I have a sister (actually two sisters) who are still in active alcoholism. I don't get to see them often, once or twice a year, as we live in different states. I try to call them or hope that they call me earlier in the day, as that way maybe they won't be drunk, or quite so drunk yet. The conversations are always so much harder fo me if they're drunk. Anyway, I love them both dearly, regardless. Last night, I was texting one of them back and forth about football, and then she slid in something about a major decision she has to make by Monday am. I asked her "what are you talking about?", and her response was I'm not talking about anything in a text. I knew she needed to talk, so I called her. I knew she would probably be drunk, and she was.
I asked her what was up, and she started going over past wrongs and hurts in her life, how things always turned out against her. The things she was talking about had nothing to do with the decision she has to make, and I finally just asked her but what about X, Y, Z., what's going on? She couldn't let go of the other stuff, the resentments, the anger, the hurts, kept talking about it, and even brought up things that I had done the same with in my past. Her: "Yeah, remember when such and such happened to you, that was just wrong. Doesn't that just piss you off so bad?" Me...."No, not any more" Her: "Well, what do you mean, that was just wrong, man, what happened to you" Me: "Well, yeah, maybe. But it serves me no purpose in my life to carry it around with me, so I try to let it go. It happened and I can't do anything about it, but carrying it around with me only weighs me down and holds me back" Her: "Wow, where'd you learn that?" Me "In AA." Her: "Wow. I need to learn that" Me: "You can."
I wanted to tell her to go to AA, learn about the program. I didn't. We've had that conversation before, and she's not there yet. Don't know if she'll ever be. At this point I can only continue to share my ESH, love her, and pray for her. I learned that in AA. And for that and everything else I have learned and continue to learn, I will be forever grateful. Thanks, and Peace.
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
I can relate to the hopes of a loved one walking into the rooms, and then actually staying and splashing around a while as a duck would take to water : )
I will pray for you... and her. Thanks for the share.
*hugs*
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Blessings Nezyb, let God's light continue shine thru you . Truly one aspect of our own spiritual awakenings comes through our understanding of our own Higher Powers that we develop by sharing with another who is still suffering. We are visions of HOPE, WE are examples of the program working and our joy in living free from active addiction and walking the walk is an attraction to the ones who still suffer.Continued strength in your daily journey living and reflecting a program of LIFE!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
There are a few people that I know who I would love to drag to a meeting. I then remember myself as an active alcoholic- how angry I would become if anyone were to suggest or hint at me having a problem- Quite a few people I simply stopped communicating with. During the last year of my drinking, a man I know in the program would sometimes quote the BB, or slogans to me- what he was saying clicked with me. I did know that he was one of 'those AA people'. Funny- he would never mention these words of wisdom that I deeply identified with as having to do with AA, though. It was only after I got involved myself and read the BB that I realized this. He was smart about it- he knew he would've scared me off with his 'cult propaganda'. Man, I was terrified and in deep denial. Sounds like your sister is probably picking up quite a bit from you. 'Attraction not promotion ' is very powerful.
