In my search for what describes, or rather what is it that makes up the perfect person, I've come across the following ... (hope this helps, Tasha)(excerpt from the writings of Henry Drummond):
The spectrum of love has nine ingredients:
Patience ----- "Love suffereth long."
Kindness ----- "And is kind."
Generosity ----- "Love envieth not."
Humility ----- "Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up."
Courtesy ----- "Doth not behave itself unseemly."
Unselfishness ----- "Seeketh not her own."
Good temper ----- "Is not easily provoked."
Guilelessness ----- "Thinketh no evil."
Sincerity ----- "Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth."
Patience; kindness; generosity; humility; courtesy; unselfishness; good temper; guilelessness; sincerity ----- these make up the supreme gift, the stature of the perfect person ...
All these qualities are in relation to people, in relation to life, in relation to the known today and the near tomorrow, and not to the unknown eternity. ... ... ... The 'Good Book' as Dr. Bob called the Bible, teaches us to love God, and in doing so, we must learn to love each other ...
Love you guys and God Bless,
Pappy
P.S. This is, in part, my answer to the 'co-dependency' issue that surfaced recently ... as I've discussed with Tasha, the type 'love' we are admonished to have and express from the wisdom taught in the Good Book, as outlined above, tells me we 'should' become co-dependent on each other ... ... ... especially the union of a man and woman in marriage, and the trust born of dependency on our parents in healthy families (co-dependency my fuzzy butt ... just EXACTLY what is co-dependency anyway ... ???) ... ... ... there may exist unhealthy relationships ... but it's not my belief that that is 'caused' by 'co-dependency' ... this wasn't ever even discussed before this last century came into being ... I feel 'co-dependency' can either be 'very healthy' OR 'very unhealthy' ... it depends entirely on the individual and the choices they make in their own personal lives ... (example: ... I feel VERY co-dependent on God ... is that good? or bad?) ... just trying to make a point ... please don't get all 'bent outta shape people)
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I think one of the main concepts for me that I actually picked up from one of the readings in AA many months ago, was that how YOU are acting, doesn't have to affect my reaction to my life. If you're pissed off at me, that doesn't automatically mean I am going to have to go down that path. I don't have to be upset and screaming back when my kids get into a sibling brawl. I can always stay perfectly calm if that is what I chose. I didn't really realize that was possible before this program. I always took on the moods of my parents growing up - and I know I never really stopped doing that. Now I can tell my kids that they always have a choice, and so do I, and it's no disrespect to not be upset when someone's having a bad day. I think I actually thought that if I didn't act pissed off about it too - it was not showing love - but someone who loves me truly in a healthy way - does not need me to be upset that they're upset. It's much more respectful to continue to be happy and healthy in spite of anything that might be going on with anyone else.
That doesn't mean I do not show love, kindness, gestures of care or lullabies to sleep - it just means that I know that in order to truly love you the way I want to - I must love myself and keep myself in touch with the source of all love - my HP.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I have my own standards, and it's pretty easy to tell when I'm living up to them, or not - more often not. It's just based on how I feel in any given moment. If I'm feeling uneasy, angry, discontented, fearful... I can probably trace it back to a recent violation of my personal standards.
One thing I try not to do is tell other people what my standards are, unless I absolutely must in order to explain myself or take a position. But I'm finding that it's usually not necessary. If I tell you what my personal standards are, I'm implying that they should be yours too - which is out of line. I'm sure I still do it all the time but I do go by that old saw about cheating the man in the glass. In his eyes, I can see my own integrity. Or lack thereof. It's just between me and the glass.
Co depedecy.....it's a puzzle to me. I love myself. I love my estranged son and daughter. I don't like them but I do love them
I love another person. She shows she loves me. She puts her young children's wants and needs before her own and before ours and mine.
I put my needs first, my wants are negotiables.
That could be said to be co dependent in the, to my understanding, wrong use of the term, in that some would say I give too much.
Now if my mood was determined by her mood(like it was with my ex wife) that, to me, would be my understanding of negative codependecy.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Well, for me, I'm just grateful to have a program where I can work the steps to achieve a spiritual 'BOND' to my higher power and let my 1st 'life's priority' be to establish and live the principles laid down and set forth by Alcoholics Anonymous ... This allows me to live in 'reality' and to be 'co-dependent' on the only one in my life that should really matter anyway, God ... because to live as God would have me live, is to live in co-dependency with the principles of the AA program, not dependent on any other person, place, or thing ... it's to live in the truth ... the spirit ... it is to become whole with the universe .... (or heaven if you prefer)(as in, heaven on earth) ... ... ... The Spectrum of Love
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
