So I went out saturday night, with a girl friend, she called me up and she was like i'm drunk and i'm here waiting for you to come. She doesn't normally drink much cuz shes muslim , but after i finished my beer i could see that she had too many so I stuck to water, I knew she drove there and I was gonna have to drive her home.
It was a odd feeling driving, I haven't driven since I totalled my car from drinking and driving, So it was a very odd feeling , I was also extremely nervous because my licence is suspended still and even having the two beers in my system ( i had one after I was done at work). I could have gotten into big time / Jail time trouble.
I'm happy I was able to be the responsible one and not keep drinking, she kept pushing me too , but I kept saying no sorry, not telling her that i knew she wouldn't be able to drive. I kept to bottled water and ended up having a great time.
It was really nice driving agian , even though I wasn't supposed to , it reminded me of what I should be working towards.
I think you were very lucky this time ... but keep playing with fire and I guarantee you'll get burned ...
You'll probably think since you succeeded in 'getting by with it' this time, you can do it again ... it's how I used to think ... and after watching the Atlanta news last night, and seeing a young lady get 16 years of prison time for hitting and killing a policewoman who was helping a stranded motorist just makes me think ... 'There, but for the grace of God go I' ... you got it, the young lady was drunk ... I'v heard it all too many times, the young lady continued to say she was sorry ... over and over ... "I never meant to hurt anyone."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey:) I mean no disrespect here, and I apologize if this comes out wrong. I'm honestly confused as to the response you are seeking. Are you trying to get validation for your attempts at control? Are you trying to figure out if you want or need help? I'm not at all sure how to interpret this post.
83 posts on this site?! I'm confused?! Are you an alcoholic?! If so, do you want to stop drinking?! No big deal for me......do what you gotta do?! Just wondering if you have identified as an alcoholic?!
My reference to 'playing with fire' wasn't the driving part so much as it was that you admitted drinking again Saturday night ...
this time you managed to hold it to two, by your account ... and I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing in your place, prior to coming to AA ... I'm just saying it's choices like that, that can have VERY different consequences ... that's all ... I'm sure the young lady I made reference to above did not plan to go out to have a good time and then kill somebody on the way home either ... her choice put her in the favorable position for something like that to happen ... even after two beers, we start to lose what little 'common sense' most of us have, if any ...
I agree with Col's post too ... I was a little confused too ... and we're not going to judge whether you were right or wrong to do what you did, we just would rather you consider the consequences of your actions, or what could have easily landed you back in jail ... you do not understand, I used to do stupid sh!t like that too ... that's why I've nearly died a few times AND why I've nearly taken innocent people with me ... it's that kind of life(drinking) I had to put away and it's this kind of life(sober) I've learned to love ...
Just sayin' ... right now you have a choice ... next week? ... who knows? ... all your choices could be made for you from now on ... just like the girl that just got 16 years 'hard time' ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I made no mention of any 'right' or 'wrong', nor was I implying it. I recognize a bit of a younger version of myself in you, actually. I, too, used to go out every night to the bars to hang with my friends and have a 'couple'. I couldn't imagine life without it. It was my life. I've got 10 years on you.. For me? It got progressively worse in a very insidious way that I couldn't recognize at the time. That's all. Your posts make me concerned. You're on an AA forum, so it's clear that you see a problem. For me, I wish I had taken my own problem a little more seriously at your age:) I'm certainly not trying to attack you.
I think if nothing else, a very strong and healthy seed is being planted, and couldn't hardly be forgotten about. It's up to him to water it or let it lie for now. But I don't see how at this point he could forget about it all together. So that's the awesome part. Hopefully he begins to let it grow before he is one of the unfortunates who do not survive this disease... or even worse... takes people down with him.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
1. You're on an AA site, so I'm assuming you are, at a minimum, pretending that you don't want to drink and you did.
2. You're on an AA site, so I'm assuming you are, at a minimum, pretending that you don't want to drink and you hung out at a bar.
3. You have a suspended license due to being drunk and behind the wheel, so I'm assuming you are, at a minimum, pretending that you don't want to drink "I haven't driven since I totalled my car from drinking and driving"
4. You have a suspending license for drinking and driving, so you still drink and drive an diminish is a only having two, when you drank and drove again, so committed a fopar by AA's standards AND broke the law..."So it was a very odd feeling , I was also extremely nervous because my licence is suspended still and even having the two beers in my system"
5....disregarding the fact you could have killed someone, you made it all about you...which is typical alcoholic behavior..."I could have gotten into big time / Jail time""
You add points one to five and come up with "I'm happy I was able to be the responsible one".
I'm not seeing where anything you did was logical?
Want to be logical? Stop drinking, go to meetings and ask for help. Oh, and get the number for the local cab companies and call them for your friends.
The cops suspended your license. You drove on it and you drove on it while under the influence. You seem to think limiting it to 2 beers was a major accomplishment. All I hear is alcoholism whipping you, twisting your logic around, and keeping you active in addiction for probably another 10 years or more...
After some time in AA, most of us learn that we can't outsmart the cops, can't outsmart our loved ones, friends, and DEFINITELY CANNOT outsmart the drink. It's tricking you into thinking you can handle it. Odds are...you cant. But this is your journey and not mine.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hey Murray, 30 years old is a good time to get sober. That'swhen a lot of us take that "hard look". It was 29 for me. Why don't you commit to doing this the recommended way. You've been a member of this board for 2.5 years, I'm sure you 've read about doing 90 meetings in 90 days, while working the steps with a sponsor.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 14th of January 2013 06:52:47 PM
Murray...what self-serving BS will you tell yourself if you kill somebody...maybe a child...maybe your best friend...maybe yourself...with your drinking and driving?
How unbelievably arrogant for you to think that you somehow have the right to drink and drive. You seem to think that you are somehow above it all and free to exempt yourself from the law. I imagine you sincerely believe that you could never harm somebody with your drinking and driving.
I doubt you have a clue about the depth of the sorrow and pain that is caused when a drunk driver takes the life of someone you love dearly. You can't fix it...you can't undo it. Think about it!! And if you survive the crash, you have to live with the consequences of what you have done---you don't really get to "blame the disease", forgive yourself, and go your merry way.
I drank and drove plenty when I was "you", so believe me, I can relate and understand---but I'm sober now and I KNOW I cannot control the outcome if I drink, no matter what I may intend. I cannot guarantee no one will get hurt if I drink and drive and neither can anyone else who knows that alcohol is a problem for them. Drink yourself silly if you want, just don't get behind the wheel of any kind of vehicle. (Yeah-this is one of those things that Lee gets real hot about!!)
Why is it okay to drive on a suspended license at all? Why are you above the laws we have in place to protect society? And then after breaking the law, you congratulate yourself. This is alcoholic thinking that gets you in trouble. I don't think you will read this cuz I see you already deleted your account. So for everyone else...We come to AA to change. Not to keep skidding consequences, going around the law, and acting like rules don't apply to us.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I can not think of one worthwhile thing I have done in the last 15 years. I had some fun. I met some people. Nothing much changed though in those 15 years though.
I couldn't (wouldn't) listen and learn. I had to do it the hard way. I hope you won't.
Member's account was deleted by the member. We need to be careful about our negative responses to a posters flawed logic (incorrect thinking). They "don't know what they don't know" and beating them up isn't productive if they leave over it.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 15th of January 2013 11:55:11 AM
Lol, this is the silliest thing I've ever read here. Yes you're a hero for being a relapsing alcoholic who had a few and then drove home on a suspended license. Why the city isn't throwing a parade in your honour is beyond me :)
Lmao McHappy! What's sick is the identification factor. Though I've never driven drunk, that is probably solely due to the fact that I've Never driven or owned a car. But if we're honest we've all played this game with " oh! I only had x amount of drinks!!" and expected to be congratulated. Those desperate attempts at control...not a good place to be.
Oh don't misunderstand me, sadly I've made similar moronic mistakes myself on many occasions. I just wasn't thick headed enough to convince myself that I did nothing wrong. My delusion was never that powerful.
Ugh. Feel kinda bad that the account was deleted by the member. I'm not exactly a veteran around here, but I've been around the meeting halls for a few years now & have a tremendous amount of faith that it will 'stick' one day. Till then I keep coming back.
Like many of us I have a DUI- lucky for me no one was killed or hurt because of my ridiculous self-righteous behavior, I just got pulled over because God wanted me off the road after He noticed that I was swerving. What a TOTAL PAIN. In MA we have to take a class (I'm sure like in other states but I have no point of reference) for just about 6 months in addition to the $$$ it costs to be taught a lesson.
I dropped out of my first DUI class because it was taught by a woman who had a personal connection to a drunk driving injury or fatality. I'm here to tell you: NOT EFFECTIVE. I know what I did was wrong. I know I broke the law. I don't need to be beat over the head with what a horrible person I am for half the year. I'm an alcoholic, trust me, I can feel like a horrible person all on my own. What I needed (and found) was a class that taught me more effective ways to ensure it doesn't happen again.
Wanna know what keeps me not driving while drinking now? It's completely selfish of me, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If I get popped again for DUI, I lose not only my car, but my license for who knows how long, the fine is much higher, and I would have to go to this awful halfway house and scrub floors for 2 weeks in lieu of jail time, and would more than likely lose my job for not being there for 2 weeks. Also I would have to have this device installed in my car that beeps every 5 minutes and I have to blow into it and if it registers anything over a .02 your engine locks, you have to get your car towed & the device recalibrated, on top of the $80 a month it costs to have the thing in the first place. My understanding is that certain salad dressings can register a .02 reading. So... I really can't afford it- not to mention the first time I didn't have cash to bail my sorry butt out of jail so I spent a night in the clink and that was plenty. For today I'm not drinking. I wish that member was still around... if you don't care about one other person in this world or anyone's property or anything else, the thing to keep you from getting behind the wheel after a few drinks is that it is such a total and complete humiliating pain in the butt. No matter what a cab or a hotel costs, even if you hire a limo or stay at the Ritz... it's cheaper than a second DUI.
Oh c'mon, if I had a nickle for every time someone tore me a new corn shoot here I'd be rich.
I see it as our responsibility to speak up when someone's behaviour and thinking is dangerous. I hope he realizes, as I did when on the receiving end of a tongue lashing, that it comes from a place of care and concern. I hope he comes back.
To dear mandm....They say you've left....but just in case you're still peeking..:)....You may not believe this, but we know you, because we ARE you.....we respond so strongly, cause you are scaring us to death!!! Have we failed you in explaining what this disease really is? Its the FIRST drink, that gets us......If youre NOT peeking, we can all assume, you are trying again to control and enjoy your drinking...... DEAR ONE! I have been on both sides of the DUI problem. First, as a hopeless drunk (Who kept on NOT MEANING to get drunk and drive drunk.......and, in spite of trying as hard as I could, who KEPT on getting drunk and driving drunk) I have no idea how many times I drove drunk, to get caught twice....but I am certain, it was thousands!!!! And always, "Whew!!!!!! Dodged another bullet! Wheeeee! I'll NEVER TRY THAT AGAIN!!! LOLOLOLOLOL" In 2000, at 16 years sober, my friend was driving us , to a hospitol for alcoholics, to do 12th step work......(A previous wreck in sobriety, gave me a head injury and vision impairment, so I cant drive.....p.s. THAT wreck was also some elses recklessness) ........On the way, to work with the drunks, a drunk hit us head on! Can you frickin believe THAT? He ran away on foot, and later left the country. He DESTROYED my sons life ( and mine), and cowardly ran from the consequences of his harm against us.......There is not a single day, that I dont experience the sting of HIS drunk driving, and what it did to my child and I......... Which is better? To be the perpetrator of this crime against others, or the victim? They both suck.....BUT..... I am so thankful, that since becoming a full fledged sober/clean member of A.A., I dont hafta bear that horrible burden of guilt, for the kind of drunken harm I used to do to this world! Sigh....that alone is worth the price of admission (oh yea....we're free lolol) One of my sponsors, had 2 years sober, took the first drink again.....got drunk...and killed a guy. He will never come back. His family will never recover from her crime. And she made it back in....got 10 years sober, when she saved me.......and drank again....I think she could not cope with what she had done....and now she is lost.... If you are ready for A.A., nothing we say, can ever chase you out.....If you are not ready, nothing we say, can get you in.....But my heart hurts for you, because even if the Truth is impossible for you to see, us sober people CAN see it, and we are terrified for you, and anyone that may end up in your path! Blessings! Blessings! Blessings upon you! Love, Lady Eli Please Keep Coming Back!
