You are sober today and that is a good situation. It's a good start.
Lots of people have trouble with the God concept. Try thinking about "God as you understand him" or "higer power."
You're going to meetings, that's great.
With regard to it being tough, remember that you can stay sober one day at a time. That's how we all do it.
Don't try to get well by next Thursday. Don't be in a rush to do much beyond getting stabilized. You don't have to do the steps in a short period of time like two weeks. In fact, most new step takers take many months, sometimes a year or more to do all twelve.
You have time, if you are sober today.
Thanks for finding us. Keep posting here if you can.
-- Edited by Tanin on Monday 18th of March 2013 02:42:05 PM
i am really struggling to stay sober. I had 13 months and then went back out. Now I am at 13 days and it is so hard this time. The days go by so slow and I feel like I am crazy again. I am back in a sober house and going to meetings and have a new sponsor but I am struggling with the God concept.... I went through the 12 steps but was dishonest about a lot of things. currently I am just trying to keep calm and do step work but I miss my old sponsor that was with me for a year. It was my decision to find a new sponsor after the relapse. My sponsor agreed to still work with me but I chose another one. Now I regret switching but am so full of fear in my life now that I don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you
Thank you. I am keeping this page up during work. I know message boards won't keep me sober but they can't hurt! My main concern is if I should keep my new sponsor or go back to my old one. My reason for getting a new one is because I wanted a different perspective but at the same time my old sponsor pretty much predicted that I would relapse if I kept doing the detrimental things I was doing. And voila! It happened. She knows me so well and when I listened to her I stayed sober but I made her my higher power and maybe that's why I miss her so much. That's what I'm dealing with right now. What should I do?
Congrats on 13 days,keep working...Thank you for your honesty about doing your Step work,very important area to keep in focus.We remember that ""Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state perfect ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring sticks by which we estimate our progress."But that doesn't include the 2nd half of that 1st Step,the unmanageability.. We also know that "coming to believe" is what is part of our restoration to sanity in our 2nd Step. Here WE remember that Step 2 is our help to fill the void of our first. This Step is about not what our Power is but how we can use this Power to help us a Power healing our hurt ,calming our confusion and restoring our sanity.We remember this is a spiritual not religious program and anyone can join regardless of religion or lack of religion..We came to believe "that'a Power not 'in; a Power,not who or what it is but how it can help us...WE Agnostics in BB great read on this concept.Step 2 begins the process and it is not a singular event,a process that may change many times over periods of time.Some come into the program with a life long idea of what a Higer Power is for them and others not.This is not the God" step ,God isn't even mentioned until Step 3. The Power can be thought of spiritual principles,,the fellowship,Good Orderly Direction' or anything we can conceive that will help us as long it is loving,caring and greater than ourselves.Don't need an understanding at all just be able to use it to stay away from that first one and seek daily recovery. It has been said "God as We understand HIM.' but that could also lead you to an idea of a HIM and thats not what your Power may be so don't let that sway you.You are free to choose your own concept and it doesn't have to be a HIM..I always thought the semantics of God as we understood God to be more semantically helpful but thats my stuff.......I just used my Higher Power of my own understanding to help me.. The program is on page 59 of 3rd tradition of BB ,your sponsor is there for a guide through the solution but it is up to us to instill,work, the application. Sponsorship is very valuable but WE are responsible for our own recoveries..Application of the program into the attitudes and behaviors of our lives is a daily piece of work along with remaining in that "fit spiritual condition"..In our daily lives we are subject to emotional and spiritual lapses causing us to become defenseless against the physical relapse,because we suffer from an incurable illness we are subject to relapse.,though Relapse can be the jarring experience that brings about a more rigorous application of the program.Truly glad you made it back,I carried many away during my 25 year reign of devastation and only the God of my understanding's grace and mercy allowed me that one last shot to continue on to jails,institutions,deriliction or death or find a New way to live..Yes it was difficult,but it definitely gets better.We say it gets GOOD,then it gets real GOOD and then it gets REAL..Keep working,stay in support,find that Power that works for you,even if its no God at all and more will be revealed...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Try and keep it simple also. In early early sobriety (you probably remember this from last go round) everything feels like a major crisis/ordeal. You would probably do fine with either sponsor. Progress and moving forward a day at a time is all that matters. Don't make a problem where there isn't one. You don't need to second guess everything when your intentions were seemingly good the first time. If you need to or want to move back to the old sponsor at a later time, your HP will make it apparent to you. No need to stress.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
heres what my conception of a power greater than myself started with: i saw a tree. no leaves on it. could see all the branches plain as day. but when the leaves were on that tree i couldnt see the branches, but i knew, without seeing them branches that those branches were there supporting those leaves and helping them grow. even though i could not see em, those branches were there and never left!
I would have a talk with one of your sponsors and tell them about the situation and get some input. If you are going to switch and you get input that it is the right thing to do, I would suggest doing it pretty soon.
I would let the other sponsor know that you would like to keep them as a important contact in your sober network.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I had left the room of AA for a year and let up on my spiritual program. Things started to get a bit crazy in my personal life ie: wife had a miscarriage of one of our twins, step-daughter struggling with various issues in her life and I took 3 hits of pot after helping a neighbor on Feb. 15th of this year. Last week I shared this slip in a couple different meetings I attend in town and subsequently changed my sobriety date after being so close to having 2 and a half years of sobriety. I have 31 days (again) today. My sponsor said I slipped upstairs and not downstairs. Coming back into the rooms with complete honesty this time as I too was not completely honest and willing the first time around, he says this means the real growth can begin. A higher power is in no doubt working in your life as you came back and this takes courage and integrity. Your seeking and you haven"t picked up today. I feel better about these last 31 days than I ever felt during the first 2 and a half years as I am hungrier for it and more willing to stick around and open up which is what I sense you are doing. Time takes time and only take it one day at a time. More will certainly be revealed to us both. I remind myself that I am right where I am supposed to be even though it can be painful. The big book states tat "pain is the admission to a new life." Hang in there you are not alone.
Welcome SBS and SP! I learned- the hard way, that recovery is a journey, not a sprint. It's a one day at a time journey that has no finish line. Early recovery is difficult. If you're like me, the head just won't shut up. The best I could do at times was not entertain any thoughts in my head. I like to call it- don't think! If they stayed there too long- I would talk with my Sponsor about them. They were all fear driven and ungrounded and unfounded. To turn the fear into something better, I had to have faith in something. Faith is the opposite of fear. I had faith in my Sponsor, then faith in the 12-Steps, then completing the 12 Steps, I had faith in a power greater than myself(God). Faith in something other than my thinking was key to survival in early recovery and still today. My faith has grown with me in recovery. Everything in recovery has been a process or evolution for me. No lightening bolts or nothern lights here. Just learning and growing. Don't give up no matter what. It will work in spite of yourself. That's my experience. The mintues will add up to hours, hours to days, the days to months & the months to years. Keep it in the moment- yesterday is history and tomorrow's a mystery. Live today! Prayers sent your way.
Welcome back. I really had a hard time with an HP when I came in here. A lot of people did. For me I came to the understanding that booze was a power greater than myself. I am powerless over alcohol. So why can't I believe in a positive power greater than myself. I don't need to name the power nor do I have to subscribe to a religion or even a certain belief. All I have to know today is that something outside of myself is greater than I am. I call it HP. I pray to it, I turn my will and my life over to it. I have stayed sober and relatively sane now for a little over 90 days. I couldn't do that before. So something is working here. Today I just don't need to name it or see it I just need to know that there is a higher power and its not me.
The best I could do at times was not entertain any thoughts in my head. I like to call it- don't think! If they stayed there too long- I would talk with my Sponsor about them. They were all fear driven and ungrounded and unfounded. To turn the fear into something better, I had to have faith in something. Faith is the opposite of fear. I had faith in my Sponsor, then faith in the 12-Steps, then completing the 12 Steps, I had faith in a power greater than myself(God). Faith in something other than my thinking was key to survival in early recovery and still today. My faith has grown with me in recovery. Everything in recovery has been a process or evolution for me. No lightening bolts or nothern lights here. Just learning and growing. Don't give up no matter what. It will work in spite of yourself. That's my experience. The mintues will add up to hours, hours to days, the days to months & the months to years. Keep it in the moment- yesterday is history and tomorrow's a mystery. Live today! Prayers sent your way.