Oh boy. I think I have to start making real decisions. Ive always been under the impression that I WAS making decisions, but in reality I was always just letting life happen to me, and generally opting for the easiest, quickest route. This is been made very clear to me lately in regards to my employment situation. I'm essentially unemployed, and have been for about a month now. I've been blessed to have not been dumb enough to burn bridges at my part time job. I'm now working just 3 nights there- enough to ensure rent is paid, fridge has something in it and my phone won't be shut off LOL. Well, I've been floating by, kinda lost, for a month now- but this cannot continue indefinitely. I could very easily, with my experience, get another waitressing job. Probably today by doing the door to door thing until I hit the right place. The problem, for me, is that this is what I've always done- since I began working as a young teenager. Im totally burnt out on this line of work. It's become somewhat toxic for me. The lure of fast, easy money is enticing... But not at all fulfilling or stable. I find myself thinking about such new and 'foreign' concepts of stability, steady income, benefits, a paycheck as opposed to cash, wanting to use my brain and contribute something that means something to me, a 401k, health insurance. These things used to scare the crap outta me! It reminds me too much of being an ADULT (the horror!!!) and being integrated into a world I spent my life being angry at, contemptuous of, and rebelling against. Yet, here I am. I realize I'm afraid that I just may not cut it in this world of adult things- the world of actual responsibility. Also, what can I DO?? Over 20 years of waitressing experience doesn't exactly give the "Wow factor" to a prospective employee. Fear is the overriding theme here.
Also, what can I DO?? Over 20 years of waitressing experience doesn't exactly give the "Wow factor" to a prospective employee. Fear is the overriding theme here.
First relax. The job will be there when you need it. You have to trust me on that. You won't starve or freeze in the meantime either. And you're sober. That mean that you are running on at least twice as many cylinders in whatever interviews you do now, than what you did before. And you have belief in yourself. Look how well you are doing, eh?
And don't sell yourself short. Waitressing involves sales, customer service, maths, deadlines, quality, psychology, proiritising, punctuality, you were the face of the business and the liaison between the customer and the kitchen etc etc etc. I'm sure you could add another twenty things and they'll all be true. You have a tonne of skills you can offer. All you have to do is sell them to the employer. Make them wonder how the hell they ever ran a business without a go getter like yourself.
Col - I can't ad anything to that other than the simple tool of dressing as if you already have the job when you get there... and talking as if you love it and have waited your whole life to get there! The key is - to be truthful there - so what do you love?
I have found that all the things I thought I disliked, I actually could love if I was just true to my spirit. I thought I was burnt out on being a Mom, a teacher, cleaning, cooking, serving etc... but nope... It was just my spirit that I was not allowing to be fully in it because I thought there was something to be ashamed of there. But there wasn't... so I began to behave as if there was no way I could screw up, no way I could get fired, no way I could not love it, and voila: I'm not burned out anymore!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I don't know where your interests lie outside of what you are doing now, but there are opportunities out there ... I love how Frodo put all out there for you to look at ... don't ever sell yourself short ...
I was maintenance manager for a Nursing Home for a few years and that was so gratifying ... I was thinking you might possibly be interested in being a care giver assistant and then train to get your CNA certificate (Certified Nurse's Assistant) ... and then who knows after that ... caring for the older folks can be very rewarding but is at the same time very hard work ... many of them are not in their right minds, but many are ... the ones that talk of earlier times can be quite fascinating and very funny ... it takes a 'very special' person to do this kind of work ...
I remember the guy who was a pilot in WWII and was an ace for shooting down enemy German airships ... you should have seen his photos ... then there was this teacher who was very well read and could discuss the themes and plots of most every recent book ... then there was this lady that was 25 years my senior that took a shine to me ... we even started rumors around the nursing home that we were an 'item' ... it was so funny ... (she kept turning in maintenance requests for stupid things in her room just to get me to come by every day ...)
What we sometimes fail to see, is that there are whole other careers out there beyond what's in our own little world ... Branch out and pray for your eyes to be open to the possibilities ... above all, seek to end up in a job where you enjoy the work ... I've had that a few times in my life, and if you love the job you have, you'll never have to work a day in your life ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Great post Col! I see some clarity in your post as well as a change in attitude. That's what it's all about. Great progress! Some great experience posted as well. Keep in mind; that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Feelings are not facts. That's your diesase acting up. Self-Centeredness, driven by a hundred forms of Fear. Fear has kept me from doing a lot of things. With The Program and God on my side, I'm learning to Face, Everything, And Recover. Suit up and Show Up! You now have The Program and a HP on your side. Pray then move your feet! More will be revealed.
I took the same road Col....30 years in the restaurant business....It was like going to college to learn how to become an alcoholic...I got a P.H.D. I atually had to get out of it before I stopped drinking...Or it was going to kill me...Something about getting out of work at midnight with a pocket full of cash sent me right to the bar till 5 in the morning... I found I knew two things...Food and how to deal with demanding customers....I hooked up with a gourmet food store where I worked in the cheese department....Didn't make as much money...But I had reasonable hours and good benifits...And I wasn't surrounded by booze. I moved and have had two jobs....Both along the same line of work...Decent grocery stores....I like to be around food.
I'm probably making less money than I have since I was a kid....I made a TON of money in restauarants....And I don't have a thing to show for it.....Besides my tuition being paid to get into AA...But I have sanity....And I don't drink. If I have to work a later shift....Till 9:00....I can catch a morning meeting when I want...And if I work early...I can see my friends at the 7 or 8:30 at night. That's important....Meetings are my medicine. Something to look into....You know what I found out in this line of work?...There are a lot of ex restaurant/AA members that work in grocery stores....The guy that hired me has 11 years. It's all good Col...Sending you some prayers that something good shows up for you...Where you can work your program....And live your life.
I don't know..If you can work as stated just 3 days a week and support body and soul..that's a pretty good gig..As Father Martin said in his tape Chalktalk.."all his tapes..I guess CD's now I recommend highly for good solid AA..If you want to be a brain surgeon "go to med school"..ENTHUSIASM FOR WHAT YOU DO
I use to like those programs like Top Chef..Saying to myself..going to cooking school would be a lot of fun..becoming a top chef..you are already in the business....Maybe some day opening up your own place.
Joseph Campball...you can either change your jobs or find an ENTHUSISM for what you do..It's all in your belief system.."Follow your Bliss.
Hair dressing ...massuse.. Nursing pays well...fashion and makeup..working in a big store or small boutique suited to your interests..travel agency....don't be a victem get into action
I went from investment Banker ..highly educated in the US and Europe
to a blue collar ordinary seaman when I sobered..I was one of the few to rise to a senior level officer from that position
while doing that I went to engineering school 8 years to become a Naval Architect..My last exam took 2 years alone of hard work. My specialty boat designer.
After sailing to Samoa..I am now working on a plan to build 30 boats for the kids in Panama..
and a screenplay..guess what on Sailing...Titled SOAKED (LOL)
Walking back to my dinghy from my new office I pass the tennis courts..One guy I met John, a Samoan said,..Do you play..I said haven't had a racquet in my hands in 25 years..He said how old are you ..I said 70..his mouth dropped...You're in remarkable shape, strong..thought you low 50's.... Yeah..lifting weights and chasing young women (LOL)..or did I mention I don't drink or smoke.. i just wrote my sister I'm going to get back playing competitively..Life is great when you are sober..don't listen to the corus..listen to yourself.
As J. Campball pointed out..the world is a wasteland..only you make it what you want..I live by the 10th 11th and 12th step to make a wonderful life for myself.. in my 39th year of sobriety..
I loved what Frodo said. Never been in the restuarant business, but I can tell it is difficult work to be good at and there are a lot of transferable skills.
Employers like people in their 30's as they have some maturity and experience and still a lot of energy.
Don't heavily solicit, but you might want to let it be know around the rooms that you are looking for a job.
I just helped a 30 yr old lady at my homegroup w/ 6 months sober get a job with one of my customers. I was so glad to be able to help her, she has made amazing progress and shows up every Weds and Fri, 45 minutes early to help set up the meeting.
We listed our fears on paper. We asked God why we had them?
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
