Cool Joby - great message of gratitude. I know that working the steps can help with that guilt. I sometimes am sad about what my children had to go through, but it's different now. All in all, they will see that change is possible and there is hope in this world. They are enjoying the tools they are learning from me - and I keep that 'let it begin with me' principle in my pocket at all times... because I want to push things otherwise, instead of just being an example of what I want to say, or what I want people to learn from me or whatever. When they pick up on things and I see that my example has impacted their choices in life, it's the most amazing gift ever. I love this program, and I'm so glad you're on the path and sharing about it... best wishes.

 

 

 

Blessing Joby...you're on your way and still reaching out for help.  That is how it worked for me...to keep working at my recovery following the suggestions of my sponsor and others and living the steps.  I suffered guilt for the things that I had done and had to admit that first I am alcoholic and second that the disease manifested itself in my life and onto the lives of others I was in contact with.  Guilt is and was a great motivator for me to make things right and not just stop at feeling bad about the past.  My amends to my family and children is onl going as they find the father and person that wasn't there ever in the first place and left crashes and rubble everywhere he went whether they were there or not.  My second eldest son brought up the subject of how he sometimes felt and then reacted to those feelings which were manifested in his life as a son of an alcoholic father.  I was driving at that time and pullled off the side of the road and turned off the engine of the car which surprised him.  I told him that I was expecting him to stop putting it off and denying it was "that bad" cause it was horrible.  I told him I would listen and that he had complete freedom to express as he needed...that I wouldn't deny myself, get out and run or try to talk over him with justifications.  He went for it...lock stock and barrell and when he was done I verified with him that I too would also feel the same way given the same circumstances and that at the time we were going thru that phase of progression I had no idea what was going on or that it had anything to do with alcohol or my drinking.  I apologized for my entire part and agreed with him that many of the ways he saw what was happening and felt about them were normal and real.  When we were done I told him that if he realized that there were complaints missing that he had forgotten and would in the future want to discuss with me I would put off anything I was doing to take care of it with him.  There have been such times which were not "blame games" on his part only questions about what happened, how it happened and how did I handle it.  Guilt was only debilitating when I tried to handle it on my own which has been rarely.   Keep coming back you're doing good and so is he it seems.   

One of the great things about AA is experience shared. My son is now 26 years old. For the past 24 years I have remained sober, working the steps to the best of my ability. He is now my best friend, business partner and recently got involved with me in helping others through the AACA fellowship. Tonight my wife, myself and my son would attend the Umbilo groups of AA, Alanon and AACA. God has worked in through me and my family, to give us the best life we could ever imagine.
It started with me attending AA meetings and keeping sober.