This would have never happened without Sobriety ... Warning, the following may cause injury if you're not properly prepared ... or at the very least, it may cause a big mess ... Do not be drinking anything while reading this short little confession ... (True story of my yesterday morning):
It was about 4 or 5 a.m. Sunday morning ... my wife home from traveling the past week ... we were both in bed and I had just come back to bed from the call of nature ... that and the darn pills I take to get rid of fluids ... anyway, just so you know, my wife and I are 60 y/o and 'snoring' has become a problem for both of us ... the more tired we are, the louder we snore ... (oh, yeah, we tried the nasal strips ... they help, but no-one reminds us to get more at the store so we never have any) ...
We both have this ritual of 'nudging each other' at night to stop the snoring hopefully long enough for the other one to get to sleep before the other fires back up again ...
Well, this time, instead of Rose, our dog, sleeping between our legs, Rose decides to split the bed at our heads ... my face is buried into the back of Rose's head and her head is buried into the back of my wife head ... okay ... ... ... the wife fires up the ole 'honker' and is snoringly loudly by this point (we both sound like we're fixing to choke to death or something when we get to goin' ...) ... All right, time to nudge her I think, but Rose's position is making this difficult ... I nudge my wife with my hand a couple times and she stops snoring breifly , only to fire right back up ... I am so awake now I decide to have some fun ... I grab Rose's leg and paw and start nudging my wife, all the time thinking she'll finally wake up and turn over or something ... or that it might 'scare' her awake ...
After 3 or 4 times like this, she finally rolled over and became quiet for the rest of the night, what little there was left of it ... we all slept late, and Rose and I the last to rise ...
Okay, ... ... ... It's quiet as we both read the Sunday Newspaper ... my coffee had just gotten to the temperature that I could take a fairly big swallow ... I was in the middle of taking my big swallow of coffee when my wife up and said "you know what? ... I had a dream last night that Rose was trying to wake me up with her paw" ...
DO YOU REALIZE how uncomfortable it is to have coffee shoot through your nose and cover your morning paper ??? ... ... ... not to mention the resulting mess to everything around you ??? .... ... ... It took me another half hour to regain my composure ... I think I hurt myself laughing so much ... and I really thought I was going to have to go back to the hospital, dying with laughter ... My wife was laughing right along with me but had no clue as to why ... ... ...
After about an hour, and another pot of coffee, I confessed to the doggie paw nudging ... (making sure I had nothing close to my mouth this time ...)
You newbies may think this quite insane ... but after a while sober, you learn that these are the times that really make life worthwhile ... so I thought to add to all the 'hard-luck' stories here, I'd add some true-to-life good/happy/funny stories ... man oh man is it great to be sober today ...
Love you guys and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey not to offer unsolicited advice :) I started sleeping with the double mouthguard a few years ago....just the ones you use for teeth whitening. It forces you to breath through the nose and my wife almost never wakes up now.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
