haha! That's awesome Col - I have gone through that many times, but yes - in deleting or staying away, you're not hurting the other person(s) you're just hurting yourself. I have explained this time and time again to my kids, that if they tell me they're not going hug me and let them love them when they're feeling just pissed off, they are not hurting me, they are hurting themselves... it's starting to sink in... and it makes me realize just how much they love me, and just how much it means to them that I love them.
So thank you Col - I see how much we mean to you... and we do love you... and I FOR ONE - DID notice, but I knew you'd be back, and you know what else??? Sometimes just like I have to let my children make a mistake and learn from it no matter how much it hurts, I realize I was incapable of this before - completely tried to save the world and especially them from ever ever hurting. Now I can see that we must walk through things to truly grow from them... and I want my children, and you and everyone to be SO LOVED that you are ALLOWED to grow into the person you were always meant to be.
I commend you for coming back and sharing what happened. Very 'grown up' of you - and I missed you, so I'm super glad you're back : )
-- Edited by justadrunk on Sunday 17th of February 2013 08:47:20 AM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Instead of saying ... "quitting is not a virtue" ... why not let's be 'positive' and say it's great to see you 'get up and try again' ... ... ...
Is that really so hard to do ... being 'positive' is soooo much more attractive then being 'negative' ...
P.S. Col, your post was just before I could respond to Tomas again ... you done good girl ...you are the perfect example of progress ... you keep going girl, love your attitude ...
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Sunday 17th of February 2013 02:03:47 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good morning MIP:) I missed you guys. I have a confession to make- I deleted my first account here last week. I had a temper tantrum- plain and simple. Like a 5 year old. Somebody gave me their honest feedback-I didn't like it. I childishly thought "well I'll show them! HA!", and deleted my account.Like an idiot. Or more like petulant little girl who say pouting in the corner with my stubborn arms folded, stomping my foot while waiting for an apology. This illustrates a few things about myself that I'm not necessarily proud of- but, hey- there it is. I realize nobody probably even realized I did this- it was a drama played out for my own purposes. Oh, boy. I guess I still have some growing up to do, huh? Today I have been 9 months sober, and I realized I wanted to thank my MIP friends for helping me so much during these 9 months:) But, oh I had to create a new account to do so! I do have to laugh at myself when I think of how many times I have prowled the MIP site over the course of the past week thinking "I'm NOT going to create a new account and admit defeat!!" LOL- I guess that stubborn, dumb fiery temper hasn't been prayed away in 9 short months- still got a lot to learn. The first is that waging silent wars is futile and only harmful to myself. So with humble apologies I'm back on board:)
You ARE learning, just as we all are!!! Growth doesn't stop, just because one finds sobriety. We all have faults that need tweeking. Thanks for the honesty and welcome back!
good on ya!! theres absolutely nothing wrong with a lil humility. what i learned in recovery is that i stopped growing mentally and emotionally when i took my 1st drink, so that meant when i got into AA at 36, i was only about 12 or 13 mentally and emotionally. it REALLY showed when someone would tell me something i needed to hear and it wasnt what i wanted to hear! that rat bastard sponsr of mine would be sittin across the table from me at meetings and when i'd get done sharin, he'd just look at me and smile and say," its your lie" or" yer only liein to yourself" or " yer eyes may sparkle and yer theeth may glitter, but ya cant bul**hit and old bul**itter." took time, but i saw it. now i know when someone says something to me that bothers me, there very well could be some truth to it.
get into the steps with a sposnr and the change WILL happen to you,too.
Glad you came back, if for no one else for your self. Those are truly the steps of growing up. Im like you i done and can do the same stuff. Emotional chicken shits we are. We can take a beat down and give a beat down but let a stranger look in my direction on a spiritually bad hair day and im running home to hide under the covers. Ego maniac with an infereority complexs ive heard it called. Looks like john wayne on the outside, barney fife on the inside. Thanks for comming back and sharing that.
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
Congrats Col, on 9 months. That's awesome. . I don't post here a lot, but I usually pop in daily to see how things are with MIP. I was just thinking yesterday, Col hasn't posted in a while, I hope she's ok. For me, just like in my home group, if someone is coming around often & then they're not, I worry. Then I pray. There's a saying that goes " If you're going to worry, why pray? And if you pray, why worry" or something to that effect. So, I pray that God watches over the person, and that they get a sense somehow, someway, that they are not alone. It has been a privilege for me to share in the journey of my fellows here on MIP. I learn much about myself, gain much hope, and see that I am not alone. You have shared your struggles and your triumphs here as you travel this path, and I thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. And I'm happy you could see you were standing in the way of your own progress, and were humble enough to move on. True progress. (((hugs))) & Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Good to have you back....One of the first things my sponsor told me...You need to grow up!!...I wanted to punch him. One of many things he told me I didn't want to hear....But I'm grateful for today. Spiritual progress....Not perfection....We're not Saints Col.....And we don't have to be.
Thanks for your post Col, ... this shows a huge amount of maturity ...
Like Nezyb, I was thinking last week that I hadn't seen you posting lately, and I went to send you a PM , well, duh, you didn't come up on the roster ... when that happened, then I knew you'd gone off the board permanently, for the moment ... ... ...
Of course I did the stupid thing and went looking for possible posts that may have caused such a problem ... then I realized, when someone deletes their account, it deletes every post too ... so it left me blind as to what happened ...
I am thrilled that you are back and pray that whatever happens in the future, we can remain family ....
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Quitting is certainly not a virtue. I believe that admitting defects of character, being honest about behaving like a child, and humbly returning with sincere gratitude are all actions taken out of virtues that I hope to attain. Thank you all for being here while I work on progress.
Col - this is your growth opportunity to quit fighting anyone and anything as it states in the big book. And that means QUIT! It IS a virtue. You disengage. You move away as if it doesn't even exist and completely ignore it - you absolutely do not walk into more disturbing trials for yourself. You quit that! It's one of the virtues I hang onto for dear life because it's taken me a life time to find it... and I'm SO thankful that I did.
There are certain people in life who's 'posts' I completely skip over. I know it will do harm to me to, and that I'm likely to react in some negative way and the only way to truly 'grow through it' is to quit ever putting myself there in the first place. Pretty tough thing for me to do! I HAVE TO SEE IT ALL. I HAVE TO respond to it all = I HHHHHAAAAADDD to. Not today. Not anymore. What others think of you is none of your business. Grasp onto that for dear life and QUIT walking straight into fire. Been there... done that... have the scars to prove it... hopefully showing you my scars can save you a few...
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Aloha Col and welcome back...that was done just for me as I am reminded what a former sponsor taught me..."The definition of humility is...being teachable". Courage is about giving it away and gratitude is about getting it for free. There you done good. (((((hugs)))))
Dear Col...You gave me a chuckle!!! I hate it when I hide....and noone is lookin' for me!!LOL (Happens to me all the time lol) Keep Coming Back..on ANY account!!! Love, Lady Eli
Col - this is your growth opportunity to quit fighting anyone and anything as it states in the big book. And that means QUIT! It IS a virtue. You disengage. You move away as if it doesn't even exist and completely ignore it - you absolutely do not walk into more disturbing trials for yourself. You quit that! It's one of the virtues I hang onto for dear life because it's taken me a life time to find it... and I'm SO thankful that I did.
There are certain people in life who's 'posts' I completely skip over. I know it will do harm to me to, and that I'm likely to react in some negative way and the only way to truly 'grow through it' is to quit ever putting myself there in the first place. Pretty tough thing for me to do! I HAVE TO SEE IT ALL. I HAVE TO respond to it all = I HHHHHAAAAADDD to. Not today. Not anymore. What others think of you is none of your business. Grasp onto that for dear life and QUIT walking straight into fire. Been there... done that... have the scars to prove it... hopefully showing you my scars can save you a few...
Hey James, ... that's what the BB tells us ... that us alcoholics are childish on so many levels ... LOL ... Ha! ... we never grew up ... we still act like little kids ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
. I don't post here a lot, but I usually pop in daily to see how things are with MIP. I was just thinking yesterday, Col hasn't posted in a while, I hope she's ok. For me, just like in my home group, if someone is coming around often & then they're not, I worry. Then I pray. There's a saying that goes " If you're going to worry, why pray? And if you pray, why worry" or something to that effect. So, I pray that God watches over the person, and that they get a sense somehow, someway, that they are not alone.
