I'm really sick of the mental engery that is wasted with drinking. Why is it when I wake up at 3 in the morning I actually think to myself oh liqure store opens in a few hours.
I try to think about other stuff but its the first natural thought that come to my mind most days, Its really amazing how much I think about it all the time.
i was wondering how others cope to supress these thoughts?
It's just a thought. Don't let it torture you. Thoughts can flow out of your head as quick as they float in. I found myself standing in front of the wine at the convenience store several times just out of habit when I would go in there for coffee or cigarettes. I was really annoying. And when I quit smoking, the thought of smoking popped into my head incessantly for like a month. This is part of getting sober....but those are just thoughts and no thought can make you drink.
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Your right they are just thoughts, but its all the time. I threw out glasses even my favorite whiskey rockers so It would help me not think about it every time I was in the kitchen. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up with it so much. I just find my mind starts to drift and i'm thinking about it agian.
Having the thoughts forever is not part of being sober typically - though even folks with decades of sobriety do talk about having an occassional drunk dream or nutty thought about drinking. For the most part, through working the program, the obsession is lifted and the thoughts do go away like Tanin said.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
yeah, i gotta remove my outside influences , my friend actually said to me I was acting like a little girl for not wanting to come out and party with him tonight.
In our addiction we practiced a habit habitually and the thought process is a part of it. Follow thru with replacing them with other recovery thoughts and you will have a different outcome. This program is about re-programming. Make sure to have literature handy...the big book and as Bill Sees It and Living Sober and the like...flood your thinking with recovery literature. Keep coming back...this condition is temporary.
The thought of it still pops in my head at times, especially when something really upsets me. Usually though within a few seconds it disappears thankfully. Main thing is not to act on it, focus on something else. The full version of the Serenity Prayer helps my head.
MandM, I clung to thinking that going out "partying" was normal behavior for so many years. Responsible adults who have their crap together don't "party" for no reason. They engage in enjoyable relaxing activities but pointless, reckless "partying" is for high school and college kids. For some reason, us alcoholics never moved on from that stage. Your friends is the one acting like a little girl/boy in that it's behavior that is reminiscent of being a teenager. It's hard to let that really sink in but if you want a job, a family, a career, a real future, a healthy body, giving up childish "partying' is a no-brainer.
Besides the "party" is not really a party. Often it's just a sad rinse and repeat of the same stupid thing we've all done a million times. My response to that eventually became "I'm all partied out" or "I partied (drank)enough to last a life time." I had no desire to go to clubs for a good while. My life was all about AA for about 2 years and when I eventually went back to a bar, the obsession to drink was gone and all of the sudden I was there at the bar and looking at what was really going on - 80 percent of people were just socializing. Many were not drinking at all. Others had 1 or 2 drinks. Then 20 percent were acting all stupid and having drink after drink like I used to. I have clarity on that now, but needed to avoid the bar/club and totally immerse in AA for a good while before being ready to go back there.
Hope you can glean something from this. We are all rooting for you! Get to more meetings and find a sponsor and work the steps!
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks pinkchip, I agree with you 100 percent, he really pissed me off saying that, I thought for a 33 year old guy texting me this after I told him I wasn't going out really pissed me off. It just shows you he is selfish and is only thinking about himself.
Mandm, to paraphrase the book my alcoholic life seemed the only normal one. People like your friend are very much in the minority out in the world, but seemed to be in the majority in my life. Mainly, this was because these where the people I chose to associate with, and I chose them because they drank like me, justifying my own drinking. When one of our group showed signs of wanting to improve their behaviour, we pulled him back. If he was to recover, that made the rest of us look bad, we would have to question our own drinking.
For a short while I was in no mans land, couldn't handle the old life, couldn't see the new one. But I did exactly what Pinckchip suggested. Went to meetings, got a sponsor and worked through the steps. The new life was revealed and, as promised, it was and is infinitely better than the old one.
