and one has to ask where was the chair or group conscience on this.

While it's fine to say someone should stay and see if anything good comes out of the meeting, the fact is that performances of this nature are very off putting. If it upset you Ruby, how would somone completely new take it. They might wonder, with some justification, what on earth they had walked into. Allowing this kind of stuff, which can alienate the newcomer, is a very poor way of upholding the 5th tradition, IMHO.

God bless,
MikeH.

Senior Member

I've been tempted to walk out of meetings a number of times, so I can't say I blame you.

I've always stuck around, though, and tried to steer the discussion back to AA principles. You have to be willing to be confrontational, however, and I know that's not everybody's cup of tea. But this alkie likes an occasional brawl, lol.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Seems like it's always and accept or change situation.

Here's a conversation amongst some AAs which ovelaps much of what is being said above. Some interesting comments. I like what Layne and ann2 said.

I think its rude !

http://www.e-aa.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=8021

If an AA member shares off topic for 3 minutes, is that rude?

If an AA member walks out of a meeting, is that rude?

If an AA member interjects some guidance during a share is that rude?

If an AA member who is chairing a meeting fails to guide the sharing properly, is that rude?

If an AA member fails to follow the patience and tolerance is our code principle, is that rude?

Well, it seems to depend.

I think that walking out is within a reasonable range of behavior. Staying put is also within that range.

But there are costs and benefits to each choice. There's probably no absolutely correct answer.

I wonder what the Master would do?

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

walking out of a meeting doesn't necessarily mean anything. It might mean that the person has to get back to work, pick up the kids.

Frodo · MIP Old Timer

I remember hearing or seeing something a while back that went along the lines of "If you haven't been to an AA meeting that you wanted to walk out on, then you haven't been to enough meetings".

I guess it was just a way of saying that there are sick people in the rooms, and sometimes lines will be crossed. I don't think that we need extend our tolerance to masochism - if it isn't working for you then I don't see how you should have to suffer discomfort and / or embarrassment, would be my thoughts on things.