Is a Sponsor in AA a must?

Mom2Samalways · Member

Is a Sponsor in AA a must?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Mom2Samalways wrote:
have been sober now for 12 Days (will not pick up a drink, will not pick a drink, will not pick a drink) Praise God! I have been to a few AA Meetings received several numbers and the Big Book, which I am slowly working through reading.
I don't know if I have the guts to ask for a Sponsor yet, I haven't even called any of the numbers.
1) I've actually been praying someone would call me. Are they waiting on me to be brave enough to make the first move?
2) And, is a Sponsor a must?
3) and one more question (as you guys can tell I am full of them...) what does a Sponsor do?

Thanks & am feeling grateful to get to know some of you!

J

1) Yes ... ... ... Only you can decide if you're an alcoholic AND if you need, or will accept, help ... ... ...

2) No ... ... ... BUT, very 'highly' recommended ... ... ... they've been through what you're about to go through, they have advantage of experience ...

3) Help guide you through working each of the steps of recovery ...

giving freely of their knowledge and experience of what works and what doesn't ... they can save you a whole lot of time wandering around like a lost puppy ... they will give freely of their time to help you to learn this 'way of life' ... a sponsor will most likely be a key factor in saving your life (from alcohol) ...

(Congrats on 12 days ... that ain't nothin' to sneeze at ...)

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

There is a sponsorship pamphlet you can pick up at any meeting or read online which can answer most or all of your questions on sponsorship.

There are many many pages of posts on this board regarding this question - some very recent - and there is a search by keyword on the top of the main page. It might help to search it - see you're not alone in being afraid - not wanting to have to do it - hoping you don't have to do it - listening to your disease tell you all the reasons you might be special and not have to do it... etc etc.

You will most likely get a sponsor if you're going to get serious and work the steps and do this program. Eventually it will be the only thing that makes sense. You could surpass all the time and effort your disease might put you through by just boldly doing it now....

I asked for a sponsor at my first ever meeting. That was the whole point in my going in fact. I was told by my husband that all I had to do was go to the meeting and get a sponsor - so I did! Turns out - there is a tad bit more to it than that. That one meeting wasn't going to cure me - and I had a lot to learn. I couldn't do the steps alone, and figure everything out alone - I got a sponsor to help. Think of a sponsor as a tour guide. Are you scared of tour guides? Probably not. Nothing to be scared of in a sponsor either. It's YOUR tour - you are the one who is taking the tour - they are just the guide now because they've taken the tour already from someone else.. Nothing to be afraid of.

tomsteve · Senior Member

i didnt need a sponsor, but witht the state of my mind, there was no way i would learn the program with my screwed up thinking. i woulda misunderstood it terribly. having someone who had worked the steps to guide me through them using the big book was the easiest, softest way.

that phone is a lot lighter than yer makin it out to be. no, they arent waiting for you , bet they will be there for you.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

I kind of look at it like if I hopped into the cockpit of a plane for the first time...And staring at the instruments...A pilot came up and asked me if I wanted him to show me how it works....How would I answer that?

Tomas · Senior Member

fIRST THINGS FIRST...KEEP ON GOING TO MEETINGS AND YOUR AA PROBLEMS WILL ENTANGLE..GOD IS RIGHT THERE FOR YOU..LET GO AND LET GOD..DON'T THINK TOO MUCH..90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS

B4-2MARO · Member

If nothing else, use your whole group as a temporary sponsor.

Bob K · Senior Member

I was told many years ago that a sponsor is someone who comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable. When I was having trouble my sponsor was there to guide me through and when I began to think I had all the answers he was there to point out how much I still needed to work on. A sponsor is there for the good and the bad. I tell people who I sponsor to not just tell the bad but let me share in the good also.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

A sponsor and working the steps is a must if you want to get the most out of the program. Is it a "must" to have a sponsor so as to not drink? Not necessarily but it's not really all about just "not drinking." Having a sponsor and working the steps with them will change you. If you do not change in the broader scheme, you are at much higher risk for relapse.

ChristineG · Senior Member

pinkchip wrote:
... but it's not really all about just "not drinking."

Ain't that the truth! Heck, not drinking is the EASY part! Now we have to change how we think and who we are. Scary stuff.

It's good to have someone to show me the way.

Sports dude · Veteran Member

Yes because that's the person who helps the most in recovery, a go to person to guilde us throught the steps & a motiavator

John · Admin

I would strongly suggest you get a sponsor. Why? Because you can't learn how to be one, if you never had one... and someone out there is going to be asking the same questions you are asking one day... and get the courage up to ask someone, and that someone might be you... What are you going to share with that newcomer? A "Do it yourself" program?

I was told and believe to this very day that if I have a sponsor by one hand and a sponsee by the other, I don't have a hand to drink with... one is pulling me forward and the other is pushing me forward... but "WE" are moving forward.. together.

John

lady eli · Senior Member

dear Mom 2.....Do ya see what you just did? You went contrary to the heart of every alcoholic.....You ASKED for help !!!.....Evidence, I believe, of an Angel on your shoulder.......Something HELPS us do what we cannot!!! My first meeting, I KNEW, whatever it was, I WANTED what these people (MY People) had.....I had a desire to stop drinking (which, lucky for me, is the ONLY requirement for A.A. membership). Also, lucky for me, I was, and remain MORE terrified of that dangerous FIRST drink/drug, than I have been of anything A.A. has asked of me...............I was terrified also of God....but.....I was willing......so....I started asking God to keep me clean/sober every morning, and thanking God for sobriety, and protection from the first drug, every night......I started asking that same Angel, to PLEASE, "Get me to a meeting today" (No matter how I felt about it!)........I began, from my first day, to start working Step "0".....daily............Look to the Preface (Big Book), the last paragraph sent me to the Stories at the BACK, of the book, and instructed me to pause, and ask myself three questions.......(Yeppers! HA! Look it up!! lol) I could do THAT Step 0 work, every day ....say those prayers....and go to meetings daily....and Bingo! I had my toe in the door.........THEN.....I could start asking that Angel, to send me a Teacher......Someone who KNOWS our Book, lives A.A., is STAYING clean and sober NO MATTER WHAT, and has something I want (Sobriety!!!).....God bless you, and Keep Coming BACK....We NEED you here! Promise!

TeganTantalize · Veteran Member

I was afraide at first to 5 months sober...I didint get a sponser for about 3 4 weeks everyoen kept saying get a sponser get a sponser...and the girl called me an di asked her to be my sponser i dont know if iw ould be able to do it by my self shit im 5 months sober and still struggling like hell and trying so hard to not pick up..

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

TeganTantalize wrote:
I was afraide at first to 5 months sober...I didint get a sponser for about 3 4 weeks everyoen kept saying get a sponser get a sponser...and the girl called me an di asked her to be my sponser i dont know if iw ould be able to do it by my self shit im 5 months sober and still struggling like hell and trying so hard to not pick up..

Are you working the steps with your sponsor?....That is the solution....Having had a spiritual awakening...As a result of these steps....Those promises materialize.