Yes, I know the group meetings can get a little frustrating at times.
You could have put the issue to bed if you or the other lady volunteered to be responsible for the end of month cake, at that point you can determine whether you get the cake from Publix, Kroger or the young lady who wants to bake it. Everyone can get back to the primary purpose.
I know the stuff seems petty, but if we care about our group and carrying the message, we need to care about being part of the solution.
I always like Big Book study groups, but I always secretly thought they had a "marketing" problem. Need to find a different title, for some reason the terms "Book" and "study" don't seem to appeal to a lot of alcoholics
-- Edited by Rob84 on Friday 12th of April 2013 12:54:37 AM
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Okay, tonight after our regular meeting, which was very good I might add, we had our 'group conscience' meeting ... ... ... it started off okay ... old business was quick to get out of the way and new business was brought to the floor ... this included a discussion on 'birthday eating meetings' ... (we typically have only 4 'eating meetings' per year) ... 8 women and 7 men were in attendance ... it was decided that due to the additional costs and the past lack of 'help to setup and then cleanup' during such events, we would Not have an eating meeting every month, but keep the same pattern of 4 per year ... (the women wanted an 'eating meeting' for every end of the month) ...
Then we had a new proposal to add a 'breakout' meeting one day of the week (book study, step study, or something other than the 'discussion' meeting of the main group) ... (this had been done years before, but without a dedicated person to lead such meetings, interest died out) ... ... ... I suggested that since our 'life-blood' consisted of getting and keeping 'newcomers', perhaps we could have a breakout meeting centered on persons with less than a year sober ... that was well received but lost out to book study ... oh well ... ... ...
I am really not sure what happened next ... one of the ladies said she needed to discuss a recent problem regarding a person (about a year sober) who had been upset or got her feelings hurt and it was directed to one of our senior members (22 years sober)(who was in this meeting) ... she said it wasn't appropriate to discuss this during a meeting and that there had been some gossip going around regarding the issue ... (this happen while I was away visiting my son evidently) ... the lady laid blame on the senior member in attendance, and my thought was that the 'group conscience' meeting isn't the place for this either ... this should be between all persons involved in whatever or wherever it was the problem came from ...
SO, it seems that we had a younger member who volunteered to make our end of month 'birthday cakes' for our birthday meetings ... somehow an issue arose concerning the fact that this young lady was not a member of our group ... big ef'ing deal ... (she wanted to do a service for our group) ... Okay, ... MAYBE I WAS WRONG! ... but I turned around and asked out loud ... is this whole thing about 'birthday cake' ??? ... to which the guy next to me said, 'I'm afraid so' ...
Maybe I was wrong, BUT I got up and said, while leaving .... "SORRY People, but I got better things to do!" ... and I left! ... ... ... I've never been discourteous like that before ... but I just couldn't stand the thought of a bunch of adults sitting there talking like they were upset school children ... ... ... over 'Birthday cake' no less ...
Are we really that sick???
signed,
"I can't believe it!!!" (Pappy)
P.S. ... ... ... maybe I'm having my 'period' or somethin' ... ... ... I just refused to participate in something so frivilous ... they should just go make amends to each other regardless of who's right or wrong and get over it ... well, okay ... maybe I'm a little selfish too ... this one girl in question? ... she make a damn good cake ... and I happen to love cake!!! (especially the ones she makes ...)
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Our last group conscience spent well over an hour trying to define how to determine and/ or define who is a group member, if one can have more than one home group, and some other crazy stuff related to " voting rights" of a home group member. My life has been an emotional roller coaster over the past six weeks, and while I really, really tried to stay and listen and participate, it got to the point where I knew if I said something, it wasn't going to be in a constructive or positive way. I excused myself and left. They continued on, and managed to get along just fine without me. Go figure. This whole discussion got started in a similar manner, trying to figure out to what degree a person who does not define themselves as a home group member can or cannot participate and serve the group. I still don't think they ever came to a consensus. Sometimes for me, I find it best to leave a situation before what I'm thinking comes out of my mouth..... Less amends I have to make that way. (((( hugs ))))
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
I agree with you both here Nezyb and Rob, ... ... ...
Nezyb said: "Sometimes for me, I find it best to leave a situation before what I'm thinking comes out of my mouth..... Less amends I have to make that way. "
Apparently some gossip of one form or another got started and 'blossomed' into something ugly ... being gone during this period, I had no idea what we were discussing last night for about 10 minutes ... ... ... this one lady was really upset ... when it became obvious this whole thing was about cake and I had just sat through a regular meeting and was now 40 minutes into the 'group conscience' meeting, I guess my patience was wearing thin ... ... ... and like Nezyb said, I've learned to make myself absent before my mouth wakes up and starts saying things that I will later regret ... If there is anyone that was offended by my leaving, I'll deal with that when the time comes, and quickly put it to bed ...
All I know is the 'old timer' (22 years sober) has been the one to go to Publix and get the BD cakes in the past (for years, in fact) ... maybe he had felt he was getting pushed aside, I don't know ... I just couldn't stand the thought that we had been dragged into this minor controversy on something as silly as 'cake' ... ... ... I DO care about my home group, however, I could not see myself being a part of the solution for which I did not have a complete picture of the problem ... AND I didn't feel the group conscience meeting was the place to discuss what seemed to me to be a personal problem between 2,3, or 4 people ... It look like the perfect example of 'making a mountain out of a mole hill' ... ... ...
I am more 'disappointed' than anything else ... Guess I was expecting more out a bunch of grown women and men ... cake just doesn't seem important to our sobriety ... I know, I know, it's a lot more than that, but it just doesn't have to be ...
I'm not mad nor upset and I'll keep going to my meetings of course ... ya'll know me ... I'll make something funny out of the whole thing and hope everyone doesn't take me so seriously ... LOL
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I guess I didn't understand the whole situation either. I agree that the group meeting is not the place for issues like this.
The guy w/ 22 years should be above all this. I feel that those with long term sobriety are there to set a good example of service work, but our main goal is to get newer people involved and help guide the group.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Well who is God anyway? Does he know what's really best? Okay, then you did as you were suppose to, and so did they. And me personally? If I walk out - which I did do one time - and someone has hurt feelings, that's on them. They are responsible for their own feelings, and what they think of you is none of your business right? And what you think of them is none of theirs.
I liked Tom's air horn idea too though. I dunno - it's a toss up between letting God be right and the air horn for me ; )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Ya know? ... ... ... if i'd have had one of those damn things (air horn) last night, I just might have used it ... LOL ... my luck, one of the old ladies would have had a heart attack and I'd have to have given her mouth-to-mouth ... HeeHee ... ... ... uh, ... ... ... ya know, that really ain't funny ... ... ... actually, it would probably been the old man sitting beside me ...
Like I said earlier, I REALLY had to get my mouth out of the room ... I could feel something bubbling up inside ... and you're right Tasha, on the way home the thought did hit me, if they think less of me for my action, then that 's their problem, cause what they think of me IS none of my business ... but I just could not just sit there and be party to spreading this whole mess farther than it had already grown ... I did not have a need to know any more about the subject, nor was I about to VOTE on something that might affect someone else negatively ... well, not without 'just' cause ... ... ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
(((( hugs ))))