Tonight I am going to be in a situation that I haven't been in for awhile. I have to attend a 60th birthday party for my best friend. It is going to be in a private dining room of a local restaurant. Of course there is going to be alcohol. I'm not worried about a slip. My HP will be right by my side. But it is still a situation I haven't had to del with yet in my 4 months of sobriety. If it weren't my best friend I would not go but she has been with me through my struggles and I want to be there to celebrate her birthday. My sponsor and I have discussed this and she has given me some good tips on how to handle this situation. Any other advice would be welcome.
Find a friend that will be there that doesn't drink ... or look for one as soon as you get there ... have the phone number to your sponsor handy and use it ... make sure your sponsor will answer your calls especially during this time period ... always have a glass of juice or soda in your hands to sip from ...
don't drink and go to a meeting ASAP afterwards ... ... ... above all, enjoy a sober night ... play a game with yourself by keenly observing those who are tipsy ... try to guess how many drinks it took them to get to their current state ... ... ... sit back and enjoy the entertainment of those who are out of control ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Remember, you can always leave if you feel uncomfortable. Your friend will understand and the fact that you showed up and were there for her is what matters. If she's your best friend, she knows what the deal is and will understand if you need to go. I wouldn't plan for being uncomfortable. Odds are you will probably have fun and it wont be a big issue, but you know what to do just in case. Sobriety comes first because without it, you have nothing.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Early in my sobriety, I went to my niece's wedding, on a boat that cruised around the harbor for 4 hrs. I was very anxious beforehand, as I wasn't going to be able to leave the situation due to the fact that it was on a boat. I did a lot of praying, set things up with my sponsor as Mark (PC) suggested, and took the tools I had learned up to that point with me. I stuck with my Mom, who doesn't drink, most of the time. I had an awesome time. When my niece got the pictures back from those cameras that you put out for friends and family, it seems I was in at least half the pictures, smiling, laughing, and living it up, sober!!!! All my worry was for naught. Oh, and my HP was with me the whole time too. There were a couple of times I had to take a moment, find a quiet place, and say the Serenity prayer or a real quick shout out, "help". But as I said, I had an awesome time, and best of all, I remember everything I said and did. Make a plan, pray, and go. Have fun and if it's not fun, leave. A true friend will certainly understand.
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
A very good friend of mine in recovery who I haven't seen for a while told me a story of being invited to a family birthday party and knowing that he would be met at the door by a relative with a bottle of his favorite beer. He had anxiety over it for a couple of week and did the praying and surrender practice we are all taught. The morning of the party he still had anxiety along with the usual faith and at the due time gathered up his kids and went. Sure enough when he got to the front door of the party house the door automatically opened for him as it did lots of times before and there stood a cousin with his hand outstretched and in it a bottle of his favorite beer. He looked at the beer and then at his cousin and out of his mouth came "No thanks I've had enough". Mysterious and soooo appropriate for an alcoholic who drank his way into sobriety and had stopped drinking for 7 years. His HP came up with a monster of a reply. I've got it memorized ...just in case. Last time I had to reply to insistence that I have "one" with the boys my HP used my wife to end the insistence. She told Chris...(now deceased from this disease and the consequences of practice) "The reason why he won't drink with you is that if he does you'll no longer like him". LOL another monster and I didn't even have to move my lips. Keep coming back...being tested is part of how it works. (((hugs)))
