I hadn't been on the board for a while, but just logged on and saw about your return. Welcome back! You were a real encouragement to me when I first joined the board over 5 years ago. You may recall that I then had a year sober after having "thrown away" 18 years sober. You told me that forgiving myself was key, so now I'm giving that good advice back to you. Please stay. We need you here.
Our message is Hope and our promise is freedom from active addiction,a day at a time guided by a Power greater than WE and daily work!! Just for Today you don't have to use alcohol!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hey Phil, been there felt that. What helped me was applying one day at a time to relationships. That's all we get, nothing more. Forever doesn't exist, it's just a bull**** idea that our clingy selves hold on to in order to keep our fear of abandonment away. All relationships end, because someone is going to die first (unless you both die in a plane crash lol). If I keep my mind on Today and believe that any day that person I share a home with can wake up and say "It's been real and it's been nice but I want to be somewhere else now". And I want to be ready to thank them for the memories, wish them well, and help them get to wear they want to be. Life is too short to care about someone that doesn't care about me. Occasionally someone asks "what should I look for in a significant other?" and I say, "find one that you can live without, because you very well may have to".
Cheer up buddy, you were looking when you found her and you left looking. Enriched by the time you had, now it's time for a new chapter in "Phil's travels"
Hey Phil, been there felt that. What helped me was applying one day at a time to relationships. That's all we get, nothing more. Forever doesn't exist, it's just a bull**** idea that our clingy selves hold on to in order to keep our fear of abandonment away. All relationships end, because someone is going to die first (unless you both die in a plane crash lol). If I keep my mind on Today and believe that any day that person I share a home with can wake up and say "It's been real and it's been nice but I want to be somewhere else now". And I want to be ready to thank them for the memories, wish them well, and help them get to wear they want to be. Life is too short to care about someone that doesn't care about me. Occasionally someone asks "what should I look for in a significant other?" and I say, "find one that you can live without, because you very well may have to".
Cheer up buddy, you were looking when you found her and you left looking. Enriched by the time you had, now it's time for a new chapter in "Phil's travels"
This really helped me. My wife of 7 yrs and I are starting the dissolution process. I'm trying so hard not to become bitter and resentful towards her. I've done my fair share of the damage to this releshionship. Now that it's over I'm concentrating on giving her the dignity and respect that she deserves as my son's mother.
