I agree Dean...I don't put it on a billboard that I'm in AA....But my family and friends that care about me only knew me as a drunk.....They knew something was up...I'm not going to lie to them...They're thrilled.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Sunday 27th of January 2013 11:21:11 AM
Hiya all got a problem and i really dont what to do for the best! You see my ex partner is AA and has been for 15 years,he has been clean and sober for that time aswell. My problem is do i tell him im in AA? We have 2 children together who he sees every 2 weeks for the weekend and he is a fantastic dad,its just i dont want him to think badly of me,not that i think he would its just me and my shame!! I have been worrying about this for a while. Its not like he dosent no i have a problem with drink,he has seen me drunk & often said i shouldnt be drinking every day. I have been sober for 23 days now. A ny advice guys would be great,xx
Thanks guys i know in my heart its the right thing to do by telling him,guess im just scared to be honest. I want to honest about everything in my life now to much lies and dishonesty when i was drinking!!!xx
I wish my x would put down the 3 or 4 double white russians a night and try and have a real relationship with our 26yo son (who lives 4 state away). And yes congrats on nearly 30 days, hang in there, you're worth it.
1st, congrats on 23 days ... that's no small feat ...
My thought on this situation is that with the kids going back and forth between the both of you, your Ex will figure all this out about you and AA on his own ... and I'm sure he's going to be relieved, as Dean mentioned ...
What I would not do, is advertise to anyone, the fact that I'm going to AA ... at this stage anyway ... others, including your Ex, may come to expect too much from this fact (let them find out on their own AND form their own opinions, of which you should have NO concern what-so-ever ... that could put unnecessary pressure on you ... YOU need to do this for YOU ... regardless of anyone else right now ... regardless of what anyone else may or may not think of you right now ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Marge, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your ex still...if you are close at all...if you've become friends, if he could be support or if you'd even want him to. Hence, the response depends on all those factors.
Odds are he will probably feel VERY good about you being in AA. Since he has long term sobriety in AA, I assume he will be looking at AA membership as a strength and not a weakness or a fault. Like you said, he was probably more judging and fearful about your active drinking.
I'm guessing your fear to tell him (or other folks in general) is kind of like the fear we get when we "tell" about anything serious. It means "no turning back now." Well...So much about AA is already about faith. No time to doubt and worry "what if I fail after telling him I'm in AA?" or "what if I change my mind?" Who cares? Life is too short and you are trying to recover. You are just doing your best and anyone who is in AA should understand and be able to support you. Even him.
So...whatever you decide, just try not to be afraid. Help is there from your HP and others.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Yep, I think the fact that your ex husband is in the program means he will understand and be happy for you.
I haven't told many people that I'm in AA. In fact, I've told two. My husband, and a member of my family who is also in the program. I have a couple of close friends who I haven't told, because I really fear hearing that I'm overreacting, or that I don't need to be in AA. That would be the worst thing for me to hear right now, because my sick brain tells me that all the time anyway and I sure don't need it confirmed.
Hey marge...congradulations also and it shouldn't be too hard to ask him to take you to his next meeting or offer to take him to yours. He'll hear you identify and there you go!! Turn it over. By the way he'll probably already understand that you are and have said some prayers and wishes like Dean mentioned here. Give it a shot...I just love drama ....don't you!! ((((hugs))))
