Hello everyone. My name is Max. My father is an alcoholic.
Although i can't say that i suffer his sickness (i can only recall seeing him drunk maybe two or three times) it marked me deeply. So much, that i can say i don't enjoy alcohol.
I drink maybe a couple of beers and that's it. When i was in college, most of my classmates and friends went out for the weekend to get drunk/stoned. And i couldn't bear it.
Because of his condition, my dad as well as my mom didn't socialize much, as a result i am socially innept as well.
It became a problem because most of my classmates, coworkeres, family and even friends thought of me as a prude, which i don't think i am.
I wanted to ask if anybody here went trough something similar? or is it me the one that's wrong?
-- Edited by Max87 on Tuesday 19th of February 2013 12:43:24 PM
In answer to your question,yes I knew early on my mom's was a closet alcoholic(would hide and sneek and think no one knew)My dad was a cop and a chronic gambler playing both sides,the mob and the police..I was a drunk at around 12 yrs old. I had the old 'I'll teach em lesson mentallity early in my addiction until the poison captivated all parts of my life. I also have a 27 year old son who is now in recovery from 7 long years of hard core heroin abuse so I can identify from quite a few different sides.Yes as Tasha stated Al-Anon, coda ETC might be more helpful to you then this particular site,you can decide that?. I also am active in Nar-Anon where I continued to learn about more enabling situations, sharing with others(wearing couple hats) about making sure I take care of myself as I didnt cause my son's addiction,couldn't control it,and certainly couldn't cure it,knowing from my own evidence of my own addiction(that apple didnt fall far from the tree)4 children 1 in recovery ,2 still using, 1 normie>>>and a partridge in a pear tree.(i love to laugh even when I cry)...Check out a meeting near you and show up it can be very helpful,you will get out what you put in.......Hang in OUR program(s) are about HOPE and a promise of freedom,that will take some daily work. You may never become a Social animal but I can say you can find a way to look inside,apply a solution to help you move forward with your life.....Peace man............
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Aloha Max and yes to some degree that is some of my history also however I also picked up the habit of drinking until it stopped itself which by that time sometimes left me in the state of overdose and close to death. Great that you don't have that experience...it takes the grace of God to get an alcoholic thru that and into the rooms of AA. I also attended and still attend Al-Anon for the family, friends and associates of alcoholics. You will find the Al-Anon board on the Main Page...go back to it...click on it and read...read...read, then join in. Keep coming back
Welcome to the MIP board. I didn't come from a alcoholic home, but made still made it here.
To answer your one question: or is it me the one that's wrong?
We are not responsible for all the things that happened in our lives, just responsible for dealing with them. As we say in AA, if we are not the problem, then there is no solution. Changing us is the only thing we really have the absolute power to do....with God's help of course.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Welcome Max! Alcoholism effects everyone who comes into contact with it. Including family members. I'm also an Adult Child of An Alcoholic as well as an Alcoholic myself. I can still struggle with communication and building friendships/relationships. The 12 Steps and a HP have helped me considerably with finding out who and what I am. Also, helped in overcoming the self centered fear which blocks me from my HP, Myself and Others. I would suggest a 12 Step Program- either ACOA or Alanon to overcome you're Spiritual Malady. Wishing you the best!
