Yesterday my wife and I started to fight. Instead of letting it escalate I simply stopped and left. I went to my local bike shop to look around for a bit. Nothing realy changed for me. I was still upset and starting to obsess. I came home and changed my clothes and went for a run. During this run I prayed to God. I asked for insight and guidance. I recieved both. I then came home and sat down with my wife to talk to her. We hashed it out. While she said some things I didn't necessarily want to hear, I did not use this as a springboard for a binge. I thanked her for talking to me and for her honesty. I have no idea what the future holds for us but I know it's no longer in my hands. I have let go and let God. I'm working on turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him. The only I do know for certain is He doesn't want me drinking and He doesn't want me to continue to hurt others for my own selfish gain. So, new behaviors. What are some of the things you have had to change in order to align yourself with your HP's will?
I have had to change a bunch! I can no longer argue with someone simply to "win". I have to give up the idea I can control certain situations just because I think I know best. I have to find a calm center in myself that I can retreat to when the world starts getting too heavy. I have to find peace in the pause before I speak so it isn't coming from habitual reaction. I have to humble myself continually and remember I am no better and no worse than anybody else, alcoholic or not. I have to be more childlike and less childish so I stay willing and open hearted. Not always easy, by any means...but always worth it. :)
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Yesterday my wife and I started to fight. Instead of letting it escalate I simply stopped and left. I went to my local bike shop to look around for a bit. Nothing realy changed for me. I was still upset and starting to obsess. I came home and changed my clothes and went for a run. During this run I prayed to God. I asked for insight and guidance. I recieved both. I then came home and sat down with my wife to talk to her. We hashed it out. While she said some things I didn't necessarily want to hear, I did not use this as a springboard for a binge. I thanked her for talking to me and for her honesty. I have no idea what the future holds for us but I know it's no longer in my hands. I have let go and let God. I'm working on turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him. The only I do know for certain is He doesn't want me drinking and He doesn't want me to continue to hurt others for my own selfish gain. So, new behaviors. What are some of the things you have had to change in order to align yourself with your HP's will?
There's only one thing I had to change ... ... ... EVERYTHING ... ... ...
I had to change the 'way I think' ... and what you described above is a great start ... you were a good example of stopping the 'old' thinking and applying the new way to think ... good job ...
A person becomes what they 'think' ... ... ... and when we come to enough meetings and work the steps of AA, and go on to practice the principles of AA in our daily life, THEN our 'thinking' begins to change ... after a while, we become different people than we were ... we become the person we wanted to be all along ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
That sounds awesome Mike! I'm inspired to keep working on things like this from stories like yours. It's incredible when you begin to really let the spirit shine. It's kind of addicting. I think I went through a phase of trying to stir things up to 'practice' on. Yes, silly things I do as an alcoholic... always looking for my own pleasure. Now I can focus truly on the other side of the story, and not just my own... I really can just be peaceful and let peace be peace. LOL My husband basks in the benefits, and has seen that it's worth it to give this program a try... and he's now in alanon. Best wishes for your recovery... keep posting!
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I have really had to change my thinking to not be a victim any longer. I have had to change my views to be more grateful and less whiny and complaining. I can't tolerate too much negativity because I can and will obsess on it. I have had to train my mind (and also act as such) to be more positive.
Much of the change was not stuff "I" did. It just happens automatically through working the steps and then slowly adopting them as a way of life and through trying to just be an instrument of my HP.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
