Had a horrible experience this evening when going out with some coworkers that I feel compelled to share. I had my usual ginger ale which this particular restaurant serves in a large glass, similar to what they serve their pints of beer in. I had my first soda without incident and the server asked if I would like another. Sure. A different server brought it back to me. I took a sip through the straw (which was a regular clear soda straw) and just about threw up right there at the table. I immediately set the glass down and said "that tastes disgusting". Out of the 6 other people at the table, only one of them knows that I am in recovery, she is a good friend of mine and was sitting directly across from me and immediately grabbed my glass and said "that is a 7 and 7". At that point, a guy at the table next to us asked if I was supposed to have had a ginger ale....he had the exact same style of glass but with 2 skinny black cocktail type straws....
I was horrified. One of my other coworkers is a former server herself and started getting really angry, stating that was a huge mistake and that I needed to complain..."What if you were allergic to alcohol? What if you were on medication? What if you were a recovering alcoholic?"...little did she know. I also brought up the fact that I could have been an 8 year old kid that they were giving their first drink to. I was so pissed, I went up to the bar and the owner (who is also a client of mine...) came up to me all happy, asking how everything was. I decided to out myself and told him to get the bartender. I told them both what happened and told my client that I am a recovering alcoholic. They both went white and were stepping over themselves to make excuses. I told them there was no excuse, it was a blatant oversite in mixing up the type of straws to indicate booze.
I will never return there, and it will be pretty uncomfortable when he comes in to my place of business for awhile, but I dont care, I am very glad I spoke up. I thank God that I am in a strong enough place that I did not make a snap decision to continue drinking...it was in a soda glass, I could have gotten away with it and throw away years of sobriety. If this happened to a newcomer....damn. Or if they did give it to a little kid! The kid wouldn't have understood and drank the whole thing. I am going to have a hard time trusting even ordering a soda now in any restaurant with a liquor license from now on. Water only. Better for the waistline I suppose, but it really really upset me. Please be very careful out there.....
You started the post with "Accidentally"...it wasn't an assasination attempt. We learn over time in recovery to have compassion and empathy and to give grace and mercy. We learn not to take hostages like before entering the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Happy for you that your boundary was up and that you didn't feel inquisitive that maybe you could have "just one" .... YAY!! Marvelous that you were around so many caring friends who were available to support. ((((hugs))))
1st of all, Welcome to MIP, ... glad you found us ...
Now, you started off saying this incident was 'accidental', but then I saw where disgust and anger took over for what is described as a 'mistake' ... none of us are perfect and I think some consideration is due to the bar tender/server, because it did not sound intentional ... ... ...
We learn quickly here in AA to cleanup our own side of the street and at the same time to forgive others when the occasion arises ...
Anger is one of my number one enemies, it is very dangerous for me to get angry anymore ... it leads to a great desire to drink for me ... so I have in place, the AA program which helps me to accept and forgive in situations as you just described ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Accidents happen. I've yet to meet anyone who hasn't made a mistake at work. Most of my problems spring from not what happens, but my reaction to what happens. When I start venturing into the 'what ifs', that means I'm venturing down the wrong path. Most times I find its best just to correct the mistake and move on.
Great share and good work doing the right thing! That would throw me too...I'm not sure I would have enough gumption to complain in a constructive way like you did but it should be done so others done have this happen to them.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
In the light of day, things are much calmer. I do realize it was just a mistake on the bartender's part and the world did not end. There was no intention in anything that happened. I probably should add that I in no way made a scene in the restaurant at all. My meekness (which I sometimes think of as a character defect at times) was actually a Godsend last night because there were no raised voices, no waiving of hands in the air, though I was firm in the heat of the moment(firm for me anyway..lol). I won't be picketing the restaurant or anything like that. Hopefully just a lesson learned all around.
The funny thing is...I JUST shared this week in my home group that my sobriety has brought me the gift of not immediately reacting, and that "sleeping on it" before reacting to any challenging situation is very helpful for me. LOL. Had I just slept on this last night, I probably wouldn't have even posted this. Ah well, progress not perfection. And the good thing is, it did bring me to this group.
Glad you got on the other side of that mistake and are learning something from it. No one is perfect, and its our own responsibility to protect our own sobriety and recovery. When I'm out, as a drink is being placed in front of me, I simply ask... "what is that?" or "What drink did I order?" This gives the wait staff a chance to confirm they are handing me the right drink.
I had a similar experience at about 2 years sober. We out to play pool with a few guys after work, it was loud so I told the waitress shouting in her ear that I wanted a plain tonic w/ twist of lime. She brought me a Gin and tonic, it must have been pretty strong. I took a sip it tasted strange but familiar, I felt the burn as the liqiud when down my throat.
It seemed like the next 10 seconds was about a hour long.....100 thoughts, fears instantly rushed through my head that had been gone for so long, insanity returned for a instant and I thought about finishing the drink, then sanity came back and I returned the drink.
I always saw this as a message from God, I was being a careless.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I have no idea what a 7&7 is.....but a diffrent coloured straw isn't enough for me to be sure. So in a restaurant the only thing I'll be served is a jug of tap water with ice, lime and lemon.
We don't get cocktails in jugs over here, or at least not in the places I get to.
If I want a soft drink, I go to the bar to gget it so I can see it made. My friends sometimes think I'm being fussy. Well I am.
I remember early on being on a train to london, first class, being served what I thought was orange juice in tge restaurant car. It was bucks fizz (at seven am!)
The first sip I knew there was summat wrong....it was fizzy!... I dribbled it back into the glass and rang someone. After a little reassurance (you didn't mean to drink it, , you didn't swallow it etc) I sent it back, asking the waiter if it was policy to serve alcohol unannounced. Turns out that it was!
This disturbed mr all day.
At six o'clock that day (I was at an all managers meeting....there was three hundred of us) waiters came round with exciting tall glssses with a pale red drink with ice and mint leaves are started to put these down, one each. So I asked what's this.
Tom collins they said, a cocktail, so I said no thanks, , I'd like a glass of water. No no no they said, your director ordered these and a glass of water won't look right.
I wad angry at this and said I didn't give a flying f... how it looked .(not a nice reaction) my immediate boss was sitting to my left and laying his hand on my shoulder, he took over. We'll have two glasses of cranberry juice he said, and bring a new carton of ocean spray to the table and pour it in front of us.
So I learned a way of dealing with this sort of thing calmly, politely and rationally.
We had our cranberry juice and no on on any other table noticed the difference.
I later talked to the director and asked her about the tom collins....she said she knew the team liked a drink and she liked the look of nearly 300 of her people all enjoying the same cocktail and it signalled the end of business for the day. (It's against company policy to drink alcohol during working hours)
A year later at her leaving do, , that's when I explained the dangers of assumption. She was shocked and hurt that as she put it, she could've poisoned me.
So I reckon I was served that bucks fizz for a reason.
I reckon you were served that 7&7 for a reason too.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I just had to say that this brought back memories for me ... ... ... Just the mention of 7 & 7 ... ... ... that was my 2nd drunk ... I was 20, went to a barbecue where I was first exposed to the public drinking scene ... they said go in and make your own drink ... I asked how? ... they said to just put some Seagrams 7 in some 7-Up on ice ... ... ... they didn't coach me on how much of which ... So, I just mixed half 'n half in a 16 oz. glass ...
I missed the whole barbecue, woke up at home and asked how I got there ... ... ... Wife said she had to get the guys to load me in the car and she had a hell-of-a time getting me into the house trailer ... THAT was my 2nd drink ever ... ... ... and I missed it, the party, everything ... ... LOL ... Oh, I left out the part where my wife told me about 'throwing up' everywhere ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
