Been drinking heavily for years. Trying to stop now. In the middle of the night I start feeling like I will explode. Of course, I can't sleep. I know this is normal. Any advice on dealing? I have no insurance, so cannot get any assistance in getting through it, and cannot afford to have any time off from my job (even if they knew). I do get to meetings regularly and a free group therapy session. But the physical issues are getting to me. I have a seizure disorder and suffer from depression anyway...just want to be able to get through this without falling apart, physically or mentally.
I sweated out detox on my own. It's not wise but it is what it is. If you already take meds for a seizure disorder, that will lessen the chance of DT's and a seizure from that. The worst of it should be over in a week. One day at a time. I would say I did "fall apart" mentally and I had problems sleeping for a while - but I told myself that I used to function on bad ass hangovers at work and no sleep on top of it so it would be ok....and it was.
If you drink you will die. Period. So whatever you are going through right now is better than what will happen if you drink. Dive full force into the program and cling to it as if it is saving your life - cuz it can and will if you do that.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome duchess9....I can tell you that detoxing after a long and heavy drinking career can be dangerous...If not fatal...People die from that. I also had a problem with seizures and suffered from depression....It turns out for myself...They were both alcohol driven....I was pouring a depressant into my system at every chance I had...Go figure. Have you looked into a walk in or free clinic in your area?....Salvation Army maybe?...Be honest about what you are doing...Or what you want to do...And they may be able to assist you....I had to detox under medical supervision...I also had no insurance...A brother paid for it and I'll be paying it back for awhile....But I'm alive...And sober....Three things worked for me as far as AA goes...Meetings...Sponsor...Stepwork....I gave that everything I had.....It worked. It will work for you too.....Be careful...And check in here often....We've been there. And there is a solution.
If you go to AA meetings regularly then I suggest you ask the oldtimers there about free detox centers and what to expect early on. Do you have a sponsor?
You say you can't afford any time off nor can't afford detox. Perhaps your priorities are not in order.
I suggest putting recovery at the top of your "to do" list and the rest will fall into place.... if you don't, your job and health will likely be gone soon anyway.
Getting and staying sober goes right against the grain of us alkies. We don't get to do it "our way". It will be God's way or not at all. Your sponsor will help you with that.
Welcome Duchess!!! We are all so happy you (and we ;) ) made it this far!!!! First...please read and repeat read and repeat read Bob ( 2grandaughters) R.s great ideas!!! Also, all of us drunks have that "familiar alcoholic obsession, that noone knows".......Well...Dear One....No amount of toothpaste and breath mints, and perfume, could EVER eliminate the strong and OBVIOUS odor of alcohol leaving my body....THRU MY PORES!!!! We...(and forgive me, but I am allowed to say this, 'cause I lived it!lol)....again...WE SMELL STRONGLY...like alcohol! I was mortified, when I was new, to have it revealed to me...that concealing my alcoholism...was mostly impossible....but...also a great RELIEF! Because I found in A.A., people that I did not HAFTA hide from!!! Wheee! and WOW! Congratulations on the (I believe) true Miracle, of you braving up, and signing in with us!!! You just might have an angel, on your shoulder, helping you to do the things that are impossible, for us drunks! I have a sense, that you have fought the good fight, against this thing! Now....just for today...maybe...just for a moment, hand the reigns over to that Angel that led you to us...............I had done, for years and years, every thing I could conjure, to control &/or STOP drinking and drugging...NOTHING WORKED! Untill I admitted in A.A. that I didnt know... THAT was the beginning...of my life......Bless you soooo much!! We are NOT Dr.s here...my brother, bit THROUGH his tongue, during an alcoholic seizure....it is SERIOUS...and there are MANY MANY resources out there to help with detox (A.A. clubs and people know whats available AND theres google too )... Bless you profusely...and Keep Coming Back!!! Love, Lady Eli
Welcome duchess9, ... we're glad to have you with us here at MIP ...
Depending on just how much you have been drinking on a regular basis, 'detox' can be 'life threatening' ... ... ... Forget about getting any good sleep at all for a few days at least, and seek medical attention for the first three or four days at least ... at least have someone that will check on you regularly during this time ... it can be fatal if you don''t ... ... ...
You are going to feel like you are coming apart both physically and mentally, so be prepared for it ... just don't drink, no matter what your body tells you ... you must 'break' the cycle ...
Go to 3 or 4 meetings a day for a while if you can ... have a lot of phone numbers of fellow AA'rs to call and talk to ...
Detox is a bitch, but this too, shall past ... just hold on to us and we'll help you through ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I know that there is discussion on both sides of the fence about this... but when I was at my worst of the worst & could not stop under any circumstances (meetings, calling, etc) I went to my doc and got myself on Antabuse. I didn't have insurance at the time & I paid out of pocket. Yeah it's $$ but I was desperate. And then at night after a few days if I couldn't sleep I would try a few varieties of over the counter sleep stuff. There's this great little orange drink called Neuro Sleep that they sell at normal grocery stores & whether it's a placebo or not, it worked. Sometimes 1 tylenol PM helps too.
Here's the thing that I always like to throw in there- antabuse is great for some people but it can't be your first line of defense. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings & then think about starting the steps. Join a group, get some numbers, get a job in the group & make your commitment. The anti alcohol meds give me some icky side effects but it was the ONLY way I could stop and get on the path.
Also my 2 cents for not being able to afford it... how much are/were you spending on booze every week or month? Putting some $ into getting sober might not end up being an actual expense if you know what I mean. THat's just how I had to look at it.
