I remember a surgeon being angry at me for refusing this drug just after ankle surgery citing that the ankle break was the most painful of injuries.  My reply was I had no pain and that was true and then the anesthesiologist making his appearance wanting to appologize for the ingury to my throat and nasal passages because they were too small and he had to force the tubes into them before surgery by kneeling on my body on the surgery table.  This man was a sponsee who I didn't know was also a "numbing doctor"...LOL.  I also told him there "was no pain"  and both he and the surgeon came to understand that there was something bigger than them in the whole deal.  I hope they came to find out.  I remember so many directions inside of the program where some of us advised others to get off of the "drugs" and many of those were prescribed and at times I had to admit that I was small and closed minded in my suggestion no knowing the full circumstances of the other man's plight.  What's the point in all of this?  I just got a phone call that my elder brother passed away after a 5 year fight with bone cancer.  In the end they gave him 6 months max and the morphine...thank God for the morphine because I know from present experience how great the pain can be as I sit here (morphine free) with spine injury from the police assault.   No I don't take morphine or any other pain killer...I do take a prescript so I can get pass the PTSD and remain asleep without the conscious/sub-conscious drama.  My brother passed pain free and not in his right mind that being one of the consequences of drugging.  "he couldn't string two words of meaning together" I was recently told and he wasn't in the pain caused from cancer evading his whole skeleton.  

Our morning meeting was partly on alcoholism erasing our feelings and I got it because it wasn't about the feelings that were necessary and fully able and justified in being removed.  I didn't and don't know my brothers very well because of what the disease had done to our family.  The brothers I have in the program are heady family members and we grow from each others experiences.

News Flash!!  Younger brother just called me back and said he passed on the wrong message...Older Brother and his spirit as still connected and so life goes on and he is still included in it.   Gave my younger brother some of the grace you all have taught me to pass on when it's life on life's terms and we continue with conscious contact.   (((hugs)))