I've been with Al-anon for about 3yrs Ruby. It's really helped me handle my husbands drinking and other members of my family. My father in law, grandfather, mother, uncles, aunts, cousins, daughter are all drinkers or pot smokers. I'm surrounded by it. In the end I hit my bottom and al-anon helped me back up again.
I'm waiting for Jerry F to respond. That is someone with like 30 plus years of active alanon. He knows it inside and out and he would be the person I'd talk to about alanon. He was a big help to me in learning about AFG (alanon family groups).
I have found alanon useful and it's mostly to do with how I cannot control others and with my boundaries. Also, I was affected by an alcohol feuled environment and my own alcoholism got way worse cuz I was in a relationship with another alcoholic for 7 years prior to coming into the program. I had to work AA to get sober first as a priority, but alanon does help me and it also keeps it very green for me to hear about how people's qualifiers treat them and the descriptions of what it's like to live with an addict alcoholic (active) just strengthens my resolve to stay sober and to never be the one to hurt others like that again.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Monday 1st of April 2013 06:43:45 PM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
As I've grown in AA, I have come to see that my husband and I were perfect for each other: equally sick that is.
If he wouldn't have gotten into the program of alanon 6 months ago, I'm sure at this point, It would be almost impossible for me to live with him.
The part I'm grateful for is that he's taken to the program like a duck to water.
A few nights ago, I was having a fearful go of it. I was sharing with my husband, that it's a bit scary for me that he would give up on the program, or walk away from it, and I wouldn't be able to handle being with him. He just said "that's because you don't have an alanon program." I said - I suppose it's like you having fear that I would start drinking and relapse. He said - "lets just stay in today".
It was amazing to be able to share my fears with him. That I could get appropriate feedback and screw my head back on straight. We both were able to include a conscious contact with God at that point - which is where I hope to go first with all my fears, but sometimes I still don't - and sharing about it honestly, with someone who understands, is pretty freakin incredible!
It takes away the powers of the fears - and it takes away what's blocking me from the sun.
What do I personally think of Alanon? At first when I went to the meetings, I thought it was nothing but whining and complaining. Then I realized these people had a lot to whine and complain about - and wow - how amazing they have a place to do it. Finally it stung less, and I could take it for what it was - just like AA. People's shares in AA aren't always perfect message of recovery either. But that's why this program works. All the stages and levels of recovery - that we may never forget why we are here.
Now I use the words I hear to better myself, to make better amends from the other perspective, to break barriers and see people for just that, to keep me right sized, to overcome fear and find love for all and for myself.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Great subject and tread! I've been to Alanon myself. As Pinkchip stated, I found it useful to see taking care of myself, setting limits/boundaries and letting go of control from a different angle. I'm an Adult Child of An Alcoholic, so I qualify for the Alanon program as well. It was/still is beneficial to me.
Tasha, it's great your husband has embraced the Alanon program. My wife didn't and that lead to our divorce. I could no longer live with her and her behavoir. She was unwilling to admit there was a problem and change. Sound familiar? Working with my HP, AA and Alanon gave me the direction, strength and courage to do the next right thing and stop settling for less. I'm grateful today for my HP and the two program for the life I have today. No regrets here!
I've been to Alanon as well. A great guy in AA told me all AA members should consider it because if we stay in the AA program, attend meetings and work our 12th step continually, then we will always have alcoholics as part of our lives. It's an interesting to me to think about it in that way. I found Alanon to be a great program and though scheduling conflicts prevent me from attending the meeting here regularly, I have their book and find it to be a good resource.
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Working with my HP, AA and Alanon gave me the direction, strength and courage to do the next right thing and stop settling for less. I'm grateful today for my HP and the two program for the life I have today. No regrets here! 