"You are absolutely invited to join me for a cup of coffee this morning."

I woke relatively early this morning.  Sat up, put feet on the floor, then leaned forward and asked my Higher Power to guide me through this day, and thanked Him for giving me another one.

I got off the bed, stumbled into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and then headed to the bathroom.

Washing my face, I looked up at my mirror and saw a bumper sticker that has been at the top of it for years.  "Expect A Miracle" it says.

I came into my living room, opened my laptop, went to Craigslist, renewed some of my ads for business, and called a customer to schedule a estimate for this morning.

Coffee is ready to be poured into a cup, with two spoons of sugar added, so I go get that done and sit back in front of my laptop.

I read each of the 12 Steps.

Have I worked them well?  Is there an area that I have fallen short in my resolve to change?  Is it time to go through them in writing again? Alot of life events have unfolded since the last time I did some writing in relation to the step work this program of recovery is designed around.  I will call my sponsor today and let him know its time for me to do some more work on ME.

The coffee taste very good.

I wonder to myself as I write this: What is holding me back?  Why do I feel so afraid to take a chance, to do something completely new and different, to step out of the comfort zone I have constructed around myself.  Let's face it John, something has to change.  Your comfort zone isn't so damn comfortable any more!  As I have heard thousands of times... "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep gettin' what you've always gotten".  I know that I have to take a chance, I know that change has to be forthcoming, and I know its going to take action on my part.

Taking a chance... I took a chance when I came into the rooms of AA back in 1983 or 4, and I tried to do things my way.  I call those first 5 years, my "getting ready" years.  I kept flopping in and out, coming back, taking a chance and trying "just one more time".  After coming to terms with the odds being so stacked against me and knowing that alcoholics have such a hiedous disease that has no termination date, and without some form of spiritual relief, I am destined to continue down the same road... I took one more chance in 1989.  I entered the rooms and that Miracle I was expecting, started to take place... and its nothing short of a Miracle.  It's an ongoing, continuous miracle that I get to endulge in one day at a time.  I discovered that I too could "get this thing", that I too, could learn how to stay and live sober, that I too could be of value and worth to another human being, that I too could find a place in this world and enjoy it, not always have to be looking at the greener grass somewhere else... IF I DIDN'T take that first drink.  I had to learn how to live where my feet are planted.  I had to learn how to ask for help.  I had to learn how to reach out to others in need, and most importantly, I had to develop some sort of relationship with a God I didn't understand.  One day at a time, one step at a time, one success at a time, one failure at a time, one hope at a time, one action at a time, one skipped drink at a time... I became a Miracle In Progress.  

Today I am still very much a Miracle In Progress.  I am not the final product, I am not a finished piece of work.  In fact, the work in front of me today is every bit as vital as the work I had do in the beginning.  The beautiful thing about this program, is I don't have to do it alone.  I can't and won't do it alone! My Higher Power will sit right there with me as I pull out the pen and paper, and start writing ever so honestly, as though no one in the world will ever read my words... and then I'll share it with one human being.

Many years ago, when I asked my first sponsor how do you know if you have worked the steps to your fullest ability, he smiled that silly smile they teach in sponsorship school (or so I thought back then) and replied... "What doesn't come out in the wash, will surely come out in the rinse.  What you don't do today, God will give you the opportunity, the situation, the circumstances and motivation to do it as you continue to grow up."

Today, I feel like I'm still growing up.  And its a journey.  An ongoing experience called life.  and...

I am very glad I get to be a part of it, that I get to participate in it.  That I can stop being a ghost in my own world.

Hope each of you have a fabulous day, that is filled with joy, and that you'll take a chance with me and try to do this thing called sobreity one more time.  TODAY!

John