I consider God my 'Heavenly Father' ... ... ... so I call Him/Her Papa

When I talk to Papa in the mornings, and ask for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out, I know I will have a great day ... it never fails ... my sponsor told me to always start my day by asking Papa to take me today and do with me as He sees fit ...

So today is no different ... Papa has seen fit to keep my heart beating, to keep my mind active, to make my heart compassionate to others needs, to others sufferings, to love without expectation, to enjoy life itself with all its wonders and beauty ... when I turn myself over to Papa and His spirit of the universe, He opens my eyes and my heart to Love, His Love of all that He created ... and when I ALLOW Him to take me on His journey, then all is well with my soul ... the beauty of His creation is never ending ... and to dwell in His house is to have no worries, but to have knowledge that all is as it should be ...

you ask: ...on all of the things that God is doing FOR you, that you KNOW you could NEVER do for yourself?

example:  Can I say to my heart, 'forgive' your brother for doing you wrongly? ... NO ... I could never even begin to 'forgive' myself, much less someone else ... not UNTIL I came to realize that Papa had sent His son to do 'just that' for me ... and how did that turn out you ask? ... I think you know the story in the Big Big Book(as Dr. Bob called it the Good Book)

I have come to know that it is only through God that 'all Blessings flow' ... ... ... Me?, by myself, I am nothing ... ... ... but with Papa, I am everything, everything He would have me be ... ...

A definition of sloth, "faint hearted in matters that are morally or spiritually difficult" describes one character defect that God had been slow to remove from me. Unlike the previous two posters, I have to confess to being lazy and undisciplined in the area of the 11th step. Rather than a set time for prayer and meditation, and a plan for the day, I tend to take life as it comes, and engage in these activities sporadically throughout the day. Every now and then I have a go at a more disciplined approach and usually find it beneficial, but I never seem to stick at it.

But it doesn't seem to matter. It seems that what the book says - "God doesn't make too hard terms for those who seek Him" has proved true for me. God is always with me and never fails to answer my prayers though sometimes the answer may be no.

What has He done that I could not do for my self? The first thing was to bring on a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism. I came in full of guilt and shame and largely it was based around the idea that I had tried to be moral in my life, and failed miserably, constantly betraying my own values. I had no idea how to fix this, how to change my personality, or what to change it to. I can't emphasise this enough. I had no practical understanding even of the terms describing character traits and wouldn't have known an honest feeling if I fell over it. My relationship with the world was governed purely by instinct. That is why human aid failed and why a "self help" approach would not work for me. I was beyond human aid, even my own or perhaps that should be especially my own. The only useful thing I brought to the table was a modicum of willingness.

So while I was doing my honest best with my very limited understanding, trying to have faith, changes began to happen in me that I had nothing to do with. I only noticed them in hind sight, sometimes quite a long time after the event. One such was a friend, whom I thought was gone for ever, came back into my life after I had been in AA only a few weeks. He should have punched me out but instead amazed me with his willingness to help. Later he told me that he had seen a change in me, something I was unaware of.

I remember the day I became a thief who could not steal, pinching a spanner from a work site, and then feeling compelled to take it back the next day. And when procrastination was overcome. I acted promptly on things that would normally have been delayed for months, but without any thought or effort on my part. These changes just happened automatically. I never consciously overcame any character defect through direct action and effort on my part. If I was having problems I prayed for a solution. Sometimes that was passive- let it go - sometime it required action - make amends.

He gave me the power to overcome my alcoholism, and blessed me with the power to help others. He gave me the ability to handle life's low spots, to make mistakes and learn from them rather than drink over them, gave my life purpose and meaning. In fact it is all summed up in the promises of the Book, particularly 9 and 10, none of which I could bring about for myself.

God bless
MikeH

What has God been up to lately? Good question. I guess its self examination time again. So, where shall I begin? What God is currently doing or better yet how he's working in my life sounds a bit selfish if I say so myself: Perhaps what I'm currently doing verses what I should be doing is a better question to ask. It's not a leading role for me anymore -the questions about my role verse his, but what he's leading me to do that really matters. Only then can I find the light at the end of that proverbial tunnel.

A couple of months ago I got carried away inside a moment. I was out with friends enjoying what I thought was another great weekend, when tragedy struck. I slipped on some black ice and was bed ridden for a period of time. This unfortunate incident wreaked havoc on my life, not to mention my wife. I guess some mannerisms never really go away. So, after two months of nothing but pain and agony I can finally say it's over. Thank God too. My wife is happier also. I guess God had something else in mind all along.

So, this is the part where I tell on myself: I drifted away from the program. No surprises there. Don't get me wrong; I didn't drink, but I forgot how I got here. I pushed aside the program in pursuit of what I thought was my dream job. Unfortunately, it doesn't always turn up roses. I fought hard, but in the end it wasn't all that glamorous after all. What I saw beneath that veil was the same image I fought so hard to ignore: the image of my old self minus the alcohol. That's when I knew the gig was up. So, I decided to take a time out and reignite the flame that was lost. It's been a blessing ever since.

I guess the next thing you're wondering is: How does this relate to Lady Elis question about our higher power? Good question. I guess it does in many ways, especially when we talk about new beginnings. I had to venture beyond the gates of acceptable behavior to find out what that word truly means. For me, it means so much more than just a simple encounter. It must start with a proper foundation, and that's where my higher power and the A.A. program come in. Without either or I'm doomed to fail. That I do know. So, what is God leading me to do? Well, it's obvious: Become more teachable. That way I can better teach others. It's always good day to learn, isn't it? This is how our lives evolve anyway. It also makes clear two other important aspects of a good recovery program: Faith and family. I finally realized how important my relationship to God really was, and how to trust him completely in all things; good, bad or indifferent: It's how I came to believe. For that, I'm forever grateful. Onward...

-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 1st of March 2013 04:43:15 AM