I recently got in contact with one of my former foster mothers. This was my final foster home placement, and it just happened to be wonderful. I instantly clicked and bonded with this woman. After close to 20 placements in under a years time, I was pretty damaged by the time I met this woman. I had no hope for myself whatsoever, I was deep in the throws of active alcoholism, I had developed a habit of self injury(cutting), I was a punk rocker chick with safety pins as piercings in my face and waist long green and purple hair- and a high school dropout. I was a hot mess, to put it mildly. I had decided that I was my own woman at 15 years of age, and although I would be polite and well- mannered about it, I was simply gonna do whatever the hell I wanted to do. This woman loved me, made me a part of her family, pushed me to get my GED and go to college- accepted me for who I was and gave me a tiny shred of hope. She still, 21 years later, refers to me as her 'favorite foster kid'. We were in contact for years after I lived with her, until I really started progressing into hard core alcoholism- I simply dropped out of her life. Though she called me often, I only returned a handful of these calls, and only when I was wasted- filling her in on all my drunken b.s. pipe dreams. So I call her the other day and told her I was sober. She started crying, saying her prayers have been answered. What?!? Apparently this woman has dealt with a lot of alcoholism in her family, and recognized I had a problem way back when I lived with her. She knew there was nothing she could do to save me from myself. She'd been praying for me since. I had no idea she knew of my alcoholism- I thought I was being all slick about it. Haha- nope. It just hit me- how many other people had been praying for me? Is this why, the first time I decided to pray for myself my HP answered immediately? Strange how this spiritual stuff seems to work! But, hey, I'm not here to figure it out- I'm just going with it:)
-- Edited by Col on Sunday 17th of March 2013 01:03:53 PM
This was a great piece to read. Thank you, Col :) It's amazing how much faith others can have in us, even when we aren't quite there to see it yet ourselves. During one particularly nasty encounter with an ex-girlfriend in college, this woman wrote to me, "Adam, I will always have faith in you as a person." That made me really angry at the time, and yet this one sentence continues to stay with me and gives me inspiration through my current journey into sobriety.
Anyway, your sharing this also made me wonder how many people in my life have known I have a drinking problem and just haven't said anything. Like you, I suppose, I have spent a long time convincing myself that I was being slick or "casual" about my drinking to everyone from my friends to my family members. Five weeks after my last drink, though, I'm already wondering: How could I have ever thought it was casual or slick to start visits with my family off by drinking 4-5 large glasses of wine and expecting them to think nothing of it? I'm sure my family and friends know, and I look forward to moments like the one you described in various iterations.
Congrats on sticking with it, by the way. I can't wait until I'm as far along as you are.
-Adam
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
Thanks, Col. Many people prayed for me and still pray for me. I am very grateful for these intercessors, who quietly petition God on my behalf. Kind regards. Gonee.
Thanks for the share. I was a punk BITD myself. I used to grease my hair back with motor oil and also used safety pins for piercings! WOw, crazy. I definately think a lot of prayers got me to the rooms too. I better go call my Dad and tell him thanks.
