My sobriety also started with a break up of a 7 year relationship and a move. For whatever reason... these changes, trials, tribulations, are going to get you to a better spot. It's hard to see how now, but it will happen. Stay close to the fellowship and in the middle of AA and you will walk through all of this and emerge stronger.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
WE can identify...For me, I learned never to doubt in the dark what my God had shown me in the light. Two divorces,3 marriages,loss of my mid 40 year old children and jobs,a bid in a mental institution(jacketed off the street)and a merciful saving Grace(God's unmerited favor for me)allowed me to find my way back out of the abyss.Just For Today,if you don't pick up you can't get high and recovery looms bright,one day at a time. For many of us it took jarring experience to choose life over death..In prayer and support,,keep working make this the beginning not the end....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
You can sort of pick how to view your reality also - sometimes you have to laugh not to cry. Look - you are about to step into being a single guy with a slammin bachelor pad right? When relationships ended I told myself whatever worked....even "cool, I guess the next one will be much better looking and want to have sex 10 times more often." I know none of this is easy but also keep digging, hoping, laughing when you can, and being human. These are hard times but not the end of your life. Drinking will be the end of your life.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
So sorry :( As grateful as I am for my sobriety I still feel bummed when losses happen and changes must be made, or difficult transitions gone through--hope you keep one foot in front of the other a day at a time.
Mikef, I have been married twice and divorced three times! LOL The divorce without a wedding was the result of having to establish child support and custody in court..
In any event, none of them went without a great amount of pain attached to them. Even the one I had initiated hurt like hell. But I didn't drink. I went nuts without a doubt, but sanity can be restored one day at a time to a sober person, the insanity only gets worse for a drunk.
Pinkchip is right, ya know? Today I have a nice place, my own pad, I'm single and can be available to whatever lady I want, if they will have me. LOL I am learning how to even cook, and man that was like some dangerous terrory for me to venture into. Can't say its' actually safe now, but getting better. Dogs don't bark at my food and back away anymore... LOL
Stay clean and sober... that is job one. The rest will come together when we are done falling apart. My sponsor told me that once..."John, you are not falling apart, something good is coming together, and its got you wacked out!"
Thanks all for the ESH. I'm in a much better spot right now(subject to change w/ moment's notice) than I was when I wrote this post. It's been a long and hard 7 years. I'm not trying to place blame as this program has definitely taught me to take responsibility for my actions. However, I know I'm going to be much better off. We are sharing custody of my son and that is now priority #3 for me. The first two being sobriety and my mental health. And, yea, the next one will want more sex!!?? HELL YES! Lol. I'm in no place for another relationship any time soon. In fact I really just need to concentrate on said 3 priorities for awhile. It's going to be a long road back to where I want to be, but I can see the road and I know which direction I need to be traveling. Thank HP for that.
Struggling with this tonight. I'm feeling remorseful and lonely. I had to take a long hard look at some defects of character with this marriage. I'm not fully to blame but I've been really hard on her. Now my family is being split apart as a direct result of my drinking and the damage I've done. God why did I have to do all of this?! Why can't I be normal and just love my wife for who she is instead of constantly criticizing and complaining. It's been a hard 7 years + for her. I feel really bad for it.
This may or may not apply here, but when I started to lose stuff- important stuff- someone in the program said, "Rejection is God's Protection." It helped even a little.
