Pssst, ... you really do have a knack for posting something like this when I'm getting ready to go to bed ... then I must respond or else it keeps me up ...

I'm sure this is not this first time you've seen a parent react to there children this way ... what's worse than this scenario, is when you know a family where the woman keeps having kids just for the federal aid (income) that they're good for (yes, love is all but absent) ... AND yes, when you see this happen, it makes you want to slap the 'sh!T' out of them ... and you cannot help lowering your respect for such a person ... but isn't that what we do with a drunk when we come across them now ??? ... for a minute, we DO judge, why?, because we feel we have our act together, everyone else should too ...

What you saw today is a person who needs 'guidance' from someone like yourself, badly ... and 'hopefully', when she has enough sobriety, she'll also receive the gift and desire to work on her parenting skills ... if fate brings you two together while you're around your children, then she will see the benefits of handling her children in the proper fashion, through observing you ... ...

Depending on where she is in her sobriety, she may still be suffering the effects of withdrawal ... ... ... you know it takes about six months before most of us start getting a good handled on things ... I have not been in this exact position, but I'd say just try and hold your anger down as much as possible and try to see her as a 'work-in-progress' ... it's way to soon to start suggesting methods to her about how to raise her children ... maybe she'll she your example and want to be more like you, when she becomes clear of mind and body ...

Maybe in the future, you can show her that the opportunity to be a parent is a 'blessing' and an 'honor' ... not a chore or a 'pain in the ass' that she makes it out to be ... and of course, you know better than to give any credence to the term, you're 'driving me to drink' ... ... ... that's just a cop-out so one can try and hide from reality ... problem is, is life always finds you ... 

Hey Tasha,
Remember to keep it simple.....as you can. She sounds like a great fit except for the kid thing. Possibly just a moment of honesty: "Listen new sponsee, you and I really click on all levels except I freaked out a bit the other day when you whacked your kids. Anything I can do to help there?" That way you at least give her something to think about. If she opens up, game on. If not and she gets defensive and blows up, it was not to be. Even if it was not to be, you leave her with food for thought.
Tom

LMAO ... YES I was ... or did, ... ... ... thank you, Mike

I understand your frustrations, Tasha -being a family man myself, but as you've already learned there's more to know about parenting than any of us can learn in a lifetime. So let's stick to the facts as we know them.  She's an alcoholic, right? Okay, good start. Now, about the other incident -the one regarding the children I mean, it may be beyond our control as well. The facts, though alarming, are still sketchy at best. Besides, she may just be the victim of abuse herself, or worse? Maybe, she hasn't seen the light at the end that tunnel just yet; who knows. There is one thing we do know, regrettably; her children are the innocent victims of a real life scenario unfortunate as that may be, but as being alone in that regard, who knows? She may actually feel like a victim herself, but then again that's not for us to decide. There is one thing I am sure of despite my skeptical nature: We should never judge the character of this person or any other before we walk in their shoes. The implications, not to mention the uncertainty, can lead us to a place of lesser resolve; it may actually become a lost journey that never has a happy end, regardless how we feel. So I suggest you start with the basics -recovery 101- and then work on it from there: It's how the miracle unfolds anyway, in the light of someone else's tunnel.

 Let's face it, all of us -parents included- have said or done something we truly regret: It's just part of being human after all. Some of us have become so overwhelmed with responsibility that we lack the time or patience to deal with these issues effectively, including herself. So I suggest you proceed with caution. I would establish a good working dialogue first, and then you can teach her -firsthand- what sober parenting is really all about -through your actions, of course, not your words. She just might learn a thing or two about effective parenting after all, despite the past or her condition. There's no harm in trying, is there?

 If anyone could pull this off, Tasha, it would be you. Just remember, dear: We're recovering alcoholics not experts, and there's no room in the recovery business for an armchair shrink -that's for the professionals to decide, not us. Remember: You can only provide a path, dear -by showing her how recovery works, but that's the extent of our expertise. Where she takes it from there is totally up to her. It's a process, Tasha; a process that may just extend beyond the rooms of recovery, but it must begin with the first step.  So start with what you do know and then work on your relationship from there. It just may hold the key to her sober future after all -one could only hope. I hope this helps.