Happy McPsycho, I think that you're wising for sociopath and you may already be one   

A lot of these traits come with alcoholism. 

Profile of the Sociopath




Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 6th of March 2013 10:35:29 AM

Most psychopaths do not have wives and families. A larger portion are in prison.

You are discussing Antisocial Personality Disorder: Antisocial personality disorder is seen in 3% to 30% of psychiatric outpatients.[1][10] The prevalence of the disorder is even higher in selected populations, like prisons, where there is a preponderance of violent offenders.[28] A 2002 literature review of studies on mental disorders in prisoners stated that 47% of male prisoners and 21% of female prisoners had antisocial personality disorder.[29] Similarly, the prevalence of ASPD is higher among patients in alcohol or other drug (AOD) abuse treatment programs than in the general population (Hare 1983), suggesting a link between ASPD and AOD abuse and dependence.[30]

So no - it would not appear to be a cake walk. When you have no feelings, you have no conscience and that leads to bad things. Do you really want to go around hurting others without caring? That would be the ultimate selfishness. I've dealt with criminal offenders/psychopaths for large parts of my career. They have crappy lives, often locked up and they spend so much time social posturing to be hard, tough....street warriors....and it's so ironic because they act so hard but really they are all wussies that can't handle their emotions. If anything bad or sad happens to them - they get angry and that is it. Only anger. I have seen them receive news about tradgedies like their family has passed away and they immediately hit walls and want to fight people. They don't cry, grieve...none of that.

So being a psychopath is not fun at all....they are left not with "no feeling" because they all will tell you they feel anger 10 x stronger to make up for the other emotions they don't have.

If you got rid of all emotions, then you would be a zombie - robot.....basically lobotomized.

Lol, I am both sober and happy. Just on day 5 of quitting smoking and I'm a grumpy bastard :)

The truth is that I suffer from debilitating feelings of guilt and I wish that I didn't. I don't know why I've always been this way but its a very difficult way to live and causes a great deal of problems in my life. I believe that it's what lies at the root of my not feeling comfortable in my own skin which is why I loved intoxicants so much.

I have extreme emotional highs where I look at my wife and daughter, our home, etc. and I am almost overwhelmed with love and gratitude. But I also have crushing lows where I feel undeserving and like a failure and its so painful that I'd give almost anything to not feel it.

pinkchip wrote:

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On top of that....How annoying. Why make comments that would have people thinking you are seriously upset and troubled and then be like "Sike! I was just grumpy from quitting smoking!" I must remember this the next time I bite at one of your threads.

It's hard to respond to you when nobody knows if you are being honest or just screwing around.

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 SMc has a long history here of the same style of posts. He's not either honest OR screwing around.

He's honestly screwing around. Or, screwing around honestly.

It doesn't have to be one OR the other. That's the ole logical fallacy approach.

If it "annoys," maybe think about the spiritual axiom concept in the Big Book:

 It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.

10th step time . . .

Sober McHappy wrote:

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Yeah Pinky, listen to the pickle.

Sounds like it's time for you to go get your AA workbook and redo the 10th step.

I will patiently await your public apology :)

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 SmH  looks like "The Pickle" is focusing his shotgun of shame on you this time 

It didn't annoy me that much Tanin. I guess I will do mild step 10. I am sorry Sober MC. Tanin is actual right here and what I meant is that I annoyed myself by not knowing or being able to read into how serious you were vs. not. That is on me.

What you wrote about debilitating guilt, emotional highs and lows....that is pretty much something that unites us all and it's something we all go through in early sobriety. When you share about that it's easier to identify. All of us want you to stay sober. Had not seen you for a while and was concerned. Usually after your "breaks" you show up on one of those down swings. I guess I was codependenty concerned LOL.

As long as Tanin is suggesting 10th step to me, I would also suggest 10th step to him for the massive amounts of people offended, put off, and irritated by his posts. 10th step time for you too buddy. Actually more like a bunch of 10th steps. I've never been banned from the board for failure to be able to make ammends and get along with others. Practice what you preach please.

Guilt has been hitting me too McHappy. This afternoon I read in a celebrate recovery book called Healing Choices that doing step 4 helps to deal with these feelings. My choices in the past has led to a lot of people (8ncluding my children) to be hurt terribly. The best way I've found to help ease it is to work my programs and be accountable to my Hp so I can treat them (and other people) the way they deserve to be treated. Tracey

Thank you to those who said kind helpful things and to Pinkchip but I was just in a temporary funk yesterday. I have sincerely felt this way many times throughout my life though. As I've mentioned before I hate going through life like a raw nerve ending so easily hurt and overwhelmed by the world around me.

A better way for me to have written this might have been I wish that I could be more like Spock from the sci-fi series Star Trek. Just a being of pure logic and reason unencumbered by irrational emotional responses and feelings to life. Maybe that metaphor wouldn't have rustled people's jimmies as much.

Wow now we're into Star Trek lol... The best thing about being here is you never know where the conversations will go. Love it Tracey

Sounds like words of wisdom & experience Col, ... ... ... Thanks

McHap, I certainly sympathize with the mood swings of early sobriety. I hope you're feeling better today.

Col wrote:

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Hey McSober... I'm assuming that you're half- serious here. All I have to contribute to this is that as a daughter of a man who was a diagnosed, medicated psychopath (he wasn't diagnosed until later in his life) and spent my childhood under the same roof with this, I am very, very grateful for every emotion I have- whether good or bad. Oh, and that annoying, troublesome conscience? Thank your HP right this second that you have it:) the alternative is pretty damn scary- and that's a fact.

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Why do you people always assume that I'm lacking in the seriousness department?

It's kind of offensive :|

Thanks Leeu.

I love chocolate but if I eat it after 3pm I get the jimmie legs and keep my wife awake all night. But in all seriousness eating chocolate and whatever chemicals it releases into my brain does indeed override pretty much and other craving I've got going on. My favorite is Toblerone :)

Actually, in the original "Star Trek" series, the vulcans, pure-strain, no hybrids, weren't born w/o emotions, they made the choice to avoid succumbing to their emotions to curb their warlike tendencies. So actually, you can attempt to be like a vulcan now! But why? No emotions, no mind powers, no super strength, no cool ears? Who'd want that, except for maybe a lead singer in a goth band? (My apologies if that is your aspiration. I actually like goth music.)

justadrunk wrote:

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@Frodo - You know what - I could relate to most any mental definition apparently! I am totally with ya, and THANK YOU for your honesty. You rock!

I read the dry drunk posting from John the other day - and though - oh crap that's me... hmmm. I just read this, and thought - oh crap that's me too... hmmm. No guts to post it though - typed it and deleted it.

So I'm guessing we have some issues as alcoholics, but we're on the right path, and those things aren't 'today' but some of them may have been in the past to a degree - or trickle in here or there. I guess we just keep at this with a belly full of hope instead of booze that things will turn around and we'll get back to 'normal' whatever that is. I saw a slow progression in some of these characteristics, in fact I remember being startled by them as they came about. I think your body starts to shut down in this way on it's own with constant trauma. Take away the trauma, and hopefully that means we snap back? Sorry to say we instead of I - I know I'm hopeful, that I wasn't meant to be those things I identified with to whatever degree. I think like Col said - that's when it's truly scary - I have memories of being normal at least - if that makes sense.

Thanks again Frodo - you're a real rock star of recovery and I'm inspired to be more like you today : ) *again*

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A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I did a couple of units of psychology, and, while 99% of it was either over my head, in a lecture I missed to play drinking games, or I've just plain forgotton, the one thing I'll never forget is us being told NOT to read the texts and go and self diagnose with every mental illness under the sun. Very common apparently, and psyc students give med students run for their money when it comes to hypocondria.

So I don't take self evaluation that seriously, and I also know that serious addiction removes caring about right or wrong, and empathy, and any sense of responsibility, so while I did tick most of those boxes at some point, and I'm in the process of learning not to tick them when I'm aware of them these days, I don't worry that I have anything that can't be healed with some time and effort*.

 

*Except the Tourette syndrome. I'm keeping that for my next family reunion.