First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who along the way has been so helpful and given me your wisdom in the past years. It has given me the tools to cope with this dreadful disease.
It has now come to pass that although, I thought with the passing of my ex.AH that so much misery, heartache, ect. that was dealt with because of his problem was behind me. I am currently coping with it all over due to my beautiful daughter's problem. She took her father's death alot harder than anyone suspected and began to walk down that path towards the same life he had. At first I really thought it was a phase and dismissed the possibility. After the New Year however, it was becoming clearer. I kept my thoughts to myself. It didn't go away and eventually I was approached by another very very close to her. I was made aware of the fact that not only did her husband try to talk to her so had this person. They were both increasingly becoming alarmed. To no avail did either have an effect at the time. The drinking had become a daily thing after work to the point of staggering and slurring of words. Trips with can in hand to the cemetary to talk to her father were routine as well.
I finally got the chance to talk to her. It was not in anger!!! Rather asking and pointing out the things that might help. (Note: I am stronger and wiser after having been down this path before and I've learned to cope and control feelings. I also know that it is HER choice to get help.) It was quite a talk and I listened carefully to what she had to say. Above all else, spoken was the fact she was NOT responsible for her father's death! She is however responsible for her choices. I pointed out this site told her about my involvement with AA/Al-ANON and all they have done for me, ect., ect. She admitted she had a problem yet admitted she didn't 'think' she could quit.
To make a long story short, I dropped the subject and said little more to her. She came to me one night. She had already been drinking. She sat quietly pulling a card from her pocket. She had willingly signed up/entered a rehab. home. We talked extensively. I know this was not easy for her to face.
She has been 'in house' for a week now. I've recieved 2 calls from her in which she told me all she has been going through. By the grace of God....... I know this isn't a cure. I know the choices she'll have to make if she wants to recover. I know outside of that place there will be times of temptation (for lack of a better word) I know I cannot not choose for her and have to allow her her own choices.
I love her and she knows this!!! It is the most often said words from my mouth to her! As any parent, I want the best in this life for her. I can ONLY hope that the dear Lord is showing her the right path as she goes through this program, that she will grasp it totally and utilize it after she leaves. I'm cautious with hope, yet a glimmer is promising.
Please keep her in your prayers as I do you all!
Respectfully,
Learning
-- Edited by learning on Sunday 7th of April 2013 08:27:43 AM
You certainly have my prayers for your daughter ... ... ... if it doesn't pose a problem, I do better praying for someone whom I can put a 'name' to ... would appreciate a first name if you can ...
May God watch over you both during these times, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I didn't think I could quit either...Fear of living without alcohol set me back more than anything. When I was beaten down enough that a brother paid my way for a rehab...The Big Book was the one thing they gave me...That gave me hope. If she doesn't have one...See if you can get her one. Sending prayers for you, your daughter...And all who love her.
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Thank you all so much!! I, her husband and 2 boys went to see her today. I had to miss the counseling/video session because the littlest one is active. He 21mos. Was told later it was a video my daughter had missed a few days ago. After that we were allowed into another sort of 'break room' where we go in some visit time. She seems to be 'coping' although admitted to still have cravings horriblely. She is workin' it though, that is the good news. She managed no tears and neither did I! So I know we are moving in the right direction. I sat there and looked around the room. Families so similar to ours. No barriers of money, race, creed, or even age to separate....just families effected by this disease!!! All wanting to be whole again. All wanting their loved ones sober/addiction free. In my mind silent prayers going up! It is the one thing I do know that I can do for everyone concerned. A day at a time....a step at a time.....By the grace of God.....!!!
