I remember finally getting someone to take my child to school. And I remember them bringing her home with a bag of easy-to-fix groceries. Apaprently she let it slip that she hadn't eaten for two days because mommy was sick and there was no food in the house. I remember nothing else of day five in the sequence of events, other than I could keep some water down and some crackers and I think I might have taken a shower, tho that might have been the next day. I remember throwing out the empty bottles. I remember wondering who cleaned up the mess on the bathroom floor from two days ago and that the only one there besides me was my 9 year old...and I didn't clean the stuff off the floor.
I have found that a lucid exact memory is so very useful to my getting and staying sober. I sit by you and listen to your memory and put it up next to mine and in both I can see and hear my HP. American Samoa November 1974 laying on the floor with just a heartbeat and a beath and before the comforting darkness came I remember one thought I had never had before..."did I have that one ounce too much"? I remember the impression of the darkened room laying on it's side and then nothing until the pain started ripping thru the remainder of another overdose and I had to vomit somewhere no one would fall on it so on elbows and belly I made a journey like I've never made since. I could manage lifting my head the 4 or so inches so that I could vomit in the shower stall and what came forth was booze and blood. The neat alcohol...no water chaser, no ice, no glass was all I had consumed for a meal and I knew one thing...if...no when I made it to daylight I would have another belief that I was impervious...alcohol would not win. I would not be alcohol free for another 5 years and I would never overdose like that again. HP works in mysterious ways and processed my life thru the fires of hell until I just would not drink again. Thanks sooo much for sharing your recovery with this alcoholic. It's a blessing. ((((hugs))))
