Welcome back - welcome home : ) Glad to have you, there is some excellent sobriety on this site - and sometimes I wonder if I would or could make it without it. I don't think so. We are exactly where we are suppose to be... glad you're here!
-- Edited by justadrunk on Tuesday 23rd of April 2013 03:53:57 PM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Hi, off booze 5 weeks (again) been relasping on and off since last Sept. Infact i have been relasping for 20 years. Get long periods off the drink, longest 2 years, but since then been 7 months her 2 there. I return because the obsession returns and i fight it for days then give in. The whole thing starts again, or i wonder to myself has it never really stopped. I have God in my life and go to church. I have been going to aa for a long time and just feel like a loser now. The doors of aa are getting narrower as pride and shame is starting to stop me walking in to all the sober people, many of whom i have lead to aa. It is a nightmare. Been to addiction team today and she suggested to try online aa, please dont shout at me, as i beat my self up enough. I dont know how many rock bottoms i have to have, any person in their right mind would give in by now, what is wrong with me, why!
Even health issues have not stopped me, eg stroke, and now have Barrets ephosegus. Is anyone else like me, am i the only one who can not stay on the wagon. It really is like pllaying russian rulett with my ephosgus, just waiting for the massive bleed to end it all. When i go to off sales i should just ask for bottle of vodka and ambulance or police, as thats how it ends up each time. And no im not having the poor me s, just saying lhow it is, thanks Bridgit.
Welcome Bridgit, ... ... ... glad to have you with us ... It took me fifteen years in and out of AA to finally stick around too ... ... ... sorry to hear of your health problems, I will pray for you to have the strength to stay off the bottle and hopefully gain your health back ...
There are so many things that could be said here, but I'll reserve 'in dept' comments for later, until we know more about you ... I suggest you do some 'searches' here under different topics that apply to you ... you'll be amazed (and hopefully encouraged) at some of the discussions we get into here ... go back and check out some of our older posts ...
If there is a certain person or persons that strike you in a positive way, you can even search their particular posts ... go to 'search' and type in the persons name or topic and off you go ...
There is also a PM system here ... (Private Messaging) ... to speak with someone without sharing to the whole world (board) ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good job Philip, ... I like your attitude ... ... ... you should be way down on the downhill side of 'detox' by now ... great job on 36 days ... keep coming back, it works if you work it .... it won't if you don't!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome Bridget! No you are not a loser - I have encountered MANY in AA who struggled for up to 10, 15, or 20 years before finally putting together lengthier spans of sobriety. This site has always been a great supplement to my AA program. For me, it can't take the place of face to face meetings. Isolation and shame are part of my alcoholism so I need to get out to those meetings and confront those issues with feeling less than others in the program because that is in my head.
That being said, I have gotten more direct, immediate, and diverse feedback on this site than anywhere. There is hope. All of us are chronic relapsers by nature and have sworn off alcohol many times to find that we just went back to drinking. Some of us did this all before going to AA and some after (and all variations in between). It takes what it takes. You can do this!
From what I have heard and seen in AA regarding relapse, it's not that AA doesn't work, it's that people just stop doing AA or don't fully commit/surrender to it.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
You could be telling my story as I have relapsed several times and have had some years of sobriety. I am back in treatment hopefully the last time. Hang in there...your doing great. I have only eleven days now and I know how you feel to start again but it's better than not...is the only way I can think anyway. Pauliene
