Yesterday, I had someone come at me with their pointer finger and swear at me "I am not fucking happy with you right now" RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CHILDRENS MUSIC CLASS! Seriously! I babysit for these two sweet little two year olds, and have told the parents many times that I am a music teacher and teach at the music school on wednesday - a toddler music enjoyment class. When they picked me to be their babysitter, they went on and on about how they were so happy I could take their twins, that they really wanted them to have music in their lives and couldn't wait for my class to start. Well it resumed yesterday, and as planned - we went to music class!
They CHEWED ME OUT WITH F BOMBS saying that "I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TRANSPORT THEIR CHILDREN!"
And that I never told them about the class etc etc. It was crazy - and you know that part in the promises where it says we will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us - well I think I finally know what that means because I was completely calm and collected vs. crumbling terrified crying and crushed/crumbled on the floor - OR - yelling back, being defensive, trying to argue with insanity - oh I have done the arguing with the insane too many times - and I didn't HAVE TO do that yesterday! I was able to just be cool - let him say his peace, I did give him a dirty look when he swore in front of a group of children, but only for their sake - I was able to totally handle myself... AND I DID NOT HAVE TO REACT to his bad behavior... I did not HAVE to behave badly because he was, I did not have to take on any guilt or shame or any of his feelings about it at all!
It was incredible. In fact, the whole time I was just standing there kind of getting a smile on my face because I felt so bad for him, that he has to still live this way, but I was blessed with the opportunity to SEE MYSELF and be overwhelmingly grateful that I do not have to live that way anymore! Not that I would swear in front of a group of kids at someone, but I have done things just as disgusting and I don't have to anymore!
I didn't have to resent it all day... I put their things on my front step and let them know that they could pick their stuff up any time - and wished them well. I prayed for their peace - ME THE AGNOSTIC HELLO! WHAT????
I tell ya - this program works!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Tasha the 'AGNOSTIC'? ... maybe in the past, but not any longer ... I have heard, seen, and experienced God's presence through you, more this past few months, than just about anyone else ...
And Christine? ... ... ... I really hate to pop your bubble, but I have it on good authority, that when we reach whatever comes next? ... 'this life' will have been the test for what comes next ... so get used to being 'constantly tested' ... it comes with the territory ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Wheeeee Missie!!!!! Yay you!!! "This is a sick person.....how can I be (gag me lol) helpful to them....God save me from bein" angry....Thy will not mine be done." And....repeat....."This is a sick person...yadda yadda yadda"!!! You done GOOD honey! :)
I will only ditto what others have already said here.
And Tasha...
Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. BB, Chapter "We Agnostics" pg 55
We are getting to see that demonstration in your coming, coming to, and coming to believe.
Right on Tasha! Way to go! I am so proud of you and I know that the best is yet to come. Thanks for writing such an excellent example of how this program changes us from the inside out. Newcomers and old timers are sure to benefit from this one.
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"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned."
Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 84
An addict is WHAT I am but it does not define all of WHO I am.
That is awesome, love the peace & serenity that you have received! Great example of change received from AA, the change I am looking forward to learning more about! :)
