I was able to connect with these two young men-(students) because we had similar families.
One side that is sober. One side that are abusers. There are not too many normies in this group. Same goes for my family.
The party yesterday was to love and support one of the young men who is about to become a father. The sober side stayed inside, the abuser side----(not just alcohol, but meth and marijuana) stayed outside. The matriarch and I discussed the situation and the family dynamics. She is sober and spiritual, not in a program.
Our discussion mainly hinged on the fact that she believed that it is family first above all things.
Just looking for any thoughts here in my MIP group/family?!
I can't do what this matriarch is able to do. I choose to be anywhere else away from my family that is practicing their disease or some who enable their diseases!
I can't invite my family into my house when I know they are using, I will not allow any booze to those in my family that identified as alcoholics in the past in my house.
I'm just wondering about my acceptance, understanding, compassion and wisdom........wondering how much is tooooo little, how much is enough, and how much is tooooo much!!
I know I can't change others?! I know I have no power over others?! Is not wanting to be around others who are abusing.......is it my business and my side of the street?!
imo ... your house is just that, your house ... there should be nothing wrong with setting up parameters for conduct while others, family or not, are in your house ... this doesn't give you power over others cause they can leave if they want ... and it doesn't change others nor try to change others just because you have your own set of rules or expectations ... and if you have anyone over to your space, they should respect your desires, if they have even an ounce of respect for you ... if not, then they can politely go somewhere else to 'do their thing' ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Aloha Pablo and sooo right on. That is my program and journey also and it was and is the right one for me including the boundaries and beliefs and practices. We find the door that leads to the journey which is wide and in the distance is peace of mind, serenity and sobriety and we keep moving forward on what works for us. It is for us and for me that is and was the will of my HP. I was told in early program (Al-Anon) that I had to move away from all things alcohol and then I was to find and use whatever was available to gain and maintain my serenity and sobriety. I've done what you're doing and keeping it simple...no guilt and no shame and never a second guess. I respect the disease and it's cunning, powerful and baffling nature. I'm a "double" and your post reminds me so much about me so let me ask, Have you check out the Al-Anon Family Group side of MIP? My enabling nature is taken care of there...very well. Thanks for the post.
I was able to connect with these two young men-(students) because we had similar families.